A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

D&DD

Aw Byatt I truly do understand totally where you are coming from I cannot understand why there is not more supported housing schemes for young adults with Autism.
Although many outwardly are appearing to cope its in no way ideal to not have some sort of warden there to supervise/support as needed.I know my son needs [STRIKE]nagging[/STRIKE] prompting to do just about anything for himself and its all too easy when left to their own devices for them to just 'exist' IYKWIM

At least social services are involved so there may be some help forthcoming..but as you no doubt have found already over the years them saying and then actually DOING something are 2 different things entirely!

Have you contacted NAS to see if there are any supported housing projects closer to you?? I think this would be the way to go,some houseshare with houseparents and others are semi independent (like warden supported self contained).
There is a website called PARIS which *I think* may have lists for these.

My boy is only 13 and I'm already worrying for his future,people don't always 'get' our kids and the level of help they sometimes need as they look so perfect :A

Sending you a huge hug as you are a wonderful Mum and doing the best you can sweetie thats all any of us can do XXX

Mrs_Chip

Hi Byatt

There seems to be such a lot in there, no wonder you don't know where to start. If it were me, I think I would be at my wits end too, so it's not reflection on you at all! And for the SWs the fact that you are there they think you can do some of their job for them. You have to ask what they would be doing if you were not around? How would they deal with DD situation then? It seems to me they can't have it both ways - either they want you to support DD more or they want you to allow her to support herself - it is not fair of them to not give you very clear guidance on what you should be doing.

I am sure there are many more on here with relevant experience who can give you good advice and help, this is one I have no personal experience of so all my thoughts and ideas are just that, but please feel free to rant and ramble as much as you like, you never know between us all we might find some solutions!

EstherH

So sorry BYATT. I don't know how you cope. You're doing a wonderful job. I don't have anything to contribute either but didn't want to read and run.

Esther x

D&DD

http://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

Here's the link Byatt XX

Theres allsorts on there I know you've probably seen it all before but sometimes new providers pop up

Grandma forgot to say love the sound of your concoction might have to dig out a can of corned beef specially!

Byatt

You are all so kind. I don't expect answers but somehow you all seem to come up trumps, and it was a huge relief just to let it all out; as I said I had "forgotten" so much of what has happened. I do try and move forward, and my love for my DD, well, I am always glad she is in my life despite everything. Like you said Mrs Chip, it's not knowing what role they expect from me.

xxxxxxx

scrabbles_2

Byatt (((hug))) You didn't need to add in that last bit about loving her and wanting her to be happy. Anyone could tell reading all that that you love her dearly and always will.

It sounds like the social workers keep on moving the goalposts. I don't know much about it but could you put how you feel about this into a letter, send a copy to social services dept and a copy to your MP? From what I gather MPs have a LOT of influence and may get the SWs to sit up a bit if they know someone is watching what they're doing? It's not fair the way they keep flip-flopping, nor them blaming you for things they should be doing.

[Deleted User]

BYATT - you are a teriffic Mum doing all that you can in a very difficult set of circumstances - Hold your head up petal if anyone deserves to you do!

LavenderBees

Hi, Byatt

really sorry to read your post. I can now well understand why you are so upset and at your wits end on what you can do to help (even more).

I wish I had a magic wand to help you. I know so little about autism, and probably what I'm about to suggest is not practical - does your DD have any friends? Is there anywhere safe for her to go to meet people her own age who could be trusted with her?

I certainly hope that the SWs aren't pointing fingers at you. It sounds like you are doing (and have done) everything humanly possible to keep her safe and healthy.

I know you were thinking of going walking. Would DD join you if the weather was nice? Just thinking this would maybe help with her feeling down and be good gentle exercise too.

It certainly sounds tough for you at the moment, though. Really sorry.

xx

P.S. I'd have had to ask "Buddy" why he was dressed up. With my luck, he'd probably have been offended as he always dressed like that!:rotfl:

Seakay

katieowl wrote: »

Gums...try getting some Gingigel gel. Boots sell it. It does help, my mum suggested it to me. I had appalling toothache a few months ago, and the dentist says it's my gums not my teeth. Corsidol made it worse for me, so I'm using another mouthwash now, I really must look into making some myself using some essential oils (James Wong has a recipe).

But the Gingigel did soothe them - it's not cheap mind you, but it was three for two when I bought it.

Kate

Ginigel also available on Amazon.



Found the James Wong mouthwash recipe online:


GREEN TEA, LIQUORICE & LEMON MOUTHWASH

For the tincture:
2 liquorice sticks
5 tsp green tea leaves
About 200ml vodka, or to cover
For the mouthwash:
2-4 tsp green tea leaves
8 drops lemon essential oil
1 tsp glycerine
To make the tincture:
Peel the liquorice into shavings as you would a carrot, using a very sharp vegetable peeler. Combine with the first quantity of tea leaves (5 tsp) in a glass jar. Add enough vodka to cover the herbs completely. Cover and keep in a cool dark place for 10-14 days. Then strain the mixture, reserving the liquid.
To make the mouthwash:
Using 2-4 tsp green tea leaves, make up a pot of green tea and leave to stand for 2-3 minutes. Strain a 200ml measure of the green tea, then pour this into the liquorice tincture to dilute it. (When you do this, the tea should be no hotter than 80-90°C/176-194°F - definitely not boiling.) Stir in the lemon essential oil and glycerine and bottle.
USE: Use as a mouthwash/gargle once a day as needed. Do not swallow.
CAUTION: Contains alcohol.
STORAGE: Will keep for 6 months in the refrigerator.

scrabbles_2

I have the James Wong books if anyone ever wants any recipes looking up