Absolutely want to screeeam!!

olibrofiz

Lots of things for me to think of

As she's not managing her money well I think the idea of not giving it to her all in one go is a good one, and I'm going to implement that from the next due date of 1st December - I'm not going to stop the allowance as the alternative is me being constantly nagged for money.

And get her bedroom door fixed so that it latches - her bedroom furniture is fine, it's only about 3 years old.

Regarding the wearing of dirty clothes, this is a fairly recent thing - she recently got a new boyfriend who, from what she's told me, is jealous, depressive, argumentative etc, etc and I guess she's not been feeling particularly good about herself. She dumped him last week so fingers crossed she'll start being a bit more her happy self.

Bennifred

olibrofiz wrote: »

Lots of things for me to think of

As she's not managing her money well I think the idea of not giving it to her all in one go is a good one, and I'm going to implement that from the next due date of 1st December - I'm not going to stop the allowance as the alternative is me being constantly nagged for money.
.........................................................

No, the alternative is to tell her to get a job!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

olibrofiz wrote: »

Lots of things for me to think of

As she's not managing her money well I think the idea of not giving it to her all in one go is a good one, and I'm going to implement that from the next due date of 1st December - I'm not going to stop the allowance as the alternative is me being constantly nagged for money.

The alternative isn't that - it's;

'Muuuuuuuuummmmm, can I have -'

Is your room clean?


'Oh, but, I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddd -'

Have you picked up the stuff you left in the living room?


'Muuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm, I have to - '

Clean your room, get those hair spiders out of the shower, get your washing in the machine and put your plates in the dishwasher. I know.



'I hate you' [flounce]



It's saved me a fortune on mobile top ups, spending money and paying for sweets to be left down the side of the bed, potentially attracting bugs.

Bumpmakesfour

Firstly your DD doesn't realise how lucky she is!At 16 there was no way on this earth my parents would be handing £50 a month over...especially if I was being such a slob!I had to earn my own cash from part time work,do chores around the house etc and I think it's time your DD learnt money should be earnt tbh.

Instead of giving her the £50 in one go couldn't you spilt it into weekly installments and she only gets it on the condition that she keeps her room or at the very least the communal areas.Can you not set up a cleaning rota?Give her some responsibilities around the house?

Allowing her to behave like this,wear three week old clothes(yuck!!) and still hand over the £50 isn't doing her any favours really.She needs to realise that the world outside the safety of your front door doesn't work that way hun x

GemJar_2

I was a horribly messy teenager, until one day, my mum always threatened that she'd bin everything that was out of place in my room and give me a deadline. I didn't believe her and didn't think she'd throw away the things she'd boughts... how wrong I was! One day I got home and there was 4 bin bags outside my bedroom door and my mum point blank refused to give me any of it back, she took it all to the charity shop and that was that, I was tidy after that haha. She threw away my games console pads (not the console as it was in its rightful place), clothes, books, shoes, make up, jewelry everything that was on the floor or not tidy on the sides. I'm currently considering the same course of action with my boyfriend.

geekgirl

Good luck with it, hope it makes for an easier household

Also forgot to say, I would precede these changes with a 'we have to have a little chat about some changes around here' talk.

She needs to know that you are going to put things in place and stick to it, so best to chat about it first whilst things are calm.

roadiegirl

One of my friends Mum's put up a washing line in the front garden and hung all her dirty knickers for the public to see, she was mortified when she got home. Needless to say, she did her washing after that and kept her room tidy!

newcook

Im with jojo – if she hasn’t done x,y or z then she gets told no!!!

Also, if she is useless with money now, why are you saving up for a place for her when she is 18?! Within 6 months she will be back home because she cant keep up with bills, cleaning, rent etc and that money you saved will be gone!!

I would be telling her now what your plans are, what you have saved and what you expect will be saved when she is 18 and if she cannot prove that she is a responsible, clean, tidy, respectful person you will blow the lot on a holiday for yourself!

Most teens are messy/untidy but they seem to react well to money!!

I would also be telling her to get a job and start making a contribution to the home!

Lara44

OP do you spend a lot of good quality one on one time with your daughter? If you get to know each other better you might not both get 'typecast' into nagging Mum / stroppy yuck teenager roles. Respect is something that's built together. You never know how it might change life at home. Just a suggestion - I agree her behaviour sounds pretty dirty, and I have laughed at some of the more creative suggestions!!

magenta22

I wouldn't clean up after her, she knows that eventually you will do it so she doesn't bother, if she finds she has no clean clothes and/or can't find things then she will have to clean up after herself.