A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

Byatt

LavenderBees wrote: »

Hi, Byatt

really sorry to read your post. I can now well understand why you are so upset and at your wits end on what you can do to help (even more).

I wish I had a magic wand to help you. I know so little about autism, and probably what I'm about to suggest is not practical - does your DD have any friends? Is there anywhere safe for her to go to meet people her own age who could be trusted with her?

I certainly hope that the SWs aren't pointing fingers at you. It sounds like you are doing (and have done) everything humanly possible to keep her safe and healthy.

I know you were thinking of going walking. Would DD join you if the weather was nice? Just thinking this would maybe help with her feeling down and be good gentle exercise too.

It certainly sounds tough for you at the moment, though. Really sorry.

xx

P.S. I'd have had to ask "Buddy" why he was dressed up. With my luck, he'd probably have been offended as he always dressed like that!:rotfl:

Yes, I hope DD will be able to join me in walking. She has friends, but they are somewhat scattered now and have disbailities of their own. She is very social and loves going out and talking. And she has been part of social groups but as she's getting older, she's less inclined to go.

As for Buddy, I have to say when he sidled up to me, all I noticed was how cheap the suit was, and I thought is this the new uniform for Mr T?! :rotfl: I didn't know he was Buddy Holly, but heard him tell someone else...I later spotted a woman in 50's clothes, and left feeling very baffled. As far as I could see they were the only ones dressed up...well down really. :rotfl: The shop is not known for its frivolity!

Thanks again for all the lovely support. :A

Hobsons_Choice

Byatt, I can't offer anything constructive, I'm sorry. But reading your post made me want to scream at officialdom that does absolutely beggar all to help folk - when that should be the aim of the job.
It's your beloved daughter and you have to cope with things but I'm not sure I could, not without ending up without my sanity.
You really are stronger than you think, and a wonderful mother. I hope all this comes to a happy end soon.

hornetgirl

Was it on 3rd February by any chance Byatt? That's the anniversary of Buddy Holly's death I think.

jackel

Hi Lizzie, Bobbykins,Grey Queen and Big Jenny for your replies to my Shoe Dye 'problem' I really do appreciate your help and will explore all the options.Bobbykins, your info about the ironmongers was very interesting as we are just on the boarder with Cheshire so it isn't very far and I just love those sort of places . I particuarly appreciate you all taking trouble as so many of the 'gang' have so much more important matters to attend to. I very rarely pass comment or offer advice as I know there are many who are far more qualified to do so . This does not mean I do not take interest or feel sympathy with the problems people have, indeed I get very upset and angry with the way some of you have been treated by people or life in general. I am shure there are many like me who read and keep quiet but never the less DO care and are with you all the way.This is a great thread. I am so glad I am part of it.Thanks and best wishes to you all. jac x

kidcat

Byatt - ((hugs)) I dont know what to say, except to echo others in suggesting carers centre, NAS and any local autism organisations for help and support. Got to dash now and get kids bedded (OH at school disco) but will have a think and pop back later.

Remember my mantra - THis too will pass!!

scrabbles_2

jackel wrote: »

Hi Lizzie, Bobbykins,Grey Queen and Big Jenny for your replies to my Shoe Dye 'problem' I really do appreciate your help and will explore all the options.Bobbykins, your info about the ironmongers was very interesting as we are just on the boarder with Cheshire so it isn't very far and I just love those sort of places . I particuarly appreciate you all taking trouble as so many of the 'gang' have so much more important matters to attend to. I very rarely pass comment or offer advice as I know there are many who are far more qualified to do so . This does not mean I do not take interest or feel sympathy with the problems people have, indeed I get very upset and angry with the way some of you have been treated by people or life in general. I am shure there are many like me who read and keep quiet but never the less DO care and are with you all the way.This is a great thread. I am so glad I am part of it.Thanks and best wishes to you all. jac x

Jackel, everyone's questions and chitchat are valid. Sometimes other stuff does get lost in the mire but I know it's not intentional. I know how you mean when you don't feel like you have anything constructive to say - I feel like that too and I daresay sometimes I'm not all that helpful, but I feel that sometimes knowing people are thinking of you is enough. Hopefully anyway But this is a thread for everyone, and I do hope everyone feels a part of it! I've not phrased this very well have I?

D&DD

http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/residential-community-and-social-support/supported-living.aspx

Link here Byatt as a starting point might give you some ideas or contacts that may help X

Just had minted lamb chops with the rosti cakes,homegrown peas,sprouts and cauli so am officially stuffed now..might squeeze a bit of mince tart and custard in later though

I'm itching to get started in the garden but its too damn cold *and snowy* :rotfl:

I have waaay too many seeds for our tiny patch I need a couple of fields on loan!

Had another appointment through for DS2 so its looking like after his checks in March he'll be going in around April/May for his op,bit of a pain as he's crossed over to an adult under the Brompton..he's only just turned 17 !

elona

jackel

I just had a look at the Amazon website - if you type in shoe dye, quite a few different brands and colours come up to choose from from about £3.99 upwards.

Hope this helps.

Hugs to Byatt and the catch 22 situation she has been put in.

scrabbles

I think you put it very well!!!

Byatt

scrabbles wrote: »

Jackel, everyone's questions and chitchat are valid. Sometimes other stuff does get lost in the mire but I know it's not intentional. I know how you mean when you don't feel like you have anything constructive to say - I feel like that too and I daresay sometimes I'm not all that helpful, but I feel that sometimes knowing people are thinking of you is enough. Hopefully anyway But this is a thread for everyone, and I do hope everyone feels a part of it! I've not phrased this very well have I?

I think you phrased it very well. and I second it; Jackel as Scrabble says eveyone's chitchat is valid. I have just had a bad 24 hours but will recover and I love all the chat on here and learn so much. I for one don't expect people to have solutions but it just helps to have a hug and know there is the support.
:A

Hornetgirl, it was today.

Seakay

Jackel - I have also found shoe dye in some arts and crafts suppliers where they also sell fabric dye.

Byatt - the SW are not concerned for you, only for your daughter. You need to get your role clarified. As she is living independently I assume that you are not her registered carer? In which case the SWs have no business assuming that you have any offical role to play in her day to day care. They are trying to have it both ways - relying on you to pick up the pieces and yet not including you properly in plans for her.
I suggest that a visit to your CAB might be useful, to find out what your daughter is entitled to and to find out why they are having a go at you when they are treating your daughter as an independent adult.