A Thread for After Debt?

AlyBaly

Like the butterfly emerges
from it's cocoon
Like the bud of a rose
getting ready to bloom

Your spirit is set free
spread your wings and take flight
He's waiting for you
go into the light

I'll cry for awhile
maybe for years
Until I hold you in heaven
Where there are no more tears

Love to you all Aly xxx

AlyBaly

Right I am on a mission today.....

1. set up my Direct Debit to put my 1st amount into a SAVINGS account :j

2. Read at least 3 areas of MSE Forums that I have not read before to see what other hints and tips I am missing

3. Find at least 3 items to sell on ebay !

rising_from_the_ashes

niccatw wrote: »

Having being involved in helping on one of the DIY SOS Big Build's I can verify that all the local contractors give their time for nothing, and that the DIY SOS team are adept at negotaiting a good price or free furnitiure etc from the local shops. They compile a list of all the local businseses that helped and distibute this freely - a lot of people know it's happeneing and stop by to ask. So in this respect, it's great for the community.

I don't know if it's true, but Nick Knowles told us that the budget for the complete DIY SOS Big Build was less than some of big names (ie. Graham Norton or Jonathan Ross) get per hour :eek:. And that in terms of production, the same cost is involved in one room as a build. I gues that would mean if you did double the amount of people at only one room, your build costs might go down, but your production costs go up. They have a very strict budget and they don't go over it so if something goes wrong with the build and it costs more, your decor might be less fancy than they originally wanted.

Certainly all us volunteers paid our own way in terms of travel and digs.

Not at all offended, it's a very valid point. I had a blast and it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done! The way the community rallied around to support people they don't know but whom they know are in need is just phenomenal to see.

Thanks niccatw - I did know the volunteers gave their time for free etc but still struggling to get my head around a whole house costing less than a room .... but can see with relocating the production crew etc this would hugely drive up costs..... still preferred the one room tho':o

SOT2011 wrote: »

Rising - I'm sure i saw on someone's diary today a message about a site you can sign up to and they send you a daily email with the new free kindle books that are available. I'm on my phone now so cannot get search to work for me but I'll have a look tomorrow when I am on the laptop.

That would be brilliant SOT!

Aly :j to the DD to the savings account!:D

I need to go to the library to get a book I've had on reserve pending it's publication for several months - finally in!:D

Fell asleep on the sofa last night around 7:30 - woke up at 8:30 and went to bed and straight back to sleep:o. Only downside is that I've been awake since 3:eek: (rarely sleep more than 6 hours so that's pretty good going for me) but may need a nap this afternoon or it'll be the same story tonight!:)

Need to sort the renewal for my breakdown cover today too.

Have played around with my budgets a bit and have somehow managed to add £1k to my expenditure:eek: but I'm sure that's now everything included even things like the window cleaner, dentists visits, massages etc that I'd not got on before:o

QueenB.

Morning everyone:)

DS1 is ill, had to pick him up from school yesterday (wouldn't have been able to do when working) he has an immunity problem so this time of year is always difficult for him and he was up most of the night with extreme night terrors due to his temperature. Me and OH took it in turns to stay with him but poor OH is exhausted and has work in a few hours.

Listening to some of your stories I understand why you keep money seperate. Its made me grateful, again, for my OH. We have been together since we where teenagers and celebrated our 21st anniversary a few months ago. we had our DD as teenagers and life has been a struggle since, always seemed to be something that kept us down when we tried to push up. Thanks to him he became a house husband for a short while so I could still go to college and he worked hard so I could go on to uni but then life really turned upside down when DS1 was born with a multitude of special needs and life long medical conditions. Can't tell you how many times we thought we would lose him and I had to give up everything to be a full time carer (without any benefits). OH is not perfect but he works hard and tries hard and his family is all he thinks about.

