Getting rid of baby's things, after a loss

Crispy_Ambulance

I am very sorry for your loss - and that goes for all of those sharing their stories here.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve and you don't know how you will feel in the future - you just have to get through this time. Maybe putting some of your baby's things away would be the best compromise - later, when the grief isn't quite so raw, you can choose what you want to keep and what you don't.

Take care of yourself.

Ellejmorgan

I lost my daughter at 38 weeks due to an abruption, the emotions you are feeling are too raw to make any decisions about anything,
Ask a friend to store her belongings as you may regret them being gone..
With my daughter I also had to go through the c- section process, this is so hard to deal with-
I wasn't allowed to grieve due to other peoples reactions and I held back, took me 7 years to learn to cope, 7 years before I wasn't waking up in the night remembering she was gone..

The best advise I can give you is cry as much as you want.. if you want to sit and cry for 10 hours per day then please do it..
Don't try to be brave you don't need to be it won't help in the long run..
At my worst I wanted to lay on her grave with a bottle of vodka and not get up..
I had grief counselling which helped immensly it was almost like I was given permission to grieve, I felt guilty as my placenta ripped when I rolled over in bed..

Now 10 years on the pain hasn't lessened but more like there is a box mentally to put the pain in..

Please contact SANDS and cry as much as you want to..

Thinking of you xxxx

Stephb1986_2

I don't have any advice I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss

Thinking of you

Steph xx

MarilynMonroe_2

I'm so sorry for your loss xxx
Keep whatever you feel you need to, if youre not sure then keep it anyway.
Like some of the other ladies, I had a loss too and kept a big cudly toy which my dd now has, and I plan on getting a small tattoo as a little tribute xx

jojo_2012_2

You can't put a time limit on grieving, but if you could I doubt it'd be 3 weeks. You're probably still very hormonal on top of everything else.

Maybe it might help if you sold some of the stuff and donated the money to something nice?

karren

no words just a special hug xxx
time is what you need, your not wallowing your grieving and everyone is different, please remember that xxx

Pinky15

Can only echo what others have said - sorry for you loss x

mrs_marty

I'm so sorry for your loss, and you are not wallowing, just grieving. When I lost my little girl 7 years ago I was really numb and can honestly describe that time and for about a year later as being quite fuzzy, at first I didn't/couldn't touch anything, everything then went into my mum's loft. After a while I gave away the cot etc and then a bit after that I felt able to sort through the clothes I had kept of eldest DD and pass them onto the midwives to pass onto single mums and charities.

Like others have said let yourself cry, don't shut your emotions away. Some days it is all consuming, and it's allowed don't feel you have to put a brave face on.

7 years on and I can honestly say I have learned to deal with my grief and know when it is building up in me and can share how I'm feeling with others around me, so it doesn't break me down so to speak. I would recommend going to the groups, as it really helps speaking to people around you who know how you are feeling.

Thinking on you all x

shellsuit

I am so sorry for all you lovely people who have lost little ones, I can't even begin to imagine what you have gone through, it's so bloody sad and unfair


OP, I don't know what to suggest as I can see if from your side and your husband's side, and truth be told, neither of you are right and neither of you are wrong, it's just a different way you both want to grieve.

I really hope with all my heart that you can both reach a compromise.

Take care xxx

merlin68

My daughter died at 3 months of age, 21 years ago. Her stuff is still in my Mum's garage. I got rid of the pram, cot and car seat, but kept everything else. Mum's keeps asking me if i still want it. But i can't part with it even after all this time. I don't look at it, I just know it's there. The best thing to do is to hide it up somewhere, so you know you can access it if you want to.