A Thread for After Debt?

samtoby

It was a terrible time. I had no life for years and even now with hardly any credit I get so frightend of getting back into that spiral. I have moved back in with my Mum to get my mortgage I am a bit scared that no one will touch me because of my defaults but as they are all paid I have been advised that with at least a 15% deposit I should be ok. My Mum doesn't have a mortgage and is happy to come on with me (she is 50) as we have been informed that there are some companies that actually take mortgages up until retirement and beyond. So I can safely say I will be ok. I am hoping that my partner will want to come on a mortgage with me but we are early days and I just don't want to jinx something that could go wrong. (I always look on bad side)

I had a touch year last year beginning of the year I lost my baby (tears in eyes when writing this) with my ex partner who to be honest was a nightmare and really made me feel low about my money situation; being a single Mum etc. When I found out I was pregnant I was gutted because I knew our relationship would not last but I wanted my baby. It was not planned and it was not something that was the best for us all but these situations are meant to try you. I lost my baby then broke with my partner and lost my Dad. So its all been bery heavy. Saving has been a target for me to carry on for me and my DS.

xx

girlatplay

Oh Sam. You have got me in tears here. Your situation is very similar to mine. It has taken me in total 9 years to get to today (from when I left XOH). It has been so hard along the way. Lost a baby when I was still with him, moved back in with my parents when I left him, had loads of debt and a bad credit rating. Making a better life for Little Miss Gap and I has been my focus and I really have improved it! If you ever want a chat just PM me

AlyBaly

samtoby I know we all have times where things get to us but just look at your signature to see how well you have done. We all have regrets of some sort or another but it is what you do with the rest of your life that matters now sending {{{HUGS ))}


girlatplay well done on your achievement


MunniMuncha well done on reducing your overspending this month , not easy in January !

JG love the gift, it has given me an idea for a pressie I need to buy and its not too expensive either!


QueenB. Unexpected bills should be banned !!!

A wave to all the other Debt Free peeps xxx :wave:

rising_from_the_ashes

SOT2011 wrote: »

Just watched DIY SOS that I had recorded. Tissues were at the ready and very much needed. It is so lovely to see people pulling together to do so much for families in need!

I've watched it too and also went through several tissues .

However .... and in no way at all meaning that anyone who's been on the programme doesn't deserve the builds - but I did actually prefer the programme when it was just the one room they did.

When the "big build" first appeared it was made out that it was a one or two special programmes but now every programme seems to be like this - almost like they've tried to turn it into Extreme Make*over Home E*dition (is that me?).

It must cost a huge amount more and TBH I'm afraid that as a licence fee payer I'm not really sure that's what I want my money going towards.....(sorry, again no offence to anyone).

I'd much rather they did twice as many single rooms / helped twice as many people for the same money.....:(

niccatw wrote: »

I've cleared it the same way as you and JG. At first I would get really upset because it is hard and it is lonely and it is scary, but also because I didn't understand the balance between giving up everything I needed to but necessity of paying out for some small treats to keep me sane. I think I spent too much time thinking about where I could be if I didn't have so much to pay off ans staring at numbers, that I made myself sick. It's a long, hard, steep learning curve - but we did it (uhm, ok, so I've got a wee bit to go, but shhh Nearly there) and we need to remember that.

Snap! I was a dig in and slog it out on my own too .... however, now it's gone, I feel a bit proud of myself and think we all should .... so ...... :T:T well done to all of us!

We did it - and with the help and support on here - we'll never be there again!


Sam, GAP (((hugs))) - and JG too as I know you very sadly suffered sevearl miscarriages and QueenB (I think I remember something you said a while back - huge apologies if not) .... I can't even imagine how you managed to cope with such a difficult loss.

On a brighter note - it's Friday:D Just back from a *sigh* lovely massage (can't spend too long on lappy or it'll undo all the hardwork) - it's a mix of a treat to myself and a necessity as with my arthritis / fibromyalga my back gets really sore and it helps a lot so ... to me .... worth sacrifcing a couple of things to pay for.