We had no debt until DS1 was born (long complex story) it was managable for a few years but by my LBM 2006 we where in a dark place with over £30 thou in debt and only £15 coming in a year:eek: I had no real family support as it was only my dad by this point and he lived abroad (but he did what he could) Then 4 years ago he died and I realised that basically Im on my own, no family to help us, no one to turn to (OH parents are nice but we are not close). So at 31 with no family except my OH and kids I knew i had to get DF as soon as possible. Helped me through the grief as I had a focus. We have had so many low moments in debt, every day I felt like a failure as a mum and that sort of stays with you, but one moment I remember clearly was when I found out about a treatment course. It was meant to help children with special needs, certainly wouldn't be a cure all but looked like it might help some of DS1 needs, making his life a tad easier. But the whole thing would cost £2000:eek: we didn't have the money, or the credit and no one we could ask for help. I cried for a month thinking about how my own actions meant i couldn't help my son. I later found out the programme was no longer being used which made me grateful that i hadn't paid all that money out but at the time I was inconsolable.

Having a disabled child with many complex needs is a constant worry as he may never be able to live independently or find work to support himself so we will be his main home/support for as long as we live, after that i don't know hopefully my DD will be able to care for him. So we have to have money to fall back on, we need to stay DF because he needs us, add to that DD and DS2 and my balancing act is on going. But yes we are stronger for all the above and a lot greyer (I started to go grey in my mid 20's) :rotfl:

Sorry ranty tale over with, think lack of sleep has left me a bit emotional:o

backinbusiness

Morning all.

Queen B - so sorry you are feeling rotten this morning - you should be very proud of what you're doing! Chin up.

Seems a lot of us have had some tough times, but come out the other side stronger and wiser! (and tighter!!) But deffo NOT older!

No news on the £500 credit. I've text and emailed, but no reply - so sitting tight on it. Bit frustrating actually.

Unexpected bills SHOULD be banned - LOL. Last Fri the car had £130 (net) of work done on it - this Fri (ie yesterday) handbrake light came on and had to go back for £75 worth of work. Brake fluid leak - easily fixed and obviously extremely neccesary, but aarrgghhhhhh!!

I've paid a £50 deposit for DD1's school trip, but it looks like it will be oversubscribed, and as she's been before she'll get "bumped" this time, so offsetting that against the garage bill £25 (net). It might be cheating, but it makes me feel better!!

Also I don't get that panicked feeling when something goes wrong either with the car or in the house - you know the one - "How the hell am I going to pay for this??".

Now the feeling is "Well at least I can pay for this - but I don't WANT TO!!".

Very nearly a year since debt-free day - just off to check the exact date. IT WAS THE 15TH AND I MISSED IT!!

Have a great day all.

BiB

rising_from_the_ashes

QueenB (((hugs))) hope DS is a bit better now? & that you're feeling a bit better - tiredness always makes me very emotional too.

backinbusiness wrote: »

Unexpected bills SHOULD be banned - LOL. Last Fri the car had £130 (net) of work done on it - this Fri (ie yesterday) handbrake light came on and had to go back for £75 worth of work. Brake fluid leak - easily fixed and obviously extremely neccesary, but aarrgghhhhhh!

Totally agree - ban unexpected bills!:)

Just opened the cc bill and am a bit p'd off - I changed the cut off date last month (to avoid the dd min being taken from my account as it came off before I was paid & therefore before I could pay the bill in full - which I always do).

Was told the new cut off was the 14th ..... however, got fuel on the 15th (was on fumes so couldn't leave it longer) and that's showing .... as well as the dentist's bill on the 16th :mad: so it's nearly £100 more than I was expecting .

Still it's a lot better than the near £1300 one last month:eek: and should hopefully mean it'll be less than usual next month as I'll already have paid for the fuel/dentist - just means Feb budget will need some more jiggling!:o

Little_bit_dizzy

Hi everyone.

Wow, just caught up properly on everyones posts. Firstly, massive hugs to everyone who wants or needs them and secondly, what in incredible bunch of people we all make. So many stories, all very difficult and heart wrenching in their own ways. Bib, I think you hit the nail on the head - these things have without doubt made us so much stronger & wiser.


