First steps make me feel sick.

paulcornwall

Thanks Teen, getting well nervous now only a matter of hours to go, ho god my belly is turning. Biggest Christmas present this year will be getting this huge load of my shoulders, the OR is the one freaking me out though. I'v scanned every page of the forms filled in at the CAB office to refresh my memory when he/she calls. Because I've suffered with mild mental illness my memory is horrific, I mean i can't remember what happened 2 days ago let alone 8 years ago.
So forms and money ready, what do i wear, I have a suit, was thinking of wearing this without a tie, what do you reckon?
Got to sort of my partners DRO with CAB on thursday as well, this is going to be one hell of a week. Gonna shortly have a can of beer, some valium and try to relax. Yet to call Samaritans but I'm sure I'm going to need them soon. A family and a sick mother to look after doesn't give much time for these issues. I've given them a rubbish christmas, a moody depressed dad, so busy trying to sort thing out i don't give them much attention, i could go on and on, it only i could let you know the rest. Boyeck things can only get better, any worse and I'll be 6 feet under.

Ineedaname

Paul, you might not have your full OR interview until the New Year. Some ORs have a brief chat either on the day of BR or within a couple of days, but that's just to make sure there's nothing urgent they need to deal with and to let you know what will happen next.

When I attended Court for my BR I made sure I was presentable enough to stand before a Judge, not wearing my usual scruffy biker T-shirt and leggings, lol. So a suit with shirt but no tie sounds absolutely fine to me.

Make sure you take 3 copies of the completed forms with you, cash to pay the fees, completed fee remission form if appropriate and then just a book and bottle of water or change for the coffee machine. There's usually quite a bit of waiting around in between seeing the clerk and anything happening.

Christmas will be fantastic if your recent family excursions are anything to go by. Pull out the board games and deck of cards and just enjoy spending time with the family without this burden hanging over you any more. You are a GREAT dad and I'm sure your kids would agree.

Teen_the_Drama_Queen

Paul, take things one step at a time (Rescue Remedy is useful at times like this). These are hurdles to get over, but trust me, things do get better after a while, life does go on, priorities change, not necessarily for the worse, life is just different. Once you have made the decision to go BR and run with it, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

The form looks daunting doesn't it - I wouldn't worry too much about dates of loans etc. I was quite vague cos I couldn't remember why we had taken each loan out and specific dates and the OR was ok with this. The clerk at the Court will read through the form in front of you - the clerk who checked mine mentioned that I hadn't totalled sums up properly (and I had read through that darned completed form at least 10 times and hadn't realised!!) so by the time it got before the judge it was ok.

Smart casual would do fine for Court, a suit without a tie would be ok. You see all sorts there, but I think out of respect to the judge, smart-ish is best.

mandyl

hi paul, hope your doing ok. i suffer terrible anxiety but find baby steps help. a little at a time and your get there x

paulcornwall

arghh, just got back in from the in laws, now trawling through the forms after having an argument with the misses...and breathe. Some people just don't understand the pressures of BR while coping with mental illness... i want to SCREAM!!!! Sorry guys, just need to vent!

JoePublic

Just a little while longer and it'll all be over mate, i guarantee you'll be back on here by the end of the day telling us how easy it was, how relieved you feel and how you're now all looking forward to enjoying Christmas...

Just remember, they can't kill you and they can't make you pregnant

paulcornwall

Well today is D DAY, getting ready now, wish me luck.

mandyl

sorry i wasnt more help:(
have depression and being alone and br i thought i might have been a help to you. obviously not

IF

paulcornwall wrote: »

Well today is D DAY, getting ready now, wish me luck.

Lots of luck Paul and let us know how you get on :beer:

Best wishes
If...x

paulcornwall

mandyl wrote: »

sorry i wasnt more help:(
have depression and being alone and br i thought i might have been a help to you. obviously not

Mandy you were a great help, everyone has been fantastic here, I'm sorry I didn't give you the thanks you deserve

Well been to the court, what a big place, must of been a full on trial going on. Had to go through a metal detector on the way in and be wanded down. Went upstairs to a quiet waiting area which felt like a bank countering service. Handed over the paperwork and money, was checked over by the clerk and then given to the judge. I was told to sit down and wait or grab a coffee in the cafe. I decided the later, but £1.80 for a coffee, funny enough thats the exact amount of change i had. Took the coffee back into this waiting area and by the time i took a couple of sips the papers were stamped and i was free to go!! I couldn't believe it. Now waiting for the OR to call, just want this out the way, hurry up and ring!!