Anyone else hate the school run?

mummyoftwomonkeys

I sometimes walk my son in if we are up early enough or my husband drops him in, if Im not working I pick him up but we only moved to the area in April and the other mums all know each other and have never said a word to me not that Im bothered really after hearing what comes out of their mouths.

Cherry_Bomb

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Not so much hating the School run as the School Mums, isn't it?

Well yeah! When I said school run I didn't mean hating the actual walk to school

Nicki

I think some of us are struggling to see, based just on what you posted, that the remark WAS snide though, rather than a simple mistake.

If you work and don't do the school run often, how many times would this woman have seen you before and how long ago? She might genuinely not have remembered you, and if she didn't the obvious answer to being told that you aren't a new parent, would be to say, sorry I didn't recognise you as you don't do the school run very often, wouldn't it?

You remember HER because she asked you for coffee once, and probably she was the only parent who did. But if she is friendly and outgoing, she might have asked a dozen new parents she had never met before for coffee in the first few weeks and if she had barely seen them again since she might well not remember or recognise them.

What do parents talk about over coffee? Usually to begin with, what is happening in school. What after school clubs are worth signing up for, how much the school residential journey might cost this year, how much homework the children are getting/ should be getting, which teachers are good and which not so good being prime examples. Sometimes how they can help the school raise funds. DS's old school didn't have a PTA but mums would sometimes get together and organise a cake sale or quiz night to raise funds for something the school needed. And as friendships form and people get to know each other better, the same kinds of things most people talk about socially - nights out, what they watched on TV, politics/current affairs, their relationships, etc

Cherry_Bomb

Nicki wrote: »

I really can't imagine why the other mums at school think you are unfriendly

I know! I didn't want/have time to go to coffee! I'm awful

Odd definition of a clique though, that they spot a new mum at the school gates and invite her to join them for coffee! Where I live, a clique would deliberately try to exclude a stranger and not try to get to know them.

Really? It's like they scan the playground looking for new members to sign up! You accept you're safe. Your IN the clique. You decline and that's you off the Christmas card list

It was your choice to keep a distance from these women because you assumed you would have nothing in common with them, so why are you now so concerned that they didn't immediately recognise you today and clasp you to their bosom.

I really don't remember saying I was concerned. It was quite funny really hence me laughing

For what its worth, I don't have a good memory for faces and wouldn't necessarily recognise a parent in my child's class if I had only met them once or twice, even if I did suggest on one of those occasions that they join a group of us for coffee. I need to meet people at least half a dozen times, or spend a decent amount of time with them when I first meet them, before I will recognise them again, as that is just the way my memory works. Strangely, I can remember people's names though even if I can't put a face to the name. So just because you recognised the woman, it doesn't follow that she instantly recognised you, and her opening remark might genuinely have been intended as a friendly overture to someone she thought was new rather than the !!!!!iness you took it for.

So the opening remark could have been her being friendly absolutely! Sadly the second remark let her down. But we'll ignore that one for now of course

I can't help noticing that on this thread the mums who have made an effort to get to know some of the school mums seem to have a happier time than those who have been standoffish from the start and now feel they have to hand back from the school pick up because they are not one of the crowd.

Personally I think it's become obvious those who enjoy the school run (calling me unfriendly etc) and those who don't enjoy the school run (contributing their own experiences of the dreaded school gates

Starting school can be as daunting for the parent as the child clearly, but as others have said it is worth investing a small amount of time in getting to know at least a few of the other parents, as they can be a useful network to have. That half an hour having coffee and talking about children which OP could not bear to spend might have been far more useful long term than she realised at the time, and would almost certainly have prevented the awkwardness today.

Definitely agree getting involved if you can. I tried chatting to people, smiling etc but by declining coffee I've been blacklisted. Big deal! I wasn't complaining about that! It was simply a jokey type thread about what happened today, that's all

Cherry_Bomb

Nicki I guess it's hard to convey via words on a screen but I guarantee the remark was snide

I've seen this particular woman quite a few times outside of school. She knows full well who I am (and I don't mean that in an arrogant everyone knows me type way, I just mean you know who you know and she 100% knows me, DS and OH)

From what you say about what mums talk about over coffee then yes I would have hated it. I'm just not one of those mums who wants to talk about child/school/teacher related things with other mums. That doesn't make me unfriendly nor does it mean I simply must turn up at the school gate cold as ice and unapproachable

Nicki

Thanks for clearing that up. Cos it doesn't come across as a jokey thread even though that's how you intended it . Perhaps in the same way that the woman at school may have made a joke, which didn't come across that way to you. Or as I suggested a genuine mistake.

Still I'm glad you aren't genuinely upset about it.

lilrahi

I do the morning run, hubby does afternoon and I don't like it a bit. Having to get up at 7am? Dear God, it's killing.

I just put on a pair of jeans, some Vaseline on my lips and if I can't be bothered to comb my hair (it's waist length and takes about half an hour to get all the knots out) I cover it with a scarf and pretend I've gone all religious. I'm a Muslim so probably can get away with that look

There's one or two I've talked to and we've exchanged numbers but there's others who obviously have better things to do than talk with the likes of me. Some of them will talk to you at the school gate but see them anywhere else and they ignore you so I know blank them at the school gates too.

But I think it takes a certain type of person to be able to strike up conversation and eventually friendship etc.... I'm very shy-ish in the regards I'll smile at someone but I'd wait for them to start speaking first. I suppose they might be waiting for me to speak and I'm waiting for them to speak and a lot of potential friendships are being waste in this way

*Louise*

I've never got involved in the cliques, mainly because I find it hard to make small talk, being quite shy, There are one or two who I will say hello to but I don't get involved in the coffee mornings and stuff. I probably should, I would know more about what's going on :cool:

Can't say they are all in ther best clothes and stuff though - I won't go out without a bit of make up on (don't want to scare the kiddies lol) but the majority are in comfortable clothing. I did see one mum turn up in her pyjams/dressing gown and slippers though......at 3pm and in the rain :rotfl:

tankgirl1

Person_one wrote: »

15 minutes putting make up on every morning?

That's 91 hours a year you could have stayed in bed!

:rotfl::T

I don't do make up either!

Not read all the thread, but there is a clique at our school - which I cunningly avoid via a turnip and the pooch! (Bad Blackadder reference.... anyone called BOB?)

Can't stand the clique - what bugs me even more is the 2 cars who feel it is their god given right to park on the yellow zigzags every day!!! They never seem to be there when the community PCO's are about though - grrrr!

Buttonmoons

I finish work at 6am, and have to get back up out my bed at 8am, I don't put make up on, hair gets put in a horrible bun, but I always wear boots and a dress - cause I don't wear trousers - always have had an odd issue with them. So I've had women looking me up and down, as if to say what the hell is she wearing, but hey ho, I kinda feel the same when they are standing their in star spangled pyjamas and ugg combo

I do speak to a few mums in my daughters class, I just don't associate with anyone else in the playground, or leave early to talk to anyone :eek: Sounds horrendous.