It's MIL's birthday tomorrow so we're out to the local Indian with them tonight. I'm really looking forward to it, I love Indian food. Even better that I put the money for it away at the start of the month

QueenB.

backinbusiness wrote: »

Morning all.

Queen B - so sorry you are feeling rotten this morning - you should be very proud of what you're doing! Chin up.

Seems a lot of us have had some tough times, but come out the other side stronger and wiser! (and tighter!!) But deffo NOT older!

No news on the £500 credit. I've text and emailed, but no reply - so sitting tight on it. Bit frustrating actually.

Unexpected bills SHOULD be banned - LOL. Last Fri the car had £130 (net) of work done on it - this Fri (ie yesterday) handbrake light came on and had to go back for £75 worth of work. Brake fluid leak - easily fixed and obviously extremely neccesary, but aarrgghhhhhh!!

I've paid a £50 deposit for DD1's school trip, but it looks like it will be oversubscribed, and as she's been before she'll get "bumped" this time, so offsetting that against the garage bill £25 (net). It might be cheating, but it makes me feel better!!

Also I don't get that panicked feeling when something goes wrong either with the car or in the house - you know the one - "How the hell am I going to pay for this??".

Now the feeling is "Well at least I can pay for this - but I don't WANT TO!!".

Very nearly a year since debt-free day - just off to check the exact date. IT WAS THE 15TH AND I MISSED IT!!

Have a great day all.

BiB

Congrats on the 1 year anniversary:T

I completely agree with the feeling of being able to pay but not wanting to:D not that i have a lot in savings but, barely anything but its there and has come in handy several times. Even though I know it is there for emergencies when I have actually had to use it it really takes a lot to do so.

I second the idea that unexpected bills should be banned. How are we supposed to budget and put money aside when things keep cropping up but we keep juggling and smilling and jumping those hurrdles........maybe we should create our own olympic sports:rotfl:

Speed budgeting, spreadsheet creation, batch cooking.......just a start.

Dizzy Enjoy your meal out tonight:)

backinbusiness

Queen B - lol! Olympic Sports.

How would they decide the Olympic Gold medal for Spreadsheet "Tweaking", or even Spreadsheet Staring!!!

Hate parting with money from savings, but can't cut corners when it comes to brake fluid!!

And also, that £500 . . . It wasn't meant for me. She clicked on my details accidentally instead of her decorator!! She has my details 'cos she sometimes sends the sprogs money for Christmas.

Oh well, never mind.

Have a good afternoon all.

BiB

Little_bit_dizzy

QueenB. wrote: »

Congrats on the payrise that is a rare piece of good news in these times:T

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

Congrats on the payrise!!! Yay you xxx

Thanks for the comments, it's nice to be able to share the news and recieve positive comments. A RL friend was actually quite scathing in her response. I remember earlier in the thread it was commented that once you become DF, people can sometimes make assumptions regarding your finances. Similar circumstance really, and a shame as it makes you questions friendships...

Anyway, rising, despite the unexpected transactions on the CC it sounds like you've made real progress this month.

Bib, it would be nice for you to hear something in response to your text & email. Maybe you'll hear something over the weekend... Hopefully the car will remain 'up together' for a while now - and yes the brakes very essential I'd say

QueenB, rant away whenever you need to. It sounds like you've had some trying times over the years and if it helps to offload it all, just go for it.

Same applies to samtoby, and my life, you've done an incredible job Sam and you can hold your head high. How did the job application go - have you done it yet?

Aly, I need some of your motivation today. I think it's free Ebay weekend so like you, I need to clear a little bit more out.

Shopping after work this afternoon (or possibly tomorrow am) as Mr T gave me a £6 off £40 shop voucher and tomorrow is the last day. I'm not missing out on 15% off even though I hate going there, so will have to bite the bullet!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone