Which way around should it be?

Torry_Quine

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Well Jesus wasn't born at this time anyway, so what's your point?

Are you saying...... that everyone who doesn't believe in Jesus being the saviour and born on this day, shouldn't join in the Christmas celebrations?

It's become in modern times, so much more than the religious holiday it once was (in the perfect past that we live in sometimes) and is a general gift giving and good will to all men time.

I would have thought, as a christian, you were more than happy for this to continue.

I agree that Jesus more than likely wasn't born then but that is the date when we remember His birth.

The problem is that for many Christmas is simply an excuse to spend money they can't afford, to eat and drink too much and generally overindulge.

I am very happy for everyone to celebrate but at least they should know and acknowledge what it is they owe the celebration to.

Sambucus_Nigra

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I am very happy for everyone to celebrate but at least they should know and acknowledge what it is they owe the celebration to.

Yes. The Winter Solstice. A truly great event, especially for us onion growers. And the start of the food growing year. I can't wait.

Torry_Quine

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Yes. The Winter Solstice. A truly great event, especially for us onion growers. And the start of the food growing year. I can't wait.

Which is four days earlier.;)

Sambucus_Nigra

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Which is four days earlier.;)

At least the Solstice actually happens. ;);)

Torry_Quine

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

At least the Solstice actually happens. ;);)

Touche. However to Christians the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus are just as real. ;)

Sambucus_Nigra

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Touche. However to Christians the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus are just as real. ;)

And getting back to the actual issue; each of us was born and as such, birth days also actually happened. Hence celebrating them each year.

We still haven't heard whether anyone has ever asked the grand parents - or is it great grandparents - why they treat one set of grandkids differently to the others.

Torry_Quine

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

And getting back to the actual issue; each of us was born and as such, birth days also actually happened. Hence celebrating them each year.

We still haven't heard whether anyone has ever asked the grand parents - or is it great grandparents - why they treat one set of grandkids differently to the others.

That's true, it does seem strange not to treat all the same. We're all Jock Tamson's bairns.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

We still haven't heard whether anyone has ever asked the grand parents - or is it great grandparents - why they treat one set of grandkids differently to the others.

Maybe they don't like his mother?


It's not the least likely explanation, after all, inlaws detest their children's chosen ones every day, and often it stretches onto the offspring of the relationship they wish wasn't happening.

Or they find the consideration of homeschool, the refusal to consider a tiny bit of childhood innocence, the focusing on something bad happening years ago as a reason to deprive (in their eyes) the child of everything relating to childhood, even the lack of faith compared to their own - and the fact that their son doesn't feel the same way, so may see it as him being dictated to - as things that contribute to their feeling that they will never be able to do things right by the mother, and so keep out of it to avoid upsetting her even more? Or as the mother is in their eyes, so dislikeable, there's no point getting attached to the child, as they are going to be brought up to be as unpleasant as its parent?



Do parents who realise a kid at the school's mother is a bit *unusual*, fall over themselves to get the child at their house, or after a few times of having their head bitten off, or a declaration of 'WE don't celebrate Christmas, as it's all a LIE and WE (being better than you, by default) won't ever lie to OUR child' do they run out of party invites just as they get to him?

Mind you, without the social aspect of school, I suppose that just doesn't happen for Homeschooled - although where there are few children being educated in that way, taking the risk of alienating the few in the area that are homeschooled (who are quite likely to be religious), it makes it even more possible that the child concerned is brought up in an adult bubble - the one thing that most homeschoolers are incredibly keen to avoid happening.




Mind you, I have known people who will, under the guise of 'honesty' and 'oh well, truth hurts' or 'I say things how they are' will destroy colleagues, partners and children with 'Why did you bother doing that? It's rubbish' before chucking projects, reports, pictures and presents in the bin in front of them. Comes under emotional abuse and bullying in most people's books, though.

mildred1978

Joho, wind your neck in, will you! I didn't come here for a debate about Christmas, for parenting advice or to be painted as some horrible person who wants to make all children miserable. As its clearly not obvious to you from what I've written here in black and white several times, let me clarify things for you.

1. We haven't celebrated Christmas for over 10 years. We didn't last year as our son was 4 months old and wouldn't have noticed. Ditto Halloween and Easter. We won't be celebrating it this year because at 16 months he won't have a clue. Not one friend or relative has had issue with that.

2. I've said that things may change in years to come. I'm keeping an open mind. As we are not home at Christmas and don't celebrate in any of the normal ways any cards we get go into the bin because we aren't there to look at them. Of course my son's future cards won't go in the bin!

3. I won't be vindictive enough to tell him outright the second he utters his first word that Santa doesn't exist. As with any of the fantasy/religion that he'll pick up from his friends (he already has plenty) I'll explain to him that that's what some people believe and that it's polite to let them do that. I certainly won't be training him to tell everyone else. That's so far beyond anything I'd ever wish that it's really laughable. My point is that I won't be encouraging him to believe in Santa. If he chooses to, that's fine, but I won't be telling him anything to encourage it.

For those asking about the great grandparents everyone else's guess is as good as mine. My MIL is the daughter that hasn't moved away, who makes sure they are okay and looks after them. Their relationship appears to be fine. They were very close to my husband and his siblings when they were younger, but for some reason none of their babies get any attention. As they live so far away it doesn't really affect us on a daily basis. I just find it a bit off,that's all. Everyone seems to be accepting that as just the way it is.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

mildred1978 wrote: »

Joho, wind your neck in, will you! I didn't come here for a debate about Christmas, for parenting advice or to be painted as some horrible person who wants to make all children miserable. As its clearly not obvious to you from what I've written here in black and white several times, let me clarify things for you.

1. We haven't celebrated Christmas for over 10 years. We didn't last year as our son was 4 months old and wouldn't have noticed. Ditto Halloween and Easter. We won't be celebrating it this year because at 16 months he won't have a clue. Not one friend or relative has had issue with that.

2. I've said that things may change in years to come. I'm keeping an open mind. As we are not home at Christmas and don't celebrate in any of the normal ways any cards we get go into the bin because we aren't there to look at them. Of course my son's future cards won't go in the bin!

3. I won't be vindictive enough to tell him outright the second he utters his first word that Santa doesn't exist. As with any of the fantasy/religion that he'll pick up from his friends (he already has plenty) I'll explain to him that that's what some people believe and that it's polite to let them do that. I certainly won't be training him to tell everyone else. That's so far beyond anything I'd ever wish that it's really laughable. My point is that I won't be encouraging him to believe in Santa. If he chooses to, that's fine, but I won't be telling him anything to encourage it.

For those asking about the great grandparents everyone else's guess is as good as mine. My MIL is the daughter that hasn't moved away, who makes sure they are okay and looks after them. Their relationship appears to be fine. They were very close to my husband and his siblings when they were younger, but for some reason none of their babies get any attention. As they live so far away it doesn't really affect us on a daily basis. I just find it a bit off,that's all. Everyone seems to be accepting that as just the way it is.

If you weren't here for advice or a debate, what were you here for?


I know - validation.


Yes, dear, you're right. Whatever it is.

[pats Mildred on head and goes to somewhere more interesting]