unfairness in school. rant

meritaten

Emmarillo wrote: »

This definitely goes on at my daughters school too. The same few children for everything and no exceptions. Like the OP I don't expect/want my child to be chosen for everything but the off thing would be nice. Again like Op the chosen few seem to be the offspring of PTA/ Governor parents who call the head by his first name (loudly) in the playground, accompanied with air kissing :eek:

My eldest, overlooked for everything in Primary School because although she is incredibly polite, she's very quiet; is finding secondary school completely different.

LOL - doesnt everyone present start gagging? or taking the mick by loudly air kissing too?
ER - I assume you mean the parents and NOT the kids?

mumps

The nativity is a classic one, being Mary being the big prize for the mothers, I always thought the little girls liked the angel costumes best. At the school my eldest went to they have a brilliant scheme, Year 2 did the nativity so 30 six and seven year olds. We had a fantastic set of costumes so all the kids looked great and the parts went like this, tallest dark haried girl was Mary, tallest blonde girl was the star, tallest dark haired boy was Joseph, tallest fair haired boy was Angel Gabriel. I can't remember the whole list but something like next boy was inn keeper, next three kings etc. It was so fair as no one could say they had been unfairly picked or left out.

Different story at the school my two younger ones went to, there was one family lets call them The Creeps. They always had the lead role in everything. One year a friends little girl said Jane is Mary in the nativity, her mother said loudly, "Of course she is, her name's Creep isn't it?" Parents were falling around laughing, the Head looked a bit uncomfortable but nothing changed. There was a real clique at the school, I called them the school gate !!!!!.

Sorry OP, don't think you can do much, some schools are like this but good luck with it.

gratefulforhelp_2

I'm a school governor, and I would be happy for the school to just do it's job...nevermind picking my kids for anything.

bestpud

This seemed to happen at DD's school too, but I think it was because they knew a certain group of parents would be happy to transport their children and/or do whatever was necessary to make sure they were where they were supposed to be.

Also, some parents were CRB checked through the school, so were able to transport other children and were available during school hours.

They did tend to be on the PTA, but I think a lot of these events are arranged last minute, and it's just easier to go for a family they can contact quickly and rely on.

For the annual events, I think there is no excuse for choosing the same children every time.

Emmarillo

meritaten wrote: »

LOL - doesnt everyone present start gagging? or taking the mick by loudly air kissing too?
ER - I assume you mean the parents and NOT the kids?

Lol, the parents, which is bad enough! Yes, people definitely gag and snigger when it happens, it's a mixture of hilarious and sick-making. I'm just really grateful that my youngest has two more terms before moving to a school where she will be judged on her own merits, rather than whether MY face fits. She still might not be chosen for anything, but somehow it will be different.

luxor4t

luxor4t wrote: »

There were always "golden children" (my friend's name for them) when our kids were in Primary ... .

Person_one wrote: »

I think its far more likely that the children with the loudest, most annoying, pushiest parents are the ones that get to do this sort of thing. Or the ones with family members among the staff or governors .....

I should have added, we were both on the PTA, were both Governors at different times & I worked in the school for a while .... I must have been doing something VERY wrong (no ) or had an exceptionally fair Head (Yes, :T).

Ravenlady_2

Could it be that these children that always keep getting picked have a very active role in the school such as Head girl/boy, mentor younger pupils, maybe they are on the school student counsel, library prefects, have a astounding amounts of merits or house points, have won competitions for the school through sports etc etc.

If you think it is favouritism then go and speak to the head but there could be very good reasons why these children in particular are always chosen.

nibs

My eldest DS was a 'golden child'
I have no idea why as he was a typical lad, very popular and very sporty.
I think it was his personality tbh.
My other two weren't favoured by any teachers.
So it clearly had nothing to do with our attendance at church/donations to school/involvement with school activities.
Thats life though and something we have to accept as it happens in adulthood too.

Welshwoofs

denton6 wrote: »

There are a lot of well behaved children in the school, so they have plenty to choose from, even some of the children who arnt always the best behaved in my opion should be given the chance. a quick photo for the newspaper would not be past any of the childrens ability..

They pick the attractive, out-going ones.

If I were a school head and one of the kids was going to represent my school and have their photo in the paper I'd pick a pretty kid who was well dressed, polite and whom I could be reasonably assured wouldn't do something dumb.

It does a child no favours to let them believe that life is all fair and everything is shared out proportionately and that everyone has equal opportunity because that sure as hell isn't the case.

Glitzkiss

My nephew was regularly picked to represent his primary school in the local paper simply because the photographer knew he was a little poser who would start smiling as soon as the camera appeared thus giving her an easy time. She realised quickly my niece was not from the same mould and only chose her once in 7 years.

Mind you, nephew is now a teenager and we don't expect to see a smile from him for at least another 3-4 years so that's his "celeb" career temporary on hold