Another Christmas with the family 'problem'!!

candygirl

Person_one wrote: »

Some people these days are starting to get the strange idea that children are people and have feelings.

I always feel a little bit sorry for children who spend Christmas day being shuffled around and dragged to loads of different relative's houses. They look forward to it for weeks, can't sleep from excitement the night before then spend most of the actual day in the car or chatting to boring fuddy duddy uncles while all their shiny new toys sit unplayed with.

OP, I'd just stay at home and enjoy a lovely relaxed day with your children. There's no rule that you have to lay eyes on as many relatives as possible within a 15 hour period.

Just spat my beer out laughing:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

Parents make decisions from an adult perspective, taking account of the overall situation, children don't have the maturity to do that, their horizons are limited. Obviously, their feelings are important, but ultimately theirs should not be the casting vote in any decision making.

That opinion is unfashionable I know, but society is reaping the results of the other way of doing things. We have too many kids who believe only they have a right to be heard and that their opinion is the only one which matters, that isn't happening by chance, or by osmosis, it is happening because the pendulum has swung too far in accommodating the whims of children.

Oh come on, a child who wants to wake up in his own bed on Christmas morning is a harbinger of the downfall of society?

Person_one

candygirl wrote: »

Just spat my beer out laughing:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Don't give children beer though...

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

Oh come on, a child who wants to wake up in his own bed on Christmas morning is a harbinger of the downfall of society?

No, but a child whose whims mean real consideration is given to cancelling longstanding xmas arrangements thus impacting on the wider family might be.

thatgirlsam

poet123 wrote: »

No, but a child whose whims mean real consideration is given to cancelling longstanding xmas arrangements thus impacting on the wider family might be.

Usually I would agree with this

But 'whims'? Is it just a childish whim to want to wake up at home and spend the day at home on Christmas day

As far as I can make out the child hasn;t thrown a big paddy or a strop or demanded to stay at home, no, he broke down in tears when he realised he wouldn't be at home

Aww I'm a soppy so and so but if that were my child I would wnat to do that for him at Christmas - My Mum would be invited to mine and if she didn't want to come I would totally understand

poet123

It is a whim really though, once reassured that Santa will still find him, told about all the exciting things the family have planned (party games etc) promises to take an xmas eve treat box etc, most children would be quite happy to be away from home. Children do have fears, whims, irrational dislikes, we do them no favours to continually pander to them. Reassure them, calm them, but ultimately in a case such as this I would carry on with the planned arrangements.

thatgirlsam

poet123 wrote: »

It is a whim really though, once reassured that Santa will still find him, told about all the exciting things the family have planned (party games etc) promises to take an xmas eve treat box etc, most children would be quite happy to be away from home. Children do have fears, whims, irrational dislikes, we do them no favours to continually pander to them. Reassure them, calm them, but ultimately in a case such as this I would carry on with the planned arrangements.

although kids have whims about all sorts of things I think this could be really, really important to him

My Mum does usually come to us as when she was a child she hated being dragged around to other houses and watching all the adults getting drunk and she was wishing she could go home and play with her toys

I don't beleive Christmas should be all about the children but I do think their feelings should be considered in any plans

Its so important to them - my 6 year old is still awake as he is so excited to start his blooming advent calendar tomorrow!

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

It is a whim really though, once reassured that Santa will still find him, told about all the exciting things the family have planned (party games etc) promises to take an xmas eve treat box etc, most children would be quite happy to be away from home. Children do have fears, whims, irrational dislikes, we do them no favours to continually pander to them. Reassure them, calm them, but ultimately in a case such as this I would carry on with the planned arrangements.

The boy actually said it was about wanting to feel more comfortable at home, and because he associates staying there with an accident 5 years ago.

I certainly prefer to stay in my own bed at home 99% of the time, although I do stay with my parents occasionally. Luckily for me I'm an adult so nobody can decide that my decisions are a 'whim' and overrule them!

poet123

thatgirlsam wrote: »

although kids have whims about all sorts of things I think this could be really, really important to him

My Mum does usually come to us as when she was a child she hated being dragged around to other houses and watching all the adults getting drunk and she was wishing she could go home and play with her toys

I don't beleive Christmas should be all about the children but I do think their feelings should be considered in any plans

Its so important to them - my 6 year old is still awake as he is so excited to start his blooming advent calendar tomorrow!

I know how important xmas is to children;), but presents/material things should not be the only thing we allow them to focus on, family is important too, and as long as they have their toys (which the OP said would be delivered to his Grandmas not left at home)that should be enough. A simple "we have promised to go to Grandmas" and we have to keep our promises and we are going to have such a good time coupled with the reassurances detailed above should be enough.

If you capitulate to every whim because it is something they seem to really care about at that moment you really are setting the scene for kids ruling the roost.

thatgirlsam

poet123 wrote: »

I know how important xmas is to children;), but presents/material things should not be the only thing we allow them to focus on, family is important too, and as long as they have their toys (which the OP said would be delivered to his Grandmas not left at home)that should be enough. A simple "we have promised to go to Grandmas" and we have to keep our promises and we are going to have such a good time coupled with the reassurances detailed above should be enough.

If you capitulate to every whim because it is something they seem to really care about at that moment you really are setting the scene for kids ruling the roost.

there is no need to bow down to every whim and fancy of your child - Why the extremes?

As someone said above we are all entitled to our opinions

Mine is that the desire of my child to wake up at home on Christmas Day would over ride the desire of my mums to have us at her house

That does not mean that I bow down to every request or whim of my children, far from it actually