A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

3v3

Oh dear! The curse of "The Jones" is alive an well in the Millennium by the sounds of it.

- big presents = more love?
- toothfairy = a tenner (sounds like the ladies need a Tena!)?
- John Lewis hampers over homemade?

Two things:
Wisdom 1: why are we worrying/giving power to those who mean nowt to us? They can think what they like and will! We don't have to let them get under our skin
Wisdom 2: people who are flash/snobby about monetary things are sending out one clear message: M.A.T.E.R.I.A.L.I.S.M If you want to live a life of materialistic value, that's fine. I prefer heartfelt human kindness myself, you won't find that in any store with a gilt/branded wrapping.

And on that note, I'm making some cards for my closest neighbours tonight because 1) I like to make cards, it relaxes me; 2) I like to give something that you cannot buy in any store and 3) because I can Does that mean I dislike shop bought cards I receive? Not a bit of it, I appreciate that someone thought I was worthy

Reverbe

mardatha wrote: »

Make it with water then pour single cream on top when you eat it

doesnt this defeat the point of money saving make it with water???

Mrs_Chip

Fuddle - 3v3 has given us some very wise words. The only one who can decide what will hurt and what will not is you - and through you, your children. Don't let mean-mindedness on the part of others get you down!


Reverbe - I make with all water then add a little cold milk poured over for a delicious hot/cold contrast - but it is much much less milk that if I made it with milk. Fussy OH cannot tell difference!

3v3

GreyQueen wrote: »

.... Spent more calls talking to benefit claimants, some of whom won't have any money for Christmas because they lost their work recently and there hasn't been time since to process their claims and I've has people literally crying down the phone. I've been the one on benefits, and know I could easily be back there, and it cuts me up inside that people are suffering so much. ...

I really do hope that you are able to mention *cough*MSE*cough* when you are speaking to them? We can't always help people with food/rent/money ... but we can empower them with a means to find advice/alternatives. Free internet access at libraries.

Wish there had been free internet and an MSE forum when I was in a homeless hostel with wee bairns over Christmas through to March. I just know I would have made wiser choices.

Just a thought

Fruball

katz03 wrote: »

Just wanted to say what a great forum and brilliant thread!!!

I'm new to MSE and how glad I've found it.

I had my hours reduced from 4 days to 3 day last year and we were able to cope - needed to be careful and got rid of my car and now share DH's motor (not that he's happy about it but hey ' need to economise dear':rotfl:)

Just had my hours reduced by a further 20% - hopefully just for 2 months but really depends on the companies sales picking up - added to which I've had to have time off for a couple of ops - need major surgery early next year when I will be off for 8 - 10 weeks SSP only - so getting very anxious about how we will manage.

Just wanted to say a huge thanks to you all who have posted some great tips and ideas on here - I will certainly be trying some of them.

And Fuddles - feel for you! Nothing worse than living in a snobby village. I live in a small market town and while we have our share of snobs we are fortunate to have more nicer down to earth REAL people too

:wave: welcome katz :wave:

Fuddle - take absolutely no notice whatsoever. We all know people like that and we have to choose not to let them affect us. They aren't worthy of OUR friendship I find that smiling knowingly at these people, as if you know a secret of theirs, and keeping eye contact just a second more than they expect, un-nerves them and unbalances their feeling of superiority

Reverbe

fuddle wrote: »

I was also earwigging into a conversation a couple of them were having about gift hampers. John Lewis and the like gift hampers would be realy good but homemade ones, nope, they are just for tightwads who can't be a*sed to go to the shops.
.

or sales assistants who dont have the time due to the relentless streams of punters that overcrowd their shops, or those who cant get to the shops for whatever reason..

redlady_1

How you kept your mouth shut is beyond me. I have found that if you actually confront these people they have no reply and then become the embarrassed ones, especially if you ask whether you have done something to offend them as they are being quite nasty. I would probably say something much worse in reality but then I am not known for my diplomacy skills.

Desperate_Housewife_2-2

welcome Katz02

Fuddle, dont let them bother you they sound horrible! It can get very 'power mum' round here and you just have to be careful not to get drawn into it.

I would rather be on my own (and I often am) than spend all day with these types of losers. People round here blank you all the time, cant understand it but I think it is the way of the world now...


As for xmas, I'm keeping calm and not overspending. My youngest said to me that she was glad the way we live our lives as a lot of kids at school seem to be very greedy and they come across as not nice. She told me today she doesnt care what she gets for xmas as long as we are all together and is looking forward to making the stuffing with me on xmas eve! bless!

mardatha

Me too RL, I'd have said "oh what a catty horrible thing to say!" really loudly and watch all the lower jaws dropping onto the floor.

fuddle

You all rally round like no other I really like the little talk about the young tooth fairy only being able to carry a smaller, special amount just for my daughter. That is such a lovely way to put it. I do need to say something as it has unsettled her.

Materialism 3v3. That is the word I was looking for this morning when commenting on capitalism. I couldn't find it though but makes absolute sense. We live in an era where possessions make you in some people's eyes. We also live in a time where you must not get ideas above your station.... do not walk in the school yard in higher boots than me or my group will stare you up and down. Walk around in trainers and we'll leave you alone. Small minded and yeah, I am learning to ignore and move on.

I would never stand up to any of them. I'm not confident enough and wouldn't want to give them any satisfaction that they bother me. It doesn't want me stop wanting poking their smart asssssses with a pointy stick though

Spoken to DH on the phone and he had a good idea. He reckons I am who I am, like doing what I do and although crocheting, nearly tea-total, a baker and breadmaker and charity shop frock wearer isn't the ideal of a 32 year old in my village (unless you're a yummy mummy and your face fits in that circle, which I'm not) then go further a field and mix with people who I have in common with. He thinks I should look at joining the WI in my town. I'm not totaly poopooing the idea, I quite like it actually but wonder whether there will be a bit of snobbery in that circle too. Definitely going to do some research and think about it. It might be just what I need.