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Getting rid of baby's things, after a loss
Comments
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So very sorry for your loss, thoughts, hugs and prayers are with you.
Take your time and like others have said, the grieving process will never end, it just gets easier to cope and you learn how to cope.
Counselling and maybe PTSD support will help you through the journey.
Your DH is just trying to put on a brave face and be the stronger one, probably for you, your daughter and your little angle you sadly lost
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Have dealt with this, not myself, but others I know. Take things very easy, and look after yourselves. If you can avoid making decisions, do. If space or something else forces a decision, sell or give away the bigger, less personal stuff, and put smaller personal things in a box with cards, and other special things and keep it. You may never look at it again, you may get it out frequently - everyone is different.
Use your love for each other to accept different ways of mourning, and find someone you trust to talk to.0 -
stayingupright wrote: »Is it really wrong of me to want to hold on to things for a while? Just until things are clearer, and the grief is less raw? Or should I do as DH wants and just sell everything now?
I guess that DH wants me to "move on", as he says that I'm "wallowing" in it at the moment, and wants me to start to get over it, yet I just seem stuck, and keep going over & over it in my mind, and don't want to go out, or "get over it".
My deepest sympathies - I can't begin to imagine your pain right now.
I don't have any great words of wisdom but I would say it is far far too early to be able to cope with any kind of decision-making and you don't 'get over' the loss of a precious child, ever. Your husband needs to understand this.
To say you are 'wallowing' in it after a mere three weeks (4 years is considered 'early days' when it comes to child loss) is crazy. It's only just happened, you are still in a haze of shock and disbelief and anger and sorrow, not to mention the physical trauma from which you are still recovering. Of course he is in huge emotional pain himself and perhaps he is dealing with it by trying not to think about it. But he needs to understand that your way of grieving is not the same.
It will take a long long time before you begin to accept what has happened, that's what your husband needs to understand. Removing your daughter's things from the house is not going to remove the grief and pain.0 -
OP, how are you doing? Hope you're coping OK.:cool: DFW Nerd Club member 023...DFD 9.2.2007 :cool::heartpuls married 21 6 08 :A Angel babies' birth dates 3.10.08 * 4.3.11 * 11.11.11 * 17.3.12 * 2.7.12 :heart2: My live baby's birth date 22 7 09 :heart2: I'm due another baby at the end of July 2014! :j
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