Virtual Sex - cheating or 'just p@rn'

VikkiiKawaii

Hi,
Haven't read through the entire thread but just had to say IMO it's definitely cheating. To me it doesn't matter what the medium is - as long as it's a real life, real time conversation with another person they are being unfaithful, although there is as another poster said a 'sliding scale'.
!!!!!! would bother me slightly less, although I think I would feel slightly uncomfortable with the idea, that's just who I am! It'd definitely be more comfortable if I knew about it, if it's been hidden then it makes it seem like it's worse than it is and undermines trust.

LisaB85

USM wrote: »

In my book it's cheating - and I'm a man.

Watching !!!!!! is one dimensional, there's no interaction so that's one thing. Actually interacting with another human in an intimate way whether it be in the pub, at a hotel, or online, is unacceptable in my view.

This is spot on!

I don't care about !!!!!!, as long as he is honest with me. I got upset over an ex watching !!!!!! as 3 weeks prior to me finding it on the laptop we had a chat and I said '!!!!!! can be fun but both people need to be honest' and he said 'I never watch !!!!!! I don't like it'

He told his mates I was upset about !!!!!!, he didn't understand it was the lies I was upset about.

C_Mababejive

Cybersex/Virtual sex ? Oh for Gods sake,tell him to man up. How sad is that ?

Yes i do believe it is not acceptable in a committed relationship.

purple.sarah

I see cyber sex as cheating because it is participating in sexual activity and interactions with another person, whereas !!!!!! is just looking at pictures. My husband feels the same if you want a man's perspective.

Also if I were you I would be worried about more than cyber sex, I looked up the websites and they are hook-up sites advertising "Real Members Wanting to Shag Near You" and "Meet like-minded people near you". These are not sites where people meet for virtual sex but the real thing. It's possible that he's just viewing these sites out of curiosity but it's also possible he is more involved, exposing you to more than just computer viruses! For your physical and emotional wellbeing you need to ask him some difficult questions and not be dismissed, it is understandable you would be concerned after seeing those urls in his history.

Sid_Wolf

maybe he is using private browsing to buy your christmas presents without you finding out?

Wilma33

Get home from work early one day and be quiet going in the front door?

Wilma33

Sid_Wolf wrote: »

maybe he is using private browsing to buy your christmas presents without you finding out?

The Windows advert where the husband is doing that makes me laugh. Everyone knows what private browsing is really for!

candygirl

Errata wrote: »

Cyber sex with an unknown woman demeans and trivialises women and an intimate act of love.

Totally agree hun:o:o

lynseyloop

Well people, he was definitely up to no good. A couple of weeks after posting I discovered photos of women that he'd hidden and I confronted him.

Big argument, lots of apologies from him, he promised not to do it again I asked what was so wrong in our relationship that he needed to do this, which he said nothing wrong, he'd just looked and then it was so easy to message women and chat to them (he denied cyber sex, or meeting anyone).

Anyway things seemed OK for a while, but what did I discover at the weekend ..... more photos and at least one dating profile, under assumed names but I'm fairly sure its him.

I need to know how far he is going to take this, I've set up a profile and aim to try and engage him in conversation, hope to even set up a meeting and shock the living daylights out of him lol.

Then I'm going to leave him.

Just wanted to say to anyone else, trust your instincts, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong a few months ago. It would have been so easy to shake off the feeling, and emerse myself in looking after the children, work etc

*Louise*

Thanks for coming back with an update - I think you were right to pursue the matter, a lot of people just stick their heads in the sand and ignore a potential issue then wonder why they feel so miserable.

Let us know how you get on from here