I don't like my mother!

Sommer43

Mojisola wrote: »

Let the relief wash over you and remember that feeling. When the attempts are made to draw you back in, resist them - your brother has done for years, now it's your turn to live your life.

Thank you, Mojisola. I will.

anastasia666

Sorry to hear that there's even more people suffering at the hands of their mother. This time of year brings it all home to me. I split from my hubby earlier this year, and he's due to move out soon, but I've been in tears for half the day. I feel so alone. Friends on Facebook are all happy, with their families around them. And here I am, the loneliest I've ever been. I wish I had a family I could rely on, that someone really cared about me. But this is it now. It's me and my dogs and that's it. They'll never let me down or make me feel how others have done.

Sorry for being depressing. This year it's a lot harder than usual as I had my hubby and damn the world in previous years. This year he's here, but not in the same way.

Own_My_Own

Summer43
Well done !

I broke all contact last night with my mother. She is an alcoholic and can be very abusive. My dad left 12 years ago(not her fault), my sister has only just started to speak to her again after nearly 7 years (again not her fault).

I had a big blow up with her a couple of weeks ago, but as she was drunk, she forgot about it the next day. We were supposed to be going there for dinner today. I have had her here every Christmas for the last 12 years, and it has been hell.
She seems to think because I am on my own with 2 children, I need her.
Anyway she phoned yesterday to ask me to bring kitchen towel with me and she was hardly able to speak, she was so drunk. I told her we would not be coming as she was drunk. She denied this, but when I said she was not sober, she became very abusive. I told her she had made her choice and she had picked alcohol over us. She said she had no choice, to which I told everyone has a choice, and I had now made mine.

At gone 11 last night she phoned to say I had ruined another Christmas she never wanted to hear my voice again. I just put the phone down again.

We are now having curry or pizza for dinner, as I have nothing for a roast in. But I don't care.
I expect she will phone again, but I continue to put the phone straight down until she gives up.

I am going to get on with my life now. I have, at the age of 39, realised she will never give the bottle up, and I am tired of it.
I have broken contact so many times before, but this time is the last time.

Hope you have a great day with your family.

muckybutt

Wow sommer ! I havent read the whole thread but I know exactly where you are coming from and I feel for you.

Two years or so ago I also cut all contact with my unpleasant mum, she too has mental health problems being a diagnosed manic depressive schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder as well just for good measure.

I have basically looked after her for most of my childhood and adult life, my father left when I was about 6 (i am now 41) and I stayed with her my brother going with my dad. Anyhow she was up n down all over the place back then being admitted back to hospital then and me being shoved off to live with my aunt.

She got really bad about 17 yearsago when my aunt passed away, she attempted to kill my sister who I have to say is also an evil !!!!! and screw the balls off the doctor, this happened the day after the funeral, I kinda saw it coming so spent the night at my fiance's house only to come home to what can only be described as a complete mess as she had also partially trashed the house as well.

Any how she was sectioned then and spent the best part of 6 months in a secure mental unit, it was there she was eventually diagnosed with everything.

Since then our relationship has also gone up and down mainly because I think she is gealous about my life - my marriage etc, she has been poisonous towards me - my wife and my new family.

She blew her top again last when my father was taken badly, so much so that it was touch and go if he was going to live, he did thank goodness, we shot down there to help out the best we could sorting out his pensions and council tax and a load more other stuff. She didnt like that one bit!

That was the straw that broke the camels back, she rang my mother in law up who at the time was looking aftermy then very poorly father in law, she basically then started to bad mouth me and my wife, the way we were irrisponsible parents and we were not fit to have a child !!!!!! that was about we have no idea, how we ignored her etc etc etc I could go on but it would make me angry if I did to be honest and well today is christmas day .

Anyhow suffice to say after that outburst I basically said up yours, this was the second time I had done this, the first time she nearly drove me to suicide - I wasnt going there again ! so said to her not to contact me in any way shape or form. She ignored that and carried on phoning etc so I barred her number, we kept getting cards letters etc all of which went on the fire.

