Is this rude, or is it just me?!?

Birdy12

QuackQuackOops wrote: »

Some people don't always reply and you will always find that with every party you have.
So, you should always cater for the ones you invite unless you know they are not coming for definite.

What? you would cater for, say, 10 people who haven't bothered responding only to find that they don't bother turning up anyway so you're out of pocket because you've bought for these 10 extra who couldn't be bothered to part with 12p on a text? I don't think so.

As for complaining about cards or presents, I think that is quite a selfish attitude.

I do agree, on this point. You invite a person to be there, not a present. If you have a party and you receive presents but you think they're all crap, well, why bother having a party at all then? Surely you should be having a good time, not dwelling on the presents (or lack of).

When you invite a child to a party you are inviting them to come and make YOUR child's birthday good fun. Expecting a return on that is wrong imo. Having said that, I dont agree with party bags either. A child should not come to a party expecting to be sent home with a bag of stuff, but that is a trend that pretentious Mothers have long since set. Not everyone has money spare for party bags.

Again, agree. I've hosted parties for DS and DD where the children stand at the door before going waiting for their bag! (My two are guilty of this also )

I gave up party pags about 2 years ago. My son's parties, in particular, were getting more expensive per child, i.e., an outdoor laser party, so I informed the parent beforehand that I wouldn't be doing party bags but they'd be leaving with a piece of cake and some memories! Luckily, I know the majority of parents well and they were fine with it. It was tough if they weren't!

jellyhead

I once made somebody pay for their own kids at my toddler's party. We had invited their toddler, not their entire family. They didn't reply in any way so I wasn't expecting their toddler, let alone siblings. Theirs wasn't the only toddler to turn up without replying, either! The venue refused to allow the siblings to join in the party because they had a strict maximum, so the parents had to pay for the siblings to enter the venue and they didn't get a party bag or food - I did cut them some cake though.

I find that parents usually at least offer to pay for siblings to join in though - how rude not to even offer!

Moominmamma

Birdy12, I'd just like to reiterate, and you'll see from my op, that this isn't at all about presents, or the lack of them, I did indeed arrange my dd's party so that she and her friends could have some fun together.

The main point of my post was the rudeness (imo) that many parents have shown in not bothering to respond to the invite and just turning up on the day.

And yes, frankly I do think that anyone who came to the party should have brought a card, as Bailey so rightly points out it's simply a matter of etiquette.

Birdy12

Moominmamma wrote: »

Birdy12, I'd just like to reiterate, and you'll see from my op, that this isn't at all about presents, or the lack of them, I did indeed arrange my dd's party so that she and her friends could have some fun together.

Oh Blimey, I wasn't pointing the finger at you on this particular point.

It was a general response .

No offence meant personally. I'm in agreement with you that people should respond to a party invite, whether they can go or not.

onlyroz

I am stunned that so many people expect a present off everybody they invite to their party. A gift is NOT something that you demand or expect - it's something that you might hope for, and will graciously accept, but it is not a right.

I am sure that the vast majority of people attending a party will bring a small gift or a card, but it seems very wrong for the host to grumble if they don't get one.

sassyblue

*max* wrote: »

Thank you cards for children's birthday parties are way over the top IMO. What's wrong with the kid simply saying "thank you" as he receives the gift? If the gift was sent by post, then yes, I would expect a phone call or other acknowledgement, but when the gift is given in person? Way OTT! By any means feel free to do it yourself, but it's really unfair to expect it of others and criticise them if they don't do it.

Really? I make sure l always send them, how can saying thank you by letter be OTT?

I want my child to appreciate being given a gift, if it was a favour being done then a verbal thank you is fine but for a physical gift it has to have a little letter of thanks.

There was a thread about this a little while ago, it IS out or order not to respond to a party invite but some people just don't have manners or are too busy to remember their manners!

Having said that l forgot to RSVP one couple of weeks ago, l was mortified when the mum asked me at school, and we'd even had a conversation about this, moaning about it. Luckily she is a good friend and saw the funny side. I was going to tell her 'yes' at school but then DS came down with tonsillitus and was off all week and it slipped my mind. :eek:

Kaye1

On slightly different yet same topic (!!) I recently took my LO to her first birthday party where the whole class was invited. She is 4 but almost 5, there was probably about 30 children there and well organised. My problem was that I fully expected to turn up, loiter in the background but didn't expect that I would be leaving my child for 2 hours.

We get there and there is one little girl who is just 4 (youngest in the class) who has just started school. She didn't attend the school pre-school so we didn't really know her- and her mum just left her. It was evident that she was completely overwhelmed and quite upset. I was mortified and the organiser didn't really know her either, so myself and some of the other mums spent the two hours shepherding her around and trying to make her party enjoyable. Now, I have no problem doing that and she was very sweet- but I couldn't believe she had just been dumped like that. I had hoped to catch the mum to say that she had got a little upset but she just swept in, took child and goodie bag and left. Rude!

sassyblue

kaye, as someone who struggled for years to get my child l would say, poor kid having a 'mother' like that. :eek: No excuses that's disgusting.

gratefulforhelp_2

I've just noticed someone do that at a party with a 4 year old...she then made a fuss about me leaving my 8 year old at her daughter's party where none of the parents stayed.

Spendless

Is it possible that the 'no birthday card' guest gave a birthday card to the other child? You said it was a joint party. There are triplets in my son's year and their mum always did an invite that read:

Dear Jane..you are invited to my party at x from Triplet A
Dear Susan...you are invited to my party at x from Triplet B
Dear fred..you are invited to my party at x from Triplet C

That way, you only bought ONE card and pressie, for the triplet that invited you. Could it be that people have done similar depending on how the invite was worded or who handed the invite out?

ETA- I forgot to say my son went to a joint swimming party once, which was a whole year (80 kids) plus siblings and parents if they wanted to join in and the mums instead of giving out party bags at end had a few big boxes of crisps (the 48 packs ones) plus small bottles of drinks to give instead. I thought that a fab idea. Your're always hungry and thirsty after swimming.