WWYD having to pay for child to go to party

busiscoming2

I think she is being reasonable. I wouldn't want to pay for extra children either.

bigmomma051204

I am sure to cause offence here but why on EARTH should she pay for anything more than she can afford to or wants to?! It is HER child's party. Her 3year old has grown up and is friends with your 3year old. As another poster said, if you decided to have 12 children, would you assume she should pay for them to eat at every party she throws too??

Goodness me, just be glad that she has the money to throw a nice party and that your children are both invited. Take a lunchbox or enquire as to whether you could pay for your 18month old to eat with the others.

Pfffft! Rant over! :cool:

Bumpmakesfour

We've had this happen quite a few times as my three are all in the same school and there is 16 months seperating each.I have to say it's never bothered me and feel that if perhaps the OPs friend had explained herself a bit better it wouldn't have become an issue.The
party food bit is usually in a seperate area anyway so whilst whichever child of mine that was "properly" invited has gone off to eat I've bought something from the cafe/opened up a pack up or more likely thrown myself down various slides with the other two when the coast was clear

We've hired out soft plays etc for sole use for our kids and you pay a fee for the exclusive hire,then you pay per head for the food,which let's face it is usually crappy chicken nuggets/burgers/fries so tbh your little one isn't missing much OP!And tbh would an 18 month old actually eat 5/6/7 pounds worth of party food?
So we've invited the kids that DD/DS have chosen,paid for them to have a bday meal...then we've invited the siblings along but mentioned that as we had to pay per head there wouldn't be a space for them...BUT they get a bit of cake and I'll have spare party bags to give them or a balloon and they're usually a happy bunny.
So personally I'd see it as a free soft play session and some one on one time with your 18 month old whilst your older child is with their friends.So you have to make a sandwich to take?Or feed little one BEFORE you go?No biggie xx

OrkneyStar

I think the lady organising the party is trying her best to accomodate you, and your youngest child, she doesn't HAVE to invite any siblings you know! People behaving the way you are doing about this (and don't get me wrong, you are more than likely a great person in other ways, so this is not a general insult in you, more this one behaviour), adds to my list of reasons not to have parties for my DS (who is only 4). It is the lady and her child's day, not yours.
PS Your title is also very misleading, it sounds as though someone is having a party and asking everyone to pay, which incidentally, some folk do!

sarahevie

Thanks for your advice, I texted my friend earlier to tell her that I can't go to a party at their house for bonfire night as I'm working, and said it might be the same in Dec (as I work in retail as does OH).

She said she was really disappointed that we couldn't come next week as my girls are her daughter's best friends and would OH take them, so there's no hard feelings.

I agree the title could have been better, it was more a would you
a) take them both
b) take them both, have one not eating (which was what friend suggested)
c) Leave youngest excluded
This was too long.

I'd never exclude siblings and have had numerous to our events over the past three years, but this was how it was when I was growing up

OrkneyStar

sarahevie wrote: »

Thanks for your advice, I texted my friend earlier to tell her that I can't go to a party at their house for bonfire night as I'm working, and said it might be the same in Dec (as I work in retail as does OH).

She said she was really disappointed that we couldn't come next week as my girls are her daughter's best friends and would OH take them, so there's no hard feelings.

I agree the title could have been better, it was more a would you
a) take them both
b) take them both, have one not eating (which was what friend suggested)
c) Leave youngest excluded
This was too long.

I'd never exclude siblings and have had numerous to our events over the past three years, but this was how it was when I was growing up

I'd personally take both (but ask the party person if you can pay for the younger one if you can afford it)....but then of course if there is anyone else in the same situation they will wonder why their sibling gets no meal! I am not sure you can win, or the lady organising it. TBH she does seem to be giving you mixed feelings from what you have said up there 'best friends', yet one is not allowed to eat and the other is ? Oh I hope you get it sorted and that the kids all enjoy the party.....but remember though it is her party in the end, even if it seems a bit of a 'hassle' for you to sort out practically, and in your head! :) Kids and their social lives!!!!

shellsuit

sarahevie wrote: »

Thanks for your advice, I texted my friend earlier to tell her that I can't go to a party at their house for bonfire night as I'm working, and said it might be the same in Dec (as I work in retail as does OH).

She said she was really disappointed that we couldn't come next week as my girls are her daughter's best friends and would OH take them, so there's no hard feelings.

I agree the title could have been better, it was more a would you
a) take them both
b) take them both, have one not eating (which was what friend suggested)
c) Leave youngest excluded
This was too long.

I'd never exclude siblings and have had numerous to our events over the past three years, but this was how it was when I was growing up

I think what your friend was actually suggesting, was that she can't afford to pay for your little one, and if your little one isn't paid for, she can't have anything to eat.

You'd never exclude siblings?

How old are you 2, 3 and under?

Say that again in a few years time

Dontknowanymore

sarahevie wrote: »

Thanks for your advice, I texted my friend earlier to tell her that I can't go to a party at their house for bonfire night as I'm working, and said it might be the same in Dec (as I work in retail as does OH).

She said she was really disappointed that we couldn't come next week as my girls are her daughter's best friends and would OH take them, so there's no hard feelings.

I agree the title could have been better, it was more a would you
a) take them both
b) take them both, have one not eating (which was what friend suggested)
c) Leave youngest excluded
This was too long.

I'd never exclude siblings and have had numerous to our events over the past three years, but this was how it was when I was growing up

omg are you serious!
Why would your child be excluded if you just took it on the chin and paid for her.
Are you going to let the eldest child go?
Sorry to sound harsh but you are making a very large mountain out of a mole hill..

Millie2008_2

Gosh, children's social lives are complicated nowadays!!

When I was a child (albeit before the days of soft-play, etc), the birthday party involved the birthday child and his/her friends. If birthday child had a sibling, then the sibling might be allowed to invite a friend of their own age and the sibling's friend would fully partake in the party. That was it and yes, guests' siblings would be left out, but c'est la vie.

I would keep your youngest at home with her Dad - there will be plenty of parties for her in the future

sarahevie

I know I was just shocked, as I really thought all three of the girls were best friends, this is how we have always seen them. So for her to sort of backhandedly that DD2 wasn't included seemed a bit weird. I now see what she meant, about the cost etc.

Like I say it might be a non issue with work anyway, as we can't go bonfire night for that reason. OH won't take the girls on his own as he doesn't really know the other mums and they are going to their grandparents already arranged.

Shellsuit I know what you mean, I'll be here in five years when they are at school having these dilemmas do I include all the class, close friends etc;) I've read some of the other threads:rotfl: