A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

susan6780

Byatt wrote: »

Sorry for the long moan.

I did go out and get oats today, so will be making porridge for myself and pooch who because of age, has a funny digestive syste, and porridge settles it.

Please moan away if it makes you feel better,I suffer anxiety and have abandonement issues so when I'm not feeling too good I shall ask a million times if you think my husband will leave me? He says a million times that he won't! but it doesnt stop me from not being able to breathe! Now we can moan together!

I think you should put your worries into a letter to the council,at least then there's a record of your thoughts instead of relying on someone else to report them,when they might get into trouble for them IYSWIM? Have I said that before? My concentration is roooobarsh!

Gailey how are you doing?

Katie how is your friend doing?

Well I shall get back into the box for a few hours,I'm planning a trip to the local grocers tomorrow,I shall look for oats!!!!:rotfl::rotfl:

SpikyHedgehog

Errant Husband phoned last night & was talking about how much money he hasn't got (mainly because the girlfriend doesn't work & thinks that because he does she can spend like there's no tomorrow...) & has told me that the presents I've got for our boys will be from me and him :mad:.

I've been saving & getting things as I've seen them so I can give gifts to all I want to give gifts to, although downscaled from last year (and if anyone doesn't understand that my sole income means less to spend on their gift, they can go without next year). He still owes me the money from DS1's birthday last month & I basically told him if he can't afford to get them presents, then they won't get presents... We have already bought DS2 a bike between us (£50 form A$da), so I was expecting DS1's big present to be from us both too, but am not happy with the idea of him saying it's all from us both.

And then I start to feel I'm being petty, I don't want to spoil the boys' first Christmas without him with a row, and I can afford what I've got them or I wouldn't have got it.

Tink, when we moved from private rent to a HA house around the corner, our old next-door-neighbours lost all interest in us, we'd still see them as we are in the same area, but she barely speaks to us. He will say hello & ask how we are, but that's it... For some people, where you live is very important. On the other hand, I had a friend move away last year & kept meaning to get in contact, and after a while I found it so hard to try to make the first contact. I did phone her last week & she was so pleased to hear from me - and I had to tell her I'd phoned to tell her a mutual friend had died. I'd be inclined to send a jolly card with the message that you'd love to meet up, if they want to come to you X or Y are good dates, or let you know when's good for them. And then leave the ball in their court.

Byatt

Cat501 wrote: »

I'm inclined to think, no response, no present - unless you find out that they've had a good reason for not being in touch - illness or something. You're certainly not a bad friend!

eta, Byatt you are clearly a much nicer person than me!

No, not nicer I just feel that I will not let someone else decide my behaviour, and if I had prepared a gift and *wanted* to give it to them despite their behaviour, then I would. The next time however, I would not give anything, because whilst I appear to be a walkover, I'm not. Hope that makes sense. I know my written words often do not translate well from my thoughts.

Hi dizzypink, believe me, your children will remember being together as a family; presents are not what it's about and they sound like they have been brought up well; considerate and caring. A happy parent is more important to them. Play some board games; or pass the parcel...charades with silly prizes. :A

Susan, yes, I will get a letter together and no you didn't say it before; I don't think so anyway!

edit: spiky, no way would I be happy saying *all* the presents are from husband and you. He just wants to be the good dad without the effort. I don't think you are being petty at all.

Cat501

Makes absolute sense Byatt

I do like the idea of giving the hamper to a care home or neighbour though, it sounds a lovely gift

susan6780

Can I leave you all with a joke?

What does an upset rodent send at Christmas?

Cross mouse cards!!!!

Ok I'll get me coat...........

Softstuff

dizzypink wrote: »

Hi folks, new girl requesting to join. Polite, house broken and love softstuffs recipes.:D

Cant believe how bad things are at the moment. We are having to make some really tough decisions at the moment. Not easy but we have to do it.
The kids ( 4 of them) have been brilliant this year, none of them want much, DD17 offered to have her present next month if it helped. Compared to previous years the gifts will look pathetic, I know they will be happy, its just to me I feel I have let them down because OH and I have been so rubbish with money.
Feeling a bit sorry for myself.Sorry folks.........robbing one card to pay another as hubs didnt tell me he hadnt been able to pay 2 of the cc for a couple of months. He didnt want to worry me:eek:

Dizzy

Glad you've delurked.
As for the money situation, there's plenty of help on here. You could always post a state of affairs and people here would be able to give you some help how to reduce your outgoings and get rid of the credit cards. Here on the OS board we can get your grocery bill down.

You can take back control of your finances and get them to balance, no matter how dodgy it looks right now.

xx

mardatha

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-16255661

For those of us who were discussing taking vitamin D this is interesting.

mardatha

Oh just reading back and falling about giggling :rotfl::rotfl: Imagine that people can so openly snobby to ignore you because you moved !! Like suddenly you're not the same person any more, with the same set of values and attributes that the neighbours or friends liked in you before but that have suddenly changed because of the house you live in ? If that was me I'd be bloody glad I'd moved away frim the silly sods.
And GQ, I agreee totally re the residents meetings but I'd have to be gagged and removed by security I think
Some people should remember that we are all gods children (if yer christian) or all Jock Tamsons bairns (if yer Scots)
Or all in this together if yer a Tory :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

fuddle

Good morning everyone

What a nice morning it is not having to get up to do the school run...... chilled, all of us.

Welcome dizzypink

Re: snobbery and friendship. I feel it too, both in my village as I'm not from here, my face doesn't fit so I'm ignored. I'm not bothered as I like peace and quiet and in my own little world but I do get annoyed at the rudeness of not even a smile when you walk past the locals. And friendship? Massive snobbery. I have mentioned that we have lost our house in the past. It was a new build, albeit small but now we live in private rented in an old street, in an old house. I have lost many friends, although I don't see how they deserve that title as they were never friends really, friends wouldn't base a friendship on what possessions you appear to have. Sometimes I feel very lonely, in a village where no one will speak (I have my friend over the road who is also an outsider so not completely alone) and feel the loss of the life and friends I once had. I'm into my 3rd year of living here, like this. I am determined to smarten myself up and 'get out there' in the new year. I don't want to show them anything, but I want to show myself that I am more than just a housewife and mum. Do you need friendships? I quite like being on my own but the feeling of being snubbed hurts sometimes.


Anyway! The little people and I are going to make some mince pies today. We're donning our wellies and heading over the fields with the dog and then off to the library for the girls to make Christmas Crafts. I'll pick up some sugar and get on with making my ginger wine compound my grandad always made that Christmas.

Ah, Christmas. I have to admit GQ I am irritated by the feeling of gifts of higher monetary value = more love. I'm forgetting about other people's behaviour and going to enjoy my family this week, in the run up to Christmas. Spend time with them. Make things with them. Laugh and joke with them. I am concerned about coping with the shopping trip to get our Christmas lunch items. It is going to be very stressful and that is what I don't like. It will spoil my mood and get deflate my Christmas spirit. Ergh, rushing drivers, selfish drivers nipping into a space you're heading for, frantic people trying to get to shelves and get impatient with you and your trolley. I do not like the Christmas food shop.

Edited to add, I have upped my direct debit to the gas company. I'm being proactive in sorting that out. Knowledge and acceptance = control and feelings of calm.

lizzyb1812

Having read lots of scary stories about private landlords I think I'd prefer the stability of an HA as a landlord. Housing snobbery is so ridiculous - I've nearly paid off the mortgage on my 1920's terraced house but someone I know of the same age with a huge mortgage seems to think I'm inferior because my house is smaller/less modern than hers :eek:

In other news, today I will be looking for a suitable knob to glue on to my microwave door as the catch is releasing but not pushing the door open so I can't get to my completely murdered porridge. And with this Christmas sorted I need to take GQ's advice and get planning next year's homemade goodies - I always forget that they don't take much money but they do take time!

Fuddle - re living in a village. I used to feel like you but at some point decided I would be friendly even if others wouldn't. A short period of saying "good morning" and smiling at everyone and chatting with the staff in the local shops worked wonders. People are just wary of the unknown - they don't know you so they don't know how to react.