WWYD having to pay for child to go to party

smorie

my daughter is 6. iv done her a party every year. and i always get stragglers. this year i planned ahead and made extra party bags. only 3people who were invited didnt turn up. we had plenty of food. some parents stayed which is fine i had 40kids there. but there was one family who we had invited the boy and his older brother brought him and asked if he was ok to leave him. i said yes thats fine come back at 2pm to collect him. he left i turnt round and he'd left the little sister (2yrs ish) too who proceeded to cry at every opportunity. next year she will probably have a party and il probably get stragglers again too. unfortunately dd is an only child so i cant repay the compliment unless i borrow a child lol. but my daughter loved her party felt really popular so many had turnt up and at the end of the day thats wat matters.

gratefulforhelp_2

I've read lots of posters suggesting the OP take a packed lunch for her youngest, if that's ok at the venue, then is there any reason the OP's "friend" couldn't do that as host?

Bumpmakesfour

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

I've read lots of posters suggesting the OP take a packed lunch for her youngest, if that's ok at the venue, then is there any reason the OP's "friend" couldn't do that as host?

So on top of the invitations,party bags,general organising,cake making,present wrapping,supervising of kids left by parents at the party you think the host should be making a pack up for her friends 18 month old?Really?
The toddler would probably be so busy in the soft play they'd have to be chased round to eat more than a mouthful of cheese sandwich:p

Bumpmakesfour

smorie wrote: »

my daughter is 6. iv done her a party every year. and i always get stragglers. this year i planned ahead and made extra party bags. only 3people who were invited didnt turn up. we had plenty of food. some parents stayed which is fine i had 40kids there. but there was one family who we had invited the boy and his older brother brought him and asked if he was ok to leave him. i said yes thats fine come back at 2pm to collect him. he left i turnt round and he'd left the little sister (2yrs ish) too who proceeded to cry at every opportunity. next year she will probably have a party and il probably get stragglers again too. unfortunately dd is an only child so i cant repay the compliment unless i borrow a child lol. but my daughter loved her party felt really popular so many had turnt up and at the end of the day thats wat matters.

Easily done in a hall style buffet food party We've held lots where there have been 30plus kids..42 5 and 6 year olds one year :eek: You don't mind so much then and when you're paying an entertainer £300 or whatever you want to get your moneys worth!
But at a pay per head party where they cater food/party bags/lazer guns or whatever for the exact number of booked kids that's a real pain in the bum to have unexpected "extras" turn up.

Cat1

My best friend held a soft play party for her DD. My DD was invited - they are the same age and at nursery together. I didn't have anyone able to have my other two so I offered to pay for them and my friend accepted. I know she is on a tight budget and I would be mortified if she wasn't able to invite other people as she felt she had to invite all of my tribe! As it was there were two no shows on the day and no refunds allowed so we took up the spaces - might be the same for your DD - people seem to be notorious for saying yes to parties and then not appearing.

moomoomama27

I don't see the issue!? Often mine have gone to paties at soft play cebtres, if I had to bring the others, then I would ask the jost if it was OK if I pay, and then when the party food came, I bought them a childs meal and they ate it with them or near them, depending on the rules! It's almost a silent agreement that this is done when siblings need to be there.

It wouldn't be an issue for me, sometimes one child will be invited and not the other.

Fizzpop

I really dont see the issue either i have 14 months between my middle children who have also been to playgroup etc together, but i have never ever assumed that where ever one has gone the other would go, yes your youngest has been invited but that maybe because she was worried that one wouldnt be allowed without the other

I personally think she may have been a little tactless and could have worded things differently.

gratefulforhelp_2

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

So on top of the invitations,party bags,general organising,cake making,present wrapping,supervising of kids left by parents at the party you think the host should be making a pack up for her friends 18 month old?Really?
The toddler would probably be so busy in the soft play they'd have to be chased round to eat more than a mouthful of cheese sandwich:p

All those activities you descibe do go hand in hand with running a kids' party, yes.

If all they'd need is a small cheese sandwich, then how hard is that to organise?

It's about good manners - I fully agree that the situation would be different if the toddler wasn't invited.

smorie

we had a bowling party last yr and my daughter invited the whole class plus some extras from home, cousins etc, but we paid at the end, one of my daughters friends brought his sister, she was only in a buggy, didnt join in with bowling but i offered to buy her dinner i was buying my friends (too small for bowling) daughters dinner anyway and not everyone had turnt up so i didnt mind. but i do mind when u get more than just one tagging along......
my partners friend invited his other mate and his kids to my daughters bday one yr, none of us had ever met them before. didnt bring even a card, she brought 4 extra kids the party was at home as it was only supposed to b a little toddlers tea party (she was only 2) and these kids were aged between 4 and 10. they trashed my house and ruined my daughters cake (one of them bit it) and i had to make a scene to get them to leave because they wouldnt go quietly and it spoilt my daughters day. my partner isnt friends with these people anymore either.

smorie

all i can suggest is if you know school friends have siblings then when you give invites out have a word with the parents and just let them know due to your budget you can only have who you have invited. If they would like to pay for siblings to join in then fine they can but make sure u make it clear they need to pay for food drinks etc for the extras. if they take the mick dont invite them again

....... i also have a notepad with all the kids names on it and a contact number, they aint leaving their child without leaving me their number, i always give them mine too, incase they are running late or whatever they can give me a call too. - vistaprint often do free business cards they can come in handy to give out at opportunities like this, even better if u have a business to promote, childminder, florist etc etc