A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

elizabunny

oops sorry had no wish to upset anyone with my personal view of NHS, because they are just my views and everyone else has there's. To be absolutely honest though, one of the hospitals named above saved my late Dad's life when he had cancer.

I really understand that everyone's experiences are different and feel so sad for those who have had bad experiences. I was only being honest about my experience.

scrabbles_2

Nope, was not upset and I hope I did not upset you either!

Just making the point that my view was not really an opposing one at all, just that you can think the NHS is a Very Good Thing but still express misgivings about some things that happen within it. I have had some hair-raising things happen to me in hospital over the last year and I have made more than one complaint to my NHS trust about things that I have seen happen. But that doesn't mean I hate the NHS or want it abolished.

elizabunny

scrabbles wrote: »

Nope, was not upset and I hope I did not upset you either!

Just making the point that my view was not really an opposing one at all, just that you can think the NHS is a Very Good Thing but still express misgivings about some things that happen within it. I have had some hair-raising things happen to me in hospital over the last year and I have made more than one complaint to my NHS trust about things that I have seen happen. But that doesn't mean I hate the NHS or want it abolished.

^^^no probs:) x

Of course we all have different experiences and even those wth positive outcomes, may have had some less than postive outcomes at times.

meme30

Approved order arrived! Was just like Christmas! :T ....poor deluded fool that I am!:rotfl:
Only problem is that I have found more things I could be buying!:)

Bigjenny

jackel wrote: »

Hi Does anyone know where I can buy shoe dye these days ? Have searched in Supermarkets, Wilkinsons, Pound type shops with no luck. Have two pairs of odd coloured leather shoes which would dye and desperately need a black pair. Thanks in advance to anyone who can help. Jac x

Hi Jackel

I was in Timpsons today and notice that they sell Dylon Shoe Dye, if you don't have one near you have you tried eb*y.

HTH

Byatt

Ok, I'll start again and hope to keep this [STRIKE]novel[/STRIKE]...post short.



Mrs C, our dog adores my DD and loves being around her. She really takes care of her, spoils her, but the last couple of weeks DD has been poorly and what with the bad weather has not taken dog out for walks so much. Seems pooch was "stir crazy" according to support worker (SW), but dog is almost 12, has cancer and is easily tired, although she still thinks she's a pup. She's a boxer so well know for their hyper behaviour. I was told DD could not cope with herself let alone dog and general stuff like that was said. I would love to have the dog with me all the time, she has always been my baby, it's a bit of a standing joke and DD always calls me to reassure me dog is ok. I would never leave dog there if I thought my DD couldn't look after her. Anyway, the reason she has the dog is because DD is lonely and dog keeps her company. It seems however that SW see all the bad things about having the dog and not the good things. It's always been an issue and for some reason I am held responsible



I set up my cat sitting business last year and in order for me to be able to work I need DD to have the dog on those occasions. I live in usually for the sitting. I had both dogs and a cat when ex left and he never contributed, so despite everything, I have always looked after out pets well. I felt criticised to be honest.:(


As for DD living separately, that is a saga in itself. So will try to be brief. After ex left she really went off the rails, was not happy when we had to move to a small town (the only place where I could rent at that time), and we had a lot of drama including her going off/meeting men she had made contact with on the internet. One day she asked me to pick her up from the bus station in a town 25 miles away, and I drove there and couldn't find her. I was beside myself with worry, she wouldn't answer the phone, so I called the police. Turns out she was on a bus, she actually saw me at the station and hid (I have no idea why), with a man she had recently met. Somehow traced her or the police did, I was beside myself with worry, and the police spoke to her and found out she had gone willingly and did not want to come home. This was at a time when I was supposed to be buying a place for us both but she told me she wouldn't come and live with me. I pulled out of the sale as I needed her income to help get the mortgage. Anyway, needless to say, she returned home eventually as I guess she or the man had had enough. Then she met a man who lived with his parents and she moved in with him within days. Moved her stuff out without telling me. This man was a real piece of work but she was besotted with him, and he stayed with her because she was going to get social housing. However SW told him he couldn't move in with her until a set time. He earned very good money but sponged off her (and hit her but I didn't find out till he left) until he realised he wasn't going to get his hands on her home so left her for her friend. That in itself was months and months of upset .I lived at her place for weeks off and on. Then she met some people who took her stuff saying she had sold it to them, and another man conned her out of her savings. This is just the tip of the ice berg.


