A Thread for After Debt?

Little_bit_dizzy

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

Dizzy I gave her a huge cuddle and lots of kisses for you

Yayy, thank you :dance: I think the gift for DS is just lovely - I'm sure he'll love it.

girlatplay wrote: »

Diz I had a nightmare of an ex too. I was a single parent for 7 years after we left him. In those 7 years Little Miss Gap and I managed to survive and claw our way out of the deep, dark hole we were in. Mr G came along about 3-4 years ago and as we lived in separate houses, we had separate finances. He now lives with us but I refuse (not that we have ever discussed it but I would refuse if he suggested it) to have joint finances. I have worked far too hard and far to long to get where I am today and I won't put myself in a position where someone could take it away from me. Also, a couple of years ago Mr G was made bankrupt so his credit rating is rubbish. Because I have worked my a$$ off, my credit rating is now reasonable. Sometimes we argue about who paid for what which I suppose wouldn't happen if we had joint finances but I just couldn't do it.

It's amazing just what you can achieve... Don't know about you, but it made me a million times stronger!

girlatplay

Little_bit_dizzy wrote: »

It's amazing just what you can achieve... Don't know about you, but it made me a million times stronger!

Absolutely! I didn't really think about it at first until people started coming up to me and telling me what a brave, strong person I was :rotfl: I wasn't brave or strong, I just had to get on with it But yes, I am a million times stronger these days.

rising_from_the_ashes

Little_bit_dizzy wrote: »

Oh dear. Just watched DIY SOS on the telly. DH and I are both sat here sobbing - God we're both so soppy!

Ohhhhhhhh I've yet to watch it - will have the box of tissues at the ready!:o

Sorry to hear hubby's been "through the wars"

Re couples and finances .... I guess it depends on previous circumstances etc, I know I'd find it very difficult to let go a bit after so long clearing all my debts (Sam - Wow! BTW:j) although I could probably stretch to a joint account for household expenditure.....

QueenB (((hugs))) - sounds like your having "my November" and to JG too - why does everything always happen at once!:(

Updated my spreadsheet last night & my "others" budget is overspent this month - have bought a couple of new tops for work (£30 reduced to 6 and £28 to £13) which were desperately needed / had a trip to the dentist and bought an electric toothbrush .... hope to have a low spend month in Feb!:)

JulieGeorgiana

DH and I have bitten the bullet and taken £50 out of the savings for the windscreen wiper/break lights/over spend! We figured that things should settle down again! I HATE doing that, it's been ages since i've had to do so!

Managed to sort out loads of Eliza's paperwork today (Dr's, Child Benefits etc) and will get it all sorted after I register the birth on Saturday.

Then I started filling in her baby book (I never did DS very well... and I always regretted it because you forget a lot).

GAP and Dizzy I do hope so... he's such a sweet boy... don't know if I can wait 12 days for it to arrive!!! I want to see his face!

SOT2011

What a lovely gift for DS.

Just watched DIY SOS that I had recorded. Tissues were at the ready and very much needed. It is so lovely to see people pulling together to do so much for families in need!

Having quiche for tea, not on meal plan but realised the date was way shorter than I realised so it won 't keep till saturday as intended. Not really what I fancied but better than chucking it out and the planned meal will keep till I am ready as is a store cupboard risotto.

My ex-oh was a bit of a money nightmare, he tried most of the time but then couldn't understand why I went mad when he went out with mates just days after saying he couldn't afford to contribute to the grocery budget that month. Used to drive me :mad:

MunniMuncha

Evening everyone - haven't been on here the last couple of days so just had a catch up!

Am really pleased with myself as this is the first month since I care to remember that I don't have a credit card bill to pay - woohoo! :j:j:jI have been really good and not spending on my credit card (see previous post) which has been a bit of Martin's Mantra :money:'need or want' and also just not spending. Am only £119 over my food and petrol budget too - normally go around £350 over budget, so in the last month or so (and particularly since rejoining this thread) things are looking up.:T

Glad to see everyone is doing well and well done LBD for your lovely payrise, which is refreshing to see in this day and age as all you hear about is paycuts/freezes :T

samtoby

Yes JG it was a lot of debt. Most of it got paid in house equity I was left about 30k to pay off alone but I didn't do debt managaement I just paid minimum on all things except one which I chunked off. It was so hard I had no life; no money and no one could understand. x

JulieGeorgiana

Sam but you did it, and did it well. You should be proud of what you achieved, with or without equity, it's a strong person who sacrifices everything to clear it faster.

Mine and DH debts were £30k and we never went to debt management either. So we have clear credit scores

samtoby

It still upsets me that I had it all very young and I lost it all to start again. x

niccatw

Then whenever you start to feel that way Samtoby, you need to catch yourself, stop and remind yourself of where you are now. Look at at what you have acheived and just how much you have already saved for a house deposit!

My debt was about 34k at my first lightbulb moment and I've cleared it the same way as you and JG. At first I would get really upset because it is hard and it is lonely and it is scary, but also because I didn't understand the balance between giving up everything I needed to but necessity of paying out for some small treats to keep me sane. I think I spent too much time thinking about where I could be if I didn't have so much to pay off ans staring at numbers, that I made myself sick. It's a long, hard, steep learning curve - but we did it (uhm, ok, so I've got a wee bit to go, but shhh Nearly there) and we need to remember that.

Be proud of where you are now Samytoby! You deserve to be!