Ex Boyfriend Demanding Money

victory

Very good advice emmzi

peachyprice

Do not even open any further letters he sends to you, shred them straight away.

He cannot make you pay a penny towards HIS debts, end of. Do not offer him anything. You have no obligation to.

Contact the police/womens aid if you believe he is harassing you and you feel unsafe.

Birdy12

Endofmytether1 wrote: »

He has also requested that I return a DVD that he thinks I took from his house - I didnt and this particular DVD has been missing for about 7 months now but he is adamant I have got it.

The advice posted above is excellent.

Your comment shows how desperate he is for you to respond, I mean, amongst other things, a missing DVD? :cool:

Ignore him. You have your parent's support and your friend's support. Don't let him wear you down.

Birdy.

Blonde_Ambition

Look after yourself. Take the advice about the police and women's agencies. They will advise you best. Have been there. DON'T let him mess with your head. Best wishes.

DVardysShadow

peachyprice wrote: »

Do not even open any further letters he sends to you, shred them straight away.

I am really really dubious about this advice - at this point.

It seems to me that in respect of the holiday, there is an 'arguable' claim - ie, if it went to court, the judge would say the case should be heard. Not necessarily a winnable case, but certainly an arguable case. So letters which are shredded could be in pursuit of this claim. This in turn could bring down a CCJ with no chance to pay it off, which could be quite damaging. Plus it could give him a day in court.

For this reason, although OP may quite reasonably feel that nothing is owed, I would strongly suggest dealing with the matter in a way which creates a clean break.

After that, shred the letters unopened.

peachyprice

Do you really think this nasty piece of work is going to take her to court?

There is no arguable claim as the ex had agreed to pay the reaminder of her half

Endofmytether1 wrote: »

I paid £950 in cash and my boyfriend put the rest on his credit card, having agreed that he would pay the remainder for my half of the holiday as I paid for nearly everything else in the house.

He's doing it to intimidate and frighten her, just like he did when they were in a relationship and at the moment it's working.

vax2002

Put his letters in an envelope and send them to his mum with a short note asking him if next time she is warming his pyjamas for him she can have a mummy word with him about how to treat women, other wise she is going to be stuck with him in the nest for an awful long time yet.

mazza111

You've had some pretty good advice here but here's my tuppence worth

1. Do NOT engage in any sort of conversation with him. Ignore all letters from him.

2. Do NOT offer any money at all. If he wants it that bad, let him get a court order.

3. Keep all letters he sends you as evidence should the need arise.

4. Report it to the police.

5. Contact Women's Aid

6. Contact a solicitor with regards to getting an injunction


He's still trying to manipulate you even though you are apart. I don't think he will take you to court for the money towards the holiday, if he does, then bring up all the other monetary things. Like the £250 towards the cost of living and how long it lasted in that situation. You were keeping him. Congratulations on getting out of this relationship!

teabag29

Sounds like this guy is using every trick in the book to keep contact with you. If I were you i'd warn him in no uncertain terms that if he continues to harrass you that you will be forced to go to the police and take out a restraining order. Make it clear it is over and you will not be returning ever and he needs to move on and stop all the threats and foolishness. If he doesn't then go to the police and let them deal with it.... I dont think he will be quite so mouthy when he has the police turning up to his parents house lol

DVardysShadow

peachyprice wrote: »

Do you really think this nasty piece of work is going to take her to court?

There is no arguable claim as the ex had agreed to pay the reaminder of her half




He's doing it to intimidate and frighten her, just like he did when they were in a relationship and at the moment it's working.

Who knows what he will do.

Do not confuse 'arguable' and 'winnable'! A judge would allow a case like this to go forward to a hearing, because it hinges on facts which could be argued, rather than on any matter of law which would rule that there was no case. The same judge would probably also be of a mind that the ex would have to prove a lot to win this case.

Yes, fully agree that he is out to intimidate, I am under no illusions. Which is why I suggest that this potentially legitimate claim should be settled ASAP, in order to deny him any further lever for contact. As I see it, the holiday money question will stand as an excuse until it is either settled or it goes to court. Best to settle it in full and final terms. This will leave the waters far less muddied if the OP does need to take the matter forward under the head of harassment.

The post below shows where this is going. Leaving this money unresolved will give the ex a lot more wriggle room to fight back.

teabag29 wrote: »

Sounds like this guy is using every trick in the book to keep contact with you. If I were you i'd warn him in no uncertain terms that if he continues to harrass you that you will be forced to go to the police and take out a restraining order. Make it clear it is over and you will not be returning ever and he needs to move on and stop all the threats and foolishness. If he doesn't then go to the police and let them deal with it.... I dont think he will be quite so mouthy when he has the police turning up to his parents house lol