Am I wrong in this?

seven-day-weekend

I would explain to your brother exactly why you are not going, stress that you are not trivialising HIS relationship with his father, and offer to be there for your brother like a good sister when the inevitable happens.

I agree it would be a bit of a farce to visit your father in hospital unless he specifically asks for you.

seabright

Can we stop feeding the troll? The person is just an attention seeker, don't give them what they want

sassyblue

anxious_mum wrote: »

Hi Patty,thank you for bring an objectiveness into this. I'll try to answer:

1. I lived in it. They just wanted to break up at the earliest possibility.

2. I know now that he wouldn't have got half of everything, but as a 16 year old in 1979 I didn't know what would happen after a divorce. I only know that my mum was quite scared at the prospect of being divorced, and of fending for herself, but between us we managed.

3. I sent a message via my brother as a kind of 'hand held out for friendship'. Please remember, I had been to see him in 1988 and he knocked me back. As my brother had a good relationship with my dad, why was that the wrong way to try to build the bridges? Don't forget, my son actually met him and went out with him one time after this. My dad promised to keep in touch but never did.....

At the end of the day, I don't have any feelings for the man, so why would I go to his funeral? He's not even dead yet!

Haven't read the whole thread a_m but why was your dad so nasty to you and not your brother?

I don't understand your brother tbh, why hasn't he helped mend bridges for you? I couldn't do that to a sibling of mine .

Haven't seen if your mum is still around, what's her take on all this?

x

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

DUTR wrote: »

Well you certainly hate me for what i don't know , perhaps it was because I was born with a penis?

Nope. Penises can be quite nice. When attached to someone with a nice personality.

DUTR

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Nope. Penises can be quite nice. When attached to someone with a nice personality.

Yes, but understand I am not on here to impress you or anybody else here, ya don't like me, who cares, I won't be changing for you, sorry darling.
Now how's about bringing the thread back on topic,you can use PM for your childish stabs eh

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

DUTR wrote: »

Yes, but understand I am not on here to impress you or anybody else here, ya don't like me, who cares, I won't be changing for you, sorry darling.
Now how's about bringing the thread back on topic,you can use PM for your childish stabs eh

Why would I want to PM you?

If you end up a sad, angry and lonely old man, that's not my problem.

The same way it isn't the OP's problem the man who had no interest in her/actively sought to damage her chances in life is unwell.

anxious_mum

Thanks Sassyblue, my mum is still around, she lives in a granny flat attached to my house and has always been there for my boys. I couldn't do the work I do if she wasn't around as I work away in Europe most weeks. She has been nothing but supportive. She has always been happy for me to contact my dad, and has encouraged my boys to do the same.

My brother went into the royal navy when he was 16 (I was 13) and stayed in for 24 years, so I guess he missed that 'break up' period that I went through. I am quite close to him and his family. I think I need to sit down with him and explain why I feel how I do, and he then has to appreciate my feelings. I find it hard that my dad buys christmas and birthday presents for my nephews, and he spends time with them, but just 4 doors down the road he has a daughter and two more grandsons but he doesn't want to know us.

DUTR

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Why would I want to PM you?

If you end up a sad, angry and lonely old man, that's not my problem.

The same way it isn't the OP's problem the man who had no interest in her/actively sought to damage her chances in life is unwell.

I'm not asking you to PM me, I'm just asking why hijack the thread with your personal vendeta against me?
If I end up a sad lonely old man indeed it is not your problem, it's certainly not a situation I worry about and I'm sure it would not be resolved by seeking contact with an unplanned child, or are NRPs supposed to be missing out on something?
It is not to say children always survive their parents, for all you know and heaven forbid, any of us could be involved in a fatality tomorrow :eek: