WWYD having to pay for child to go to party

sarahevie

A friend of mine was discussing her party plans for her daughter in December (she's going to be 3).

She is having the party at one of those soft play places, they have paid for exclusive use of the venue. Then they have to pay an additional charge on top per child (not sure what this is for food perhaps?) I have a 3 year old, met when our daughters were newborn and see each other at least once a week.

She said to me today that for the party in December, she would like my youngest (18 months) to come but she won't be allowed to eat. When I said I didn't understand, she said she didn't want to pay for her.

Well there's no way I will let my child go to a party and not be allowed to eat when the others are. How unfair. For me she's either invited or not, how would you deal with this?

Money_maker

Sounds like she just wants your 3 year old to attend but understands the little one may come along too. No reason why she should invite and pay for every sibling. Am sure an 18 month old wont be too fussed, just take a few snacks for him/her and they can play on when the others are eating.

MarilynMonroe_2

Tbh I can kind of see her point as I presume she will be paying for your 3 yr old,and you could take a pack lunch for the younger one. AT 18 months she isnt going to be offended.
If you had 5 kids you wouldnt expect her to pay for all 5 but she would have still invited them presumably.

sarahevie

I had a party for my three year old at the same place, but we didn't get exclusive use of the venue, so only paid per child (so was considerably cheaper) and therefore we invited all siblings and paid for them all (including her own) I think this is why it has got my back up.

It was more that she said she won't be able to eat.

Blackpool_Saver

she could have put it better...

sarahevie

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

she could have put it better...

Yeah I'm thinking that too.

It's difficult with my younger one because I've been largely a SAHM and there's only 18 months between them (only one school year when they get there), so my two have always come as a package to all the toddler groups, in a way that other sibling groups haven't. So I've perhaps wrongly assumed that they would be invited together.

thistledome

sarahevie wrote: »

She said to me today that for the party in December, she would like my youngest (18 months) to come but she won't be allowed to eat. When I said I didn't understand, she said she didn't want to pay for her.

Can I ask a question?

Did you ask her if your 18 month old could go too and she replied as above. Or did she just invite the 18 month old out of the blue?

If the former, perhaps she felt a bit awkward and didn't like to say no, but doesn't really want her to go?

If the latter I think it's a bit off to invite her but refuse to pay.

Don't know what I'd do, tbh.

sarahevie

She just said to me today, I've decided to book xxxx place for xxxx bday in December, and obviously I want both your girls to come, but xxx (youngest) won't be able to eat.

She then went on to mention some other friends she was inviting (with younger siblings also invited) but it appears only mine is a problem as mine is older than theirs (who are all largely under 6 months/newborn).

I won't take her if she can't eat. At 18 months old she eats everything, she's completely weaned and walking says a few words I wouldn't exclude her in that way, it's not fair. I

I may not take her completely though, as she is a funny age for soft play. The babes in arms will be ok sitting in highchairs, prams etc. The 3 year olds will be playing but she's a bit inbetween. Bit small for a lot of the stuff, but certainly too big to sit on my knee for two hours.

MarilynMonroe_2

But would she be able to eat with the others if you pay for her yourself?
I am sure you could take a pack lunch, say she has a special diet or something if they kick up a fuss about own food brought in.

sarahevie

I'd rather pay for her to have the same as everyone else as she is used to eating the same as her sister.

Although I would take a packed lunch if allowed, so as not to cause a problem. As I could just share packed lunch with eldest's party food. So they both get a bit of party food but bulk it up with packed lunch.

fuzzybear01

It is very unlikely they will allow food to be brought in, even if the child was on a special diet. They usually cater for most eventualities and may ask you to take your child outside to eat.