Just lost my best pal

Newbeginning

Please don't apologise, I'm sure everyone who is reading this thread would rather you had somewhere to get everything off your chest and talk about how you feel. I just wish I could say something useful!

gunsandbanjos

Just found this thread, i'm so sorry Rising:( In tears reading your posts.

Run free at the bridge Ben.

sazzybum

You're not 'going on' at all! That's what we're here for isn't it?

Talk about Ben as much as you want rising. If it releives a tiny bit of the pain- then go ahead

Aileen
xx

gettingready

Rising... thinking of you and Ben and .....

The Legacy

When humans die, they make a will
To leave their homes and all they have to those they love.

I, too, would make a will if I could write.
To some poor wistful, lonely stray I leave my happy home,
My dish, my cosy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy.
The well loved lap, the gentle stroking hand, the loving voice,
The place I made in someone's heart,
The love that at the last could help me to a peaceful painless end
Held in loving arms.

If I should die, Oh do not say,
"No more a pet I'll have,
to grieve me by it's loss"
Seek out some lonely, unloved dog .
And give my place to them.
This is the legacy I leave behind -
'tis all I have to give.

Stephb1986_2

I'm sat here crying now like a big baby I really do feel your heartbreak I wish there was something I could do to help. I think pets have a massive massive impact on our lives sometimes I wonder if it's best not to have pets so we don't have to go through the heartbreak of losing them

sending you massive hugs

RIP Ben you handsome chap

Steph xx

rising_from_the_ashes

Thanks again for the kind words everyone.

Today has been full of "firsts" which has been pretty awful - don't know what to do with myself when I get up to fill in the time before work - I'm a very early riser (usually by 5am).

I probably do still need to go for a walk (helps loosen my back off - arthritis) but it feels like there's a part of me missing without him there.


Cats keep looking for him too - especially the wee one... believe it or not the "big bad tempered (adorable) ginger one" absolutely doted on him.

House feels awful still - don't know how to sort that as I live by myself and no-one to fill the void.

Don't get me wrong - I adore my cats but they come for a 10 min cuddle and then booger off and do what cats do (whatever that is - it seems to involve a lot of sleeping;)) whereas Ben was always in whatever room I was in.


I need to sort out what's left of his food etc and it will be going to a very small charity nearby - there's quite a lot as I'd (will say "typically" and know you'll know it's a tongue in cheek remark) just bought 2 x 15kg bags as it was on offer....

vicx

I was just about to post here to ask how you were. It's an awful feeling experiencing all the firsts and coming home and getting up on a morning when your best friend is not there, when I lost mine I kept looking for them all the time. I know exactly what you mean when you say Ben was 'the one'. I loved all my dogs the same, but there was something more special about my Yorkie I lost 6 month ago. He was like a baby and we had a bond like I could not have with any other so when I lost him I was a mess, I still cry daily for him, I just can't believe I won't see my two again (ahh theres the tears starting now!).

My King Charles that I lost 12 weeks later did not get on with my Yorkie (jealousy) but once he died, she missed him terribly. I could see she was very despressed and she started following me every where, always wanted to come out in the car every time I went out and even fretting the times I could not take her with me, something she's never done.

It was awful coming home and only having one dog running to me. Dinner times and walks were difficult, I broke down every time. When my King Charles passed away, I couldn't take anymore - the pain was too much. I went 5 weeks without a dog, I kept saying I would never get another and I really did not think I would ever get another never mind two! I just didn't want to feel like I was replacing them (not that they can be replaced) or go through this heartache again but the house was so empty. It was so upsetting coming home to an empty house and getting up on a morning with no dogs to feed. Nothing helped me get through it, I couldn't even go out and enjoy myself without them being constantly on my mind but since I got these two pups they have helped me a lot. They have kept me busy and my mind off things although I still cry daily for my other two the pain is more bearable, if I didn't have these two to help me I don't know where I would be now.

Maybe in time you will be able to offer a loving home to another dog and remember all the happy memories of Ben.

rising_from_the_ashes

Awww Vicx (((hugs))) I remember when you lost your two and how devasted you were/are. Glad the wee ones are helping ease the pain a bit - hope you're making progress on the training!

I'm struggling with how quick it was (although very glad I didn't wait longer) and feel that I didn't have time to say goodbye properly.

I don't know if I'll feel any better when he comes home ... probably not but I want him with me.

I've just been and printed out some pics of him (will need to get some better frames as the ones I've got are awful) and have one on the fireplace and will put one in my bedroom. I just need to be able to see him (don't know if that's morbid or not) I'm hoping it'll help me sleep a bit better tonight knowing that I can turn on the light and see him.

Going out to work and not having him jumping around for his Bonio was bad enough but coming back in ..... I sat and howled in the car for ages before I could pluck up the courage to do it.

Dreading the weekend ....

vicx

When I lost my yorkie, I bought a big photo album, personalised it with diamontes and printed hundreds of photo's of him for over the 15 years. It took weeks to arrange them in order but it helped me a lot with the grieving as I could sit and look at him every day. Then I done the same with my King Charles and bought a multi photo frame to have the 3 of them in which I have in my sitting room. Both of my Yorkies are buried in my garden but my King Charles had to be creamated due to size (which I got really upset about) so I have her ashes in my bedroom where she slept at night.

The plan was to bury her ashes in the grave where my Yorkies are buried but when I collected them I could not part with them and don't think I ever could. I also bought a King Charles statue, memorial stones, solar lights and planted flowers in the grave so I had a nice place to remember them all - well it was nice until these two little tinkers found out how to jump over the little fence and pull the flowers out

The training is coming on great - I wish I posted the thread on here sooner as it seems they picked it up as soon I posted, they must have read what I wrote! They have a few little accidents but not daily and they use the training mats through the night and while I'm out, they haven't chewing them up since. They can be good when they want to be.

I think you'll start to feel a little better when you have Ben back home where he belongs. It will be upsetting at first but you really feel like they are still around and he'll be close to you. Are you planning on making a personalised photo album for Ben with the photo's you have printed?

Spirit_2

So sorry to hear this.

Spirit