This is actually the first time she hasnt sent a card so hopefully she's got the message she is no longer part of my life....either that or shes dead ! either way I dont give a f**k and i'm glad shes f***ed off.

Most folks look at you gone out when you say stuff like this but unless you have been through the s!!t we have no one understands.

I sometimes think about her but that just stirrs up hatred and disgust in me, I honestly wish she was dead that would be the end of it for me, a chapter of my life that thanks to her has been ruined and I shall never get back. Happy memories not one really.

I hope my little lad never has to go through anything like what ive been through.

anastasia666

Sorry to hear that Hun. I think you've done the right thing and you have your own family to think about now. Don't give her another moments thought. I hope you're having a good day with your family. Xxxxx

Own_My_Own

muckybutt wrote: »

I sometimes think about her but that just stirrs up hatred and disgust in me, I honestly wish she was dead that would be the end of it for me, a chapter of my life that thanks to her has been ruined and I shall never get back. Happy memories not one really.

I wish that all the time as well.

It will only be then, that I will know it is really over.

Sommer43

anastasia666 wrote: »

Sorry to hear that there's even more people suffering at the hands of their mother. This time of year brings it all home to me. I split from my hubby earlier this year, and he's due to move out soon, but I've been in tears for half the day. I feel so alone. Friends on Facebook are all happy, with their families around them. And here I am, the loneliest I've ever been. I wish I had a family I could rely on, that someone really cared about me. But this is it now. It's me and my dogs and that's it. They'll never let me down or make me feel how others have done.

Sorry for being depressing. This year it's a lot harder than usual as I had my hubby and damn the world in previous years. This year he's here, but not in the same way.

You're not being depressing, at this time of year, when many people use facebook to give an airbrused version of the the truth, the true spirit of Christmas for me are those people, who for whatever reason, are not afraid to say they are alone.

I shall raise my glass of non alcoholic drink to you, you're not alone. I don't know you, but you deserve a nod.

muckybutt

I needed that ! not many people outside the family know about any of that especially my suicide attempt, she just pushed and pushed untill I could take no more.

I had the pills and the drink and had the sence to phone the samaritains who sorted me that day, my in laws were / are great, sadly lost my father in law earlier in the year so feels strange him not being here today.

I saw a councellor for a few weeks after that as well which helped a fair bit, eventually we started talking again after that episode, but I made it clear to her then that if she ever did anything like that again then that would be it, well she didnt keep her word and that was that....two years ago, my brother still keeps in touch with her but from a distance as he too couldnt cope with her, my father always said why do you think I left her ? lol now I know poor !!!!!! !

Still having a great christmas sat in front of the fire waiting for the food, and watching my little lad happily playing away.

Have yourself's a great christmas as well

muckybutt

Own_My_Own wrote: »

I am going to get on with my life now. I have, at the age of 39, realised she will never give the bottle up, and I am tired of it.
I have broken contact so many times before, but this time is the last time.

Hope you have a great day with your family.

You've done the right thing, it's a hell of a blow to take, but at the end of the day it's yourself and your siblings you have to look out for.

muckybutt

anastasia666 wrote: »

Sorry to hear that there's even more people suffering at the hands of their mother. This time of year brings it all home to me. I split from my hubby earlier this year, and he's due to move out soon, but I've been in tears for half the day. I feel so alone. Friends on Facebook are all happy, with their families around them. And here I am, the loneliest I've ever been. I wish I had a family I could rely on, that someone really cared about me. But this is it now. It's me and my dogs and that's it. They'll never let me down or make me feel how others have done.

Sorry for being depressing. This year it's a lot harder than usual as I had my hubby and damn the world in previous years. This year he's here, but not in the same way.

Unfortunately theres never a good time for anything like a breakup, you most certainly are not alone - never think like that, there will always be someone worse off trust me.

Having only ever had one break up from my first girlfriend I can kind of see where you are and what you are feeling, and feel for you especially today when so much emphasis is placed on family.

You have your dogs, they need you just as much and their love is endless and always will be. As one chapter ends though another will start - new year new beginnings and all that, it will take time for the mental scars to heal but you'll get there that i'm sure of.

Chin up petal