Absolutely want to screeeam!!

olibrofiz

Feeling a LOT tetchy as under threat of redundancy at work and have to think of 'brief notes of experience' to apply for a job I've been doing for 11 years....so this is likely to be contributing to the fact that....

....the teenager is driving me mad :mad::mad: she won't tidy up after herself. I've done the tidying up after her, the not tidying up after her, the nice asking, the threats, the wailing, the grounding, the throwing the stuff out of the window on to the front lawn... and am now at a loss.

She's swanned off to her dads for the weekend and I'm sitting here surrounded by 3 weeks worth of washing :mad: I FINALLY got her to put it in her washing basket. The last time I did a no tidy up there were bottles, cans, sweet wrappers, empty yoghurt cartons, crisp packets etc in every room of my house :mad: There is still something in a glass on the bathroom windowsill that looks like a urine sample (which I asked her to move 3 days ago) I'm hoping it;s apple juice.

For the sake of a tidy house do I just tidy and say nothing - while quitely saving for a deposit on a flat for when she's 18 - or what do I do? REALLY fed up with it tbh. There is a no food in her bedroom rule which she just takes no notice of as wel and which drives me nuts as it's normally a bar of chocolate that she leaves in reach of doglets. Fed up with either shouting or giving the silent, disapproving, treatment, neither work.

Arrrrghhhhhhhh!!!

Apricot

I would put every single piece of rubbish she has left lying around in her room - preferably on her bed so when she gets back she absolutely has to sort it out. I also wouldn't be doing three weeks worth of washing, leave it and when she comes back get her to do it all herself so she can see how much work her "saving it up" is costing you.

Either that or just leave her at her dads forever

Good luck with the job!

olibrofiz

lol, her dad would get the shock of his life but she's the same at his

What's really set me off is I had a bath this morning and as I lay there all relaxed I glanced at the wall tiles next to me and there was a bit of ripped off finger nail stuck to the tile :mad: along with teenagers long hair - it had obviously been floating in the bath so she scooped it out and 'wiped' it on the tiles :mad::mad: arrrrghhhhhh

Edit : have done the piling the rubbish on her bed before now, she just moves it all to her dressing table

Caroline_a

My girls were pretty untidy, and I just pointed out that they had to live in the mess. I used to shut their doors and leave the mess inside. From about the age of 14 they were responsible for their own washing which focussed their minds amazingly once they wanted to wear something and it wasn't clean!

What always makes me smile now is that the most untidy of the 3 of them is seriously houseproud now that she has her own house!

j.e.j.

How old is she? If she's a teen I''m guessing she's old enough to work a washing machine, so she has a choice: do it herself or go to school/round to her mates in dirty clothes

There's no reason you should have to live in a pig-sty (!!) so maybe try withdrawing priveleges (stop funding her haircuts/make-up/fashion clothes, etc?) if you can't reason with her re. not leaving rubbish everywhere. Of course she might then just go to her dad to ask for things, so you might need to present a 'united front' there.

olibrofiz

Caroline_a wrote: »

What always makes me smile now is that the most untidy of the 3 of them is seriously houseproud now that she has her own house!

I may not live to see the day

Can't shut the bedroom door as it's an old house and the door's warped - may need to enlist friends son who's a carpenter methinks

olibrofiz

j.e.j. wrote: »

How old is she? If she's a teen she's 16 I''m guessing she's old enough to work a washing machine, so she has a choice: do it herself or go to school/round to her mates in dirty clothes she's been wearing the same dirty clothes for the last 3 weeks without a care in the world...

There's no reason you should have to live in a pig-sty (!!) so maybe try withdrawing priveleges (stop funding her haircuts hairdresser, I do her hair/make-up - she buys her own out of an allowance/fashion clothes, etc?) if you can't reason with her re. not leaving rubbish everywhere. Of course she might then just go to her dad to ask for things, so you might need to present a 'united front' there.

Ahhhh, you've given me a thought re her allowance.

Sambucus_Nigra

olibrofiz wrote: »

Ahhhh, you've given me a thought re her allowance.

The allowance that you have spent this weekend on a cleaner?

Blue_Elephant

I shouldn't laugh but...

I was like that, and my mum was REALLY houseproud, bordering on OCD (I'm not saying you are by the way), so much so she'd try to tidy my toys away while I was still playing with them and the dinner plates while I was still eating hehe. And then I became the properly messy teenager, and drove my mum nuts with the state of my room. I did my own washing, and had a washing basket in my room, but my clothes were still all over the floor along with clean clothes, plates, glasses, random bits of food left for a while, you get the picture.

Oh my, are the parents getting their own back now. Between a combination of chilling out a bit and not being physically able to do as much, they care a lot less. But also keep leaving things untidy/out of place and not tidying up after themselves. Not even wiping a duster around every so often, and mum leaves hairdye all over the tiles...

And it's driving me potty!! Thought you'd like to know, someone, somewhere, is getting their own back.

Having to reapply for your own job is pretty pants. Focus on the fact that you've done it well for 11 years, focus on all those things you do that are "above and beyond" that you've always done just because they needed doing. Stop being angry about the fact that you have to reapply, or this will cloud your mind in the interview. Pretend it's for a brand new job. Show your knowledge of the company and its values (it must have some). Make sure you know your competencies backwards, and show them how you meet them effortlessly (even if it requires effort). Most of all be yourself - they're screwed, that's why they're doing this, and they DON'T want to lose the staff who have bent over backwards for them.

Good luck!

Nicki

My mum used to wait until I was just about to go out to meet friends/party/disco etc and tell me I wasn't allowed to go until my room was tidy. Not sure I recommend this as I used to really hate her for it, but I guess it did mean that my room did get tidied

I wouldn't wash unless clothes were put in the hamper and if 3 weeks worth of clothes got put in at once, she could wash and iron them herself. I'd also just move any crud left in other parts of the house into her bedroom and close the door and leave her to cope with it herself. Maybe have a prearranged inspection once a month or so like a landlords one and have a sanction if the place is a pigsty then?

olibrofiz

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

The allowance that you have spent this weekend on a cleaner?

lol, excellent - I borrowed £10 cash off her, so think I will say that's payment for being her skivvy this weekend.

On the subject of her allowance - she spends it all in the first week then borrows off her friends - will not listen to any money saving advice at all.