Should I be worried?

princessdreamer

hagar I don't think that is true, in most cases the mothers go through hell trying to keep the children in contact with their father and hit problems day in day out. The fathers live the single life then play doting daddy when their family or new girlfriend are around. Other men use the courts as a form of abuse to control the ex wife, even when they win they are still not happy as access was not what they wanted.

Hagar_uk

RainbowDreamer wrote: »

Hagar.. I am reducing his access from 3 days and nights a week.. to 2 days and 2 nights a week.. how am I taking his children away from him? I have also said to my solicitor AND to him, that if certain changes were made I would increase it again.. ie, doing what benefits my eldest and taking him to nursery and doing it properly.
If I was being selfish I would be trying to take it away completely. But I am not thinking of me.. or him.. I am thinking of my children.

I am just trying to give a twist to it, I have been in that situation, and in mycase, I felt it had nothing to do with my son, and it got me worried that it was the thin edge of the wedge. He will be worried that if he lets it go, what will be next, alternate weekends, giving up without a fight my midweek access for the sake peace and harmony , did my child no good and left the mother thinking she had absolute power over our son.

RainbowDreamer

I am not like mothers who do that. I allowed him at the birth even though we weren't together and didn't get on at that time. To scans etc so he wouldn't miss out. Allowed him access from the youngest being born and allowed overnight access from very early on. He is always informed of important events or health issues on the days he doesn't have the children etc. I have bent over backwards for him to see his children and be a good father and he has not taken that in a positive way unfortunately.

Hagar_uk

RainbowDreamer wrote: »

I am not like mothers who do that. I allowed him at the birth even though we weren't together and didn't get on at that time. To scans etc so he wouldn't miss out. Allowed him access from the youngest being born and allowed overnight access from very early on. He is always informed of important events or health issues on the days he doesn't have the children etc. I have bent over backwards for him to see his children and be a good father and he has not taken that in a positive way unfortunately.

You do seem to have been quite reasonable, considering you were not together at all at the birth. Have you tried talking to him directly at pre arranges meeting? Us blokes can be idiots at times if we think we are being dictated and go on the defensive , but a one on one friendly chat away from the kids in a netrual environment can sometimes do the world of good, clear the air, especially if you are both looking whats best for the child

NAR

RD remain positive. Of course young kids get bumps and bruises and I'm sure Social Services will realise the difference between abuse and accidental bruising. Judges are well used to working out when people are lying to them for their own ends.

RainbowDreamer

I have tried for the past year to speak to him about matters regarding the children. He just gets defensive and threatening. I have applied for mediation on 2 occassions and he has point bank refused. I have also tried to send letters myself and recently had a letter sent from my solicitor which is why he has taken it to court and said what he has said. If he doesn't get his own way, he will use tactics to bully me or wear me down as most of the time this results in me allowing him his own way.
If he would discuss it maturely with me, and would consider what is good for the children then I am sure we would not be having the problems that we are now having.

RainbowDreamer

Can anything be done when a 3 year old is kept out of nursery frequently with it not being a compulsory place? It benefits his education and development. Not sure if there is anything I can do

DUTR

RainbowDreamer wrote: »

Can anything be done when a 3 year old is kept out of nursery frequently with it not being a compulsory place? It benefits his education and development. Not sure if there is anything I can do

I don't know if there is anything you can do,however I must confess you do come across as slightly aggressive in your posts and always up for a fight, all I can suggest is that you start being more diplomatic and gentle in your attitude, accept the fact that you do not call all the shots

beenstung

DUTR wrote: »

I don't know if there is anything you can do,however I must confess you do come across as slightly aggressive in your posts and always up for a fight, all I can suggest is that you start being more diplomatic and gentle in your attitude, accept the fact that you do not call all the shots

You what? Where the hell do you get that impression from?

DUTR

beenstung wrote: »

You what? Where the hell do you get that impression from?

I'm not here for an argument, have you read post #1 &#21 ?
Strange how the OP wants to dictate how and when the contact is performed, yet when questions are asked of them, these accussations are totally absurd, always wary when a poster says MY child(ren) as if they did not make the children with somebody else.
I am not on cafcass or the courts or anything like that, so whichever way the siutation unfolds makes no odds to me. However as mentioned the attitude may not help the OP's cause.