Another Christmas with the family 'problem'!!

Stephb1986_2

Person_one wrote: »

Some people these days are starting to get the strange idea that children are people and have feelings.

I see where your coming from but since when were adults dictated to by kids? That drives me nuts a child telling an adult what to do. What happened to manners and respect for your elders? I'm not that old so I'm no dinosaur I'm 25 and when I do have kids they will be doing as they are told. Non of this acting up malarky.

I suppose the only other option is to lock them in the cupboard under the stairs lol

We're all entitled to our own opinion at the end of the day thats just how I feel.

Steph

Mrs.W_2

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I might get flamed for this but when I was a kid I did as I was told. What ever happened to that??

Steph

Could only hope for such accepting children.

For this Christmas I've put my foot down about spending overnights at the Inlaws' house. My 8yo never sleeps well when excited, and my 2yo will scream until she falls to exhaustion if not put down in her own room.

Then there's my MIL's collection of 'priceless' pottery knick knacks the 2yo is always aims for when throwing a paddy.

I'm on edge from the moment they step onto M&FIL's white carpets, until we're all back in the car - tired and frazzled - for the 2.5hr drive home.

One of the gifts I sent them is a web cam. So they, um, sort of get to see the girls on Christmas Day.:D

claire16c

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I see where your coming from but since when were adults dictated to by kids? That drives me nuts a child telling an adult what to do. What happened to manners and respect for your elders? I'm not that old so I'm no dinosaur I'm 25 and when I do have kids they will be doing as they are told. Non of this acting up malarky.

We're all entitled to our own opinion at the end of the day thats just how I feel.

Steph

I agree. I wouldnt be having a child dictate to me what I was doing for the day, its not like they are being taken somewhere unsafe or something. Im sure theyd get over the issue once theyve got their presents anyway.

Person_one

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I see where your coming from but since when were adults dictated to by kids? That drives me nuts a child telling an adult what to do. What happened to manners and respect for your elders? I'm not that old so I'm no dinosaur I'm 25 and when I do have kids they will be doing as they are told. Non of this acting up malarky.

I suppose the only other option is to lock them in the cupboard under the stairs lol

We're all entitled to our own opinion at the end of the day thats just how I feel.

Steph

Huge difference between considering their feelings and allowing them to have their opinion taken seriously and being 'dictated to'. Manners and respect go in both directions.

I'm only 'dictated' to by my boss and I'd still speak up if I felt they were being unreasonable.

jellyhead

Must admit if one of my children had strong feelings about wanting to spend christmas eve/morning in their own home I would take them seriously and try to reach a family compromise that everyone (and by that I mean the 4 of us who live in this house) was happy with.

Before making the decision to spend christmas eve with the inlaws this year we asked the children what they thought.

onlyroz

Nicki wrote: »

Christmas lunch though is one of the few meals which is almost as easy to cook for 14 as it is for 4.

Not in my oven, it isn't. I've got a big oven and a smaller combi-oven, and I struggle to cook for more than 6. Not when there's the meat, yorkies, stuffing, roasties (and 6 people can eat a lot of roasties), veg, pigs-in-blankets etc etc.

Anyway, in response to the OP - I would be reluctant to let a small child dictate what we do on Christmas day, especially if plans have already been made and settled on. I'd stick to your plan, and maybe next year arrange to have a family Christmas at home where the oldies visit you for a change.

January20

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I might get flamed for this but when I was a kid I did as I was told. What ever happened to that??

You've made the arrangements stick to them.

Steph

Totally agree with that! This is an 8 year old child. What are they going to be dictating to next?
Yes, children do have feelings and this one should be reassured but plans which have been made with other adults should not be changed.

mustmakealist

When I was little we always used to spend Christmas day at home and then go and visit relatives on Boxing day or the weekend between christmas day and the new year. Would this be something to think of doing - especially as this year there is a 4 day holiday. A lot of people are also off between christmas and new year so again, visiting then might be a solution and allow you to see all of your family over the christmas period even if not on the day. It also spreads the holiday out a bit and if the children are lucky there will be presents on more than one day

meritaten

Nicki wrote: »

Christmas lunch though is one of the few meals which is almost as easy to cook for 14 as it is for 4. In fact in a way easier as you won't be eating left overs for weeks! Its just a glorified Sunday roast at the end of the day, with a joint which is always big enough for a crowd, unlike most supermarket chickens, beef or lamb roasts. That being said, the most I have ever had for Christmas so far is 10, but that was a doddle. Kids on a picnic rug on the floor/wallpaper pasting table/etc, grown ups round the dining table, and chuck everyone out for a nice walk after lunch to burn off steam, before presents, mince pies or Christmas cake and packing them home again. Now if you had all 14 staying overnight, I could see the problem

Nicki - I have cooked for eighty people at a time when I did the after match meal for the local rugby club! its NOT the cooking thats the problem! thats a doddle! (providing OH doesnt try to 'help').

Its fitting 8 adults and 6 kids into a dining room that measures 8 by 9! with the best will in the world - they DONT fit! yes, last year we had to have two 'sittings' - but that hardly makes it a family meal does it?

poet123

Parents make decisions from an adult perspective, taking account of the overall situation, children don't have the maturity to do that, their horizons are limited. Obviously, their feelings are important, but ultimately theirs should not be the casting vote in any decision making.

That opinion is unfashionable I know, but society is reaping the results of the other way of doing things. We have too many kids who believe only they have a right to be heard and that their opinion is the only one which matters, that isn't happening by chance, or by osmosis, it is happening because the pendulum has swung too far in accommodating the whims of children.