A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

mardatha

Oh if only I could throw him at somebody!!!
Sweeties _ NO CHANCE!

[Deleted User]

MAR - I thought I was fairly safe as I probably live further away from you than most of us - shall just have to go and buy my own jellybabies then!!!! Cheers Lyn x.

Popperwell

Mrslurcherwalker and meme30,
It looks worse written down and I probably say more when I start than what I think(I don't know where it comes from)thank you for your kind words and support. Don't let me get you down...

The care Mum was given added to our stress(rather than helped)and I do dislike the head DN and SW a lot. I know there isn't anything they can do and I probably am better that they have stayed away but since Mum passed away no one from the services have shown their face and said "How are you doing?" and the Carer's Association wasn't much help either during Mum's illness and now she's gone there's no reason to be in touch with them.

But you know they should help after you stop being a carer as it's a sudden change to your life. Not just come to an aprut halt.

I think I am holding up quite well as things considering as you say its early days and some people do think you should be ok within a few weeks(they probably have not gone through such an experience themselves)

At least I have kept interested in my computer, the radio, music, cooking and eating meals(in the last day or two)I have watched a little tv via the internet but out of everything tv is what I have least interest in.

I have had more help and support from my friends on here and the internet than anyone locally. Thank you.:kisses3:

grandma247

Popperwell wrote: »

Mrslurcherwalker and meme30,

I think I am holding up quite well as things considering as you say its early days and some people do think you should be ok within a few weeks(they probably have not gone through such an experience themselves)

They either have not gone through it or they did not really like the person they lost.
It takes a minimum of a year before you begin to feel the pieces are being put together again and there are things which are common to everyone who grieves that you must go through and anger is one of them.

Evie74_2

(((Hugs))) to you Popperwell. Take your time to grieve - as others have said, we all grieve in different ways. If it helps to "talk" on here, then please feel free to do so, I am sure everyone will offer whatever support they can, even if it's just to let you know we're thinking of you.

They say that time is a healer; well, I'm not sure if that's completely true, but in time the pain gets a bit less raw, and you find ways to deal with the day to day, which may seem impossible in the early days. Be kind to yourself.

Evie xx

westcoastscot

Popperwell, I understand your concerns about your own future - have you thought of Power of Attorney? that way you can have quite a lot of say in how you are treated down the line.

Happy birthday Byatt, and fantastic news Littlecal

Right off back to my knitting, WCS

Popperwell

That is so true Grandma247...

Also society today is too ready to move on so quickly. Of course it has to but there isn't the time given to individuals and their own circumstances to find their way and most of that is due to dealing with(employers who are less than understanding)or Government departments.

At this minute I am being left alone to some extent to find my way through the grief but I had some worrying times at the time I should not have such as soon as Mum had passed away. I know more will happen but for now, I am being allowed some peace and quiet.

xx

Mrs_Chip

Popperwell - We lost MiL in 2008 (we lived with her and had looked after her in one way or another for years) and my mum in 2010, so I know how hard it is to come to terms with the loss not only of someone you love but the loss of a focus in life.

Both mums were dealt a very poor hand by the NHS and Social Services, and in my mum's case my father, which has caused no end of resentment for both me and OH. All I can say is somehow you get through and things become easier. No one can tell you when or how you will start to feel like you are coming out the other side, and you might not know yourself.

I think about both of them every day, sometimes in a sad (and have a little cry) way but often it is fond memories of good times. I am sure you will come to a time when the smiles outdo the tears xx

Popperwell

westcoastscot wrote: »

Popperwell, I understand your concerns about your own future - have you thought of Power of Attorney? that way you can have quite a lot of say in how you are treated down the line.

That's a thought...

Evie74 wrote: »

(((Hugs))) to you Popperwell. Take your time to grieve - as others have said, we all grieve in different ways. If it helps to "talk" on here, then please feel free to do so, I am sure everyone will offer whatever support they can, even if it's just to let you know we're thinking of you.

They say that time is a healer; well, I'm not sure if that's completely true, but in time the pain gets a bit less raw, and you find ways to deal with the day to day, which may seem impossible in the early days. Be kind to yourself.

Evie xx

I think that is how things will be in time, we never truely forget but hopefully I can let go...

[Deleted User]

POPPERWELL - don't you worry about us, we're tough old birds and the only thing you have to do is go forward and find your balance again. Part of that process is actually saying what you feel and having the concerns about your future is very human, we've all been there and really do know how it feels. One day it will not be so dark for you and you'll gradually come to terms with all that has happened but, as others have said 'tis early days yet - until you do find the light again talk to us - we're always here for you, and we'll always listen. Cheers Lyn x.