Aims for weekend:

• Spend as little as poss at sm tomorrow (really only need milk, bread, veg)
• Update spreadsheet / review budgets
• Work on Feb's budget
• Try to find more free books for the Kindle
• Cook something nice for dinner (have been on freezer meals all week as just don't seem to have had time to do anything)
• Find a nice simple pattern to knit something useful!

DM brought me some lovely old books the other week which my auntie used to make the Beatrix Potter characters when I was little (so we're talking 30 years:eek:). Thought I might have a bash later this year but want to have a look through and get some ideas - can't really sew anything until I get a table for the sewing machine .....

Have a great weekend everyone:)

girlatplay

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

On a brighter note - it's Friday:D

Ohhhh yes, I can't even begin to explain how happy that makes me :beer:

AlyBaly

Aims for weekend:
Spend as little as poss at sm tomorrow (really only need milk, bread, veg)
Update spreadsheet / review budgets
Work on Feb's budget
Try to find more free books for the Kindle
Cook something nice for dinner (have been on freezer meals all week as just don't seem to have had time to do anything)
Find a nice simple pattern to knit something useful!

Rising we had a cooking day on Sunday, made all the meals for the week then froze them. It has made such a difference. I have not even eaten half a packet of biscuits because I am so hungry while waiting for the tea to cooks so it helps with the much needed diet too.

I love knitting but not done much recently, you have put me in the mood to get the knitting needles back out now !

niccatw

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

I've watched it too and also went through several tissues .

However .... and in no way at all meaning that anyone who's been on the programme doesn't deserve the builds - but I did actually prefer the programme when it was just the one room they did.

When the "big build" first appeared it was made out that it was a one or two special programmes but now every programme seems to be like this - almost like they've tried to turn it into Extreme Make*over Home E*dition (is that me?).

It must cost a huge amount more and TBH I'm afraid that as a licence fee payer I'm not really sure that's what I want my money going towards.....(sorry, again no offence to anyone).

I'd much rather they did twice as many single rooms / helped twice as many people for the same money.....:(

Having being involved in helping on one of the DIY SOS Big Build's I can verify that all the local contractors give their time for nothing, and that the DIY SOS team are adept at negotaiting a good price or free furnitiure etc from the local shops. They compile a list of all the local businseses that helped and distibute this freely - a lot of people know it's happeneing and stop by to ask. So in this respect, it's great for the community.

I don't know if it's true, but Nick Knowles told us that the budget for the complete DIY SOS Big Build was less than some of big names (ie. Graham Norton or Jonathan Ross) get per hour :eek:. And that in terms of production, the same cost is involved in one room as a build. I gues that would mean if you did double the amount of people at only one room, your build costs might go down, but your production costs go up. They have a very strict budget and they don't go over it so if something goes wrong with the build and it costs more, your decor might be less fancy than they originally wanted.

Certainly all us volunteers paid our own way in terms of travel and digs.

Not at all offended, it's a very valid point. I had a blast and it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done! The way the community rallied around to support people they don't know but whom they know are in need is just phenomenal to see.

SOT2011

Thanks for that detail Niccatw, I'll admit to the same wonderings as Rising re: costs etc so is good to get an inside view.

Big hugs to all our lovely peeps on the thread who have come through such tough times :grouphug:

Rising - I'm sure i saw on someone's diary today a message about a site you can sign up to and they send you a daily email with the new free kindle books that are available. I'm on my phone now so cannot get search to work for me but I'll have a look tomorrow when I am on the laptop. I want to find it too, only got the app for my phone atm but think it might be what I use my sealed pot for when it is totally full.

Happy weekend all. I have loads of OU work to do so i shall be procrastinating merrily as usual and popping in on here to treat myself for each chunk I successfully get done :rotfl:

samtoby

Found that really hard sharing that. But writing things down helps me remember where I was and where I am now. Thanks everyone xx

samtoby

All the angels look down upon us to protect and guide x