SW's at first said she was doing well, but just before Xmas a new SW decided she wasn't coping (which I had been saying all along) and wanted to move her into shared housing. That is apparently not happening now. We have meetings after meetings and boxes are ticked and targets set but nothing changes. She has been assessed for extra support which she has to pay for, but still nothing is in place. It's now February and I am no further forward.

I don't know how it would work if we lived together. They tell me that she relies too much on me and then SW's want me to go to medical appointments and help with shopping. I also have to find work. (my business is very slow growing). I don't know how any employer is going to accommodate what I have to deal with. I am going to a dieticians appointment next week that DD made. SW said it was a good thing (she is very obese and it is worrying), and will be sending another SW too so we can all give our input. :mad: The thing is, we go to the dietician, my dd gets told what she needs to do, is given a booklet on food portions and then goes home, puts it on the table and never looks at it again! I have spent hours and hours talking with her, showing her what a portion is, buying scales' and small plates and it gets me nowhere. It's hard enough for anyone to diet, but for DD, with the autism it is sooo difficult,. I spend most weekends with her. It is a 50 mile round trip and the petrol costs are killing me.



I don't even think the SW's would approve of us living together. And what happens if she meets a man again?
So on Tuesday I will go to hers, ready for the dietician on Wednesday, that is 2 days taken up with travelling, hanging around, seeing people. And I wouldn't mind if it got us somewhere but it doesn't.

I am constantly worried and trying to make her life better. I feel on edge all the time. I have no life of my own. I know that sounds melodramatic but it's true. I can't go away anywhere on my own. She hates not knowing where I am, and even when she does she does things to sabotage any enjoyment. Not deliberately, well in a way, but she always has some crisis or drops a bombshell on me. Even when I was cat sitting last year I was spending hours on the phone reassuring her and dealing with problems. I was only 6 miles away from where I live.



So sorry, this has gone on for ever. My ex is a useless article. He does all the good things, going out, spending money and doesn't have to deal with any of this. he never dealt with any of it when we were together. Didn't keep it short did I?! :o


I'd forgotten loads of this stuff. Till I started writing.

edit to add; I of course love her dearly, and I get upset because I know she is not happy and she is lonely. I would give anything for her to be happy.

Mrs_Chip

The NHS dealt with my dad's bowel cancer in brilliantly, diagnosed and operated in 3 weeks, and I had great treatment when I had my op. But then there is how my mum and MIL were treated. And the geriatric wards were a terrible eye-opener. We saw some awful things in the hours we spent in there.

Bobbykins

Byatt, hun, I'm sorry I have nothing helpful to contribute but just wanted to let you know I really feel for you. You are having it all piled on your shoulders and being so incredibly strong. Sending you positive vibes and big hugs ((HUG)).
Bobby

Byatt

Bobbykins, thanks so much; it is appreciated.

On a lighter note, I popped into the recycling shop we have in our town earlier, as I love to look around. It makes me wonder why I used to always want to buy new when I see the lovely furniture you can get at a fraction of the cost. Anyway, I spent £2.50 which satisfied the urge to spend, spend, spend...on a little pyrex dish with lid, (I love old pyrex), a tupperware box with lid and a biscuit tin from France commemorating the D day landings. I find small tins really useful for storing medicines and they look so much prettier.

Anyway, off to have a late lunch/early dinner and then I will catch up with the posts. Oh got reduced finest burgers in Mr T's. I was debating on whether to buy when the SA came around to reduce further and I asked if he could do it straight away which he did. He was dressed up in a Buddy Holly outfit and I have no idea why!

grandma247

Byatt you should have a chat with mooloo. her latest thread is here and the one before that is here. There are a couple of earlier ones but you will need to search for them or ask her for the link.She has twins with Autism and she too could write a book about the help she and her girls do not get.