OS Daily Thread for Monday 21st November

taplady

Beth - slow down a bit or you'll be fit for nothing! practise saying no occasionally and think of yourself. x x x x

monnagran

Beth, when your children were young, did you have anyone who took them over when things got tough? Did anyone come over to remove them so you could catch up on some sleep? In fact, was there anyone who worked like you do to make life easier for you? If the answer is 'yes' then fine, go right ahead, but most of us had to muddle through on our own, with no sleep, a colicky baby, a tantrumy toddler, no car and a husband who didn't want to know. Do you know what? We survived, and so did our kids. I'm not suggesting that you pull out altogether but you are not giving your family the opportunity to suffer a bit and find out just what they can achieve on their own.

You can tell by the posts that people care about you and are worried for you. Practise not being so available, they will all still love you. We do.

betheebee

TAPLADY Thank you, in time I wil let all know the probs that I and DH are facing. Forgive me for being on the edge of moaning, self indulgenst etc. xx

betheebee

monnagran wrote: »

Beth, when your children were young, did you have anyone who took them over when things got tough? Did anyone come over to remove them so you could catch up on some sleep? In fact, was there anyone who worked like you do to make life easier for you? If the answer is 'yes' then fine, go right ahead, but most of us had to muddle through on our own, with no sleep, a colicky baby, a tantrumy toddler, no car and a husband who didn't want to know. Do you know what? We survived, and so did our kids. I'm not suggesting that you pull out altogether but you are not giving your family the opportunity to suffer a bit and find out just what they can achieve on their own.

You can tell by the posts that people care about you and are worried for you. Practise not being so available, they will all still love you. We do.

Monnogram,
The answer to most of your questions is "No" I/ we never had any help from any family/friends. My parents never ever once baby sat or helped when hosp appts/ opps had to be met. They would't even come to our wedding. I have to break the mould and do everything my M & D didn't do.
You are spot on..... I love my family to bits and will go to the end of the world for them.... maybe not the best plan but can't help wanting to do all I possibly can.
So many sp's but life's to short to correct simple mistakes, eh ??
Bless yah Monno :A

monnagran

Beth. You are you, not your parents. You can't make up to your family for all the things YOU missed, it doesn't work like that. Of course you want to help everyone. no-one wants to see their children struggling but they do have to learn how to cope on their own. If anything should happen to you, God forbid, how will they begin to manage if they have never learned how to.
What I'm trying to say is that it's not always kind to shield people from the harder side of life. And you are certainly not being fair to yourself, or your children. If you make yourself iller or overstressed you won't be able to help them even a little bit.

Oh flower, do ease off. You'll be relieved to know that I'm off to bed now, so the lecture is over for today. x x x

meanmarie

Beth....I agree 110% with what Monnagram and NPM have been saying. There is no need for you to run yourself into the ground to prove to your family that you love them....they know it, the fact that you had no help is not a reason to go overboard. I was a 'smothered' only child for 8 years and never did any washing, ironing or real cooking until I married at 25....not a good idea, as I still resent having to do housework! My parents were very helpful when my children were small and I was extremely grateful for that, but you go away beyond that, so pull back a bit for your own sake....your only responsibility now is to yourself and OH.

marie

topsyturphy

Not getting much chance to post ds2 not sleeping more than 6 hours a night feel quite tired esp with working. In jan I'm reducing my hours to 2 days.

Hester glad youu have had a lovely birthday

Lou ((hugs)) you are doing great

Beth I have to agree with others try and slow down a little.

NPM are there no schools nearby that have an asd centre attached, I know there are some in this area. You are such a wonderful mum.

Os not much at the moment apart from washing and basic cleaning.

Sorry if I have missed anyone. Hugs to anyone that needs/wants one. Takke care