Ex Boyfriend Demanding Money

busiscoming2

I would certainly keep all the correspondence you receive from him (probably unopened, as it will potentially upset or annoy you)just in case you need it as evidence later.

Agree with the people that are saying have no contact with him.

Cat2011

To be honest I think he has a point with the holiday money. I'd pay him the £550 and also post him a new DVD, just so he can't argue that point with you - it can't cost much. It was your holiday cost and a verbal agreement doesn't mean anything. You can't use that money to punish him for not paying up previously.

That way, if he writes any more letters you clearly owe him no more money and you can take all the letters as evidence to the police.

dumpy

Based on personal experinece.

Log the incidents with the police, don't call 999, pop in and see someone. Say he is harrassing you, they were very helpful with me. If you start the log now, it may be a one off but if you get more incidents they will be aware of it.

It might be worth seeing a solicitor and sending out a letter, I did and it cost £90 ish for his time and the letter, worth every penny. This may stop him in his tracks.

The Solicitor I saw gave me reassurance and also wrote a letter so that I wasn't making myself liable. If you start giving money, what precendent are you setting?

Then ignore and enjoy peaceful life.

DVardysShadow

dumpy wrote: »

If you start giving money, what precendent are you setting?

None whatsoever if you settle a specific issue and the settlement is given in full and final settlement of all matters.

ceegee

Emmzi wrote: »

All his actions are about continued attempots to control you.

1. No contact. If he believes you owe him he can go to court.

2. Make the police aware he has been violent towards you, of your mobile number, home and work addresses. You need RAPID response if he shows up.

3. Contact women's aid for support.

4. Consider some kind of restraining order, discuss possibility with solicitor.

I agree with this.

He is still trying to manipulate you.

Do not have any contact with him whatsoever.

Emmzi's advice is spot on, IMHO.

dumpy

DVardysShadow wrote: »

None whatsoever if you settle a specific issue and the settlement is given in full and final settlement of all matters.

But you need to make sure that this is all tied up and sorted out, properly and with no come back.

From what has been written I don't think

a) he'll go away

b) that arranging to meet him/ or posting him something to sign will either work or be a good idea.

Do you really think this guy is going to act reasonably?

vax2002

Could you not ask someone at work to intercept the mail and destroy it ?
I am sure any good boss would have a very sympathetic ear to such problems.
He is playing with your head and the best way to stop this is to ask someone to step in and protect you from the abuse, if the letters are removed and you do not get to read them, he can not hurt you any more, he will get the message eventually.
Have a word at work, tell them this is upsetting you at work and ask if they can help you .

DVardysShadow

dumpy wrote: »

But you need to make sure that this is all tied up and sorted out, properly and with no come back.

From what has been written I don't think

a) he'll go away

b) that arranging to meet him/ or posting him something to sign will either work or be a good idea.

Do you really think this guy is going to act reasonably?

Let us turn this around. Do you think he will act reasonably if his letters are ignored?

The answer is No. It does not matter how this goes forward, he is not going to act reasonably and I am a little surprised that you seem to think that I imagine that he will act reasonably.

But there is an amount of money on which he has some degree of claim. It is not totally unreasonable for him to want the remainder of the holiday money.. I can't see any sense in leaving him a reasonable excuse to maintain contact.

Yes, when it is settled it needs to be done in full and final settlement of all matters.

claire16c

I think you should ignore him. He clearly is out for your attention and cant bear it that you are no longer under the same roof together for him to abuse.
Even if you gave him any money or bought him a dvd, hed just ask for something else. I would follow Emmzis advice. He lived with you and didnt pay half so I think its a joke he now wants you to pay half of a holiday he agreed to pay for. Dont even enter into an argument with him.

dumpy

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Let us turn this around. Do you think he will act reasonably if his letters are ignored?

The answer is No. It does not matter how this goes forward, he is not going to act reasonably and I am a little surprised that you seem to think that I imagine that he will act reasonably.

But there is an amount of money on which he has some degree of claim. It is not totally unreasonable for him to want the remainder of the holiday money.. I can't see any sense in leaving him a reasonable excuse to maintain contact.

Yes, when it is settled it needs to be done in full and final settlement of all matters.

I don't think she should ignore him either.

But I do think that she should get proper advice as to what she should do.

It may be reasonable to pay the holiday, I'm not offering an opinion there.

But she needs to make sure that this isn't the start of "you paid me the holiday money as you knew you should, but there was also this that you didn't pay for......."

And I still think this needs to be logged with the police.