My daughter dislikes my partner..

lostinrates

btw, I don't think it matters whether OP answers direct questions or not...if the questions are making her think and approach the situation differently they are helpful to her.

Jelly*baby

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

My teenage daughter very often does not want to do things with us-
not cool to do things with parents!! As long as you include her then you have done your bit. Why do you stay in? If you want to go out, just go.If she does not want to go, get a babysitter.

What I was really talking about though was you going on holiday without her because she played up last time. I personally would not go without my daughter at age 13 whether she played up or not.

As I said, I think 13 can be a really difficult age, even when everything in life is 'normal'(for want of a better word!)

I agree not cool! BUT i offer and she cant say i didnt include her. Everyone says the same to me offer and if she says no just go out but i can't, i can't just leave her as i feel so bad shes at home on her own and so we stay in.

As for the holiday hard we have 2 choices..offer for her to come..it's been a no so basically we aren't going on holiday again? OR offer she says no and we go anyway? take her regardless and it's a sham? would rather not go. ..torn..utterly torn.

KiKi

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

i didnt mention the holiday in that post. the dates in question are that the op has a 13 year old daughter who has had her mother with -
1. bio dad for some months
2. step dad for 12 years
3. new partner for over a year

you dont have to be carole vorderman to work what that all means.

I agree it's quick between the previous and current partner, I'm just saying it doesn't mean she cheated.

DD could be very nearly 14, too.

KiKi

Jelly*baby

Sorry cant keep up with the replies.

A breakdown of my life so far is:

With her biological dad for 3 years, had dd and he left when she was a few weeks old.

Met her stepdad who i was with for 12 years.

Over a period of about 6 months things were up and down with my ex and i left him and got together with my now OH shortly after. Very quick but i have known him years not that, that means much but my point is i wouldn't ahve got together with 'anyone'

Im 33 if it helps with the timescale?

Yes i know she is affected thats why im on here.

dirtysexymonkey

KiKi wrote: »

I agree it's quick between the previous and current partner, I'm just saying it doesn't mean she cheated.

DD could be very nearly 14, too.

KiKi

of course not, but it does show what the ops main motivation is, and it appears that it is not her daughters happiness.

Gavin83

Jelly*baby wrote: »

It was very quick. My ex punishes me for leaving him, my daughter as i said knew nothing so it came as a shock, she saw ex upset and knows its because of me so hates me for that reason. Also meant to say due to my OH now she obviously blames him for it but it was my decision.

So did you have any sort of involvement with your current partner while you were still with your previous one or not? You do seem to be avoiding the question.

Jelly*baby

KiKi wrote: »

I agree it's quick between the previous and current partner, I'm just saying it doesn't mean she cheated.

DD could be very nearly 14, too.

No i didnt cheat..i left my husband and got into another relationship quickly i would never cheat on him.

dirtysexymonkey

Jelly*baby wrote: »

Sorry cant keep up with the replies.

A breakdown of my life so far is:

With her biological dad for 3 years, had dd and he left when she was a few weeks old.

Met her stepdad who i was with for 12 years.

Over a period of about 6 months things were up and down with my ex and i left him and got together with my now OH shortly after. Very quick but i have known him years not that, that means much but my point is i wouldn't ahve got together with 'anyone'

Im 33 if it helps with the timescale?

Yes i know she is affected thats why im on here.

you remind me of a friend i have. she cant be alone. she jumps from relationship to relationship but never leaves without her options firmly in place. that type of game is fine when its just you, but not when you have a child to consider.

i think your happy to accept that your daughter has been negatively affected by your behaviour, but not in practice. you wont give up anything to ensure that she is happy. all compromise must be done by her.

your playing a very dangerous game and if you continue youll find yourself alone.

Jelly*baby

Gavin83 wrote: »

So did you have any sort of involvement with your current partner while you were still with your previous one or not? You do seem to be avoiding the question.

No i have just put exactly that above! Quick doesnt mean cheating, things are bad enough without adding that to the mix.

Jelly*baby

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

you remind me of a friend i have. she cant be alone. she jumps from relationship to relationship but never leaves without her options firmly in place. that type of game is fine when its just you, but not when you have a child to consider.

i think your happy to accept that your daughter has been negatively affected by your behaviour, but not in practice. you wont give up anything to ensure that she is happy. all compromise must be done by her.

your playing a very dangerous game and if you continue youll find yourself alone.

I knew someone would put that!

Ironically her dad was never at home and i spent most of my preganacy on my own and brought her up for a year on my own while seeing her stepdad before he moved in. Her stepdad worked so much it was me and dd a lot of the time so yes i can live on my own i just choose not to. If i had not got together with my OH id'e be on my own now. Guess thats the prob she wants me to herself.