Mortified

MarilynMonroe_2

He's not stating the obvious at all. He's been down right rude to the op.

This is rude!
I don't get why some people say she was cheeky.
You obviously look pregnant. How was she supposed to know that you are not?
If you are large enough to look pregnant (and you are not) but people mention it to you, then that is your own fault, not anyone elses.
Its perfectly normal for one woman to say something to another woman about being pregnant but if you don't like it, then lose the extra weight.

bedpotato_2

I do not think it is rude. I think it is just honest.

If you consider it rude then that is your opinion. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

System

At least she might not have intentionally have meant to insult the OP, i've had people shout "fat b!tch" at me before.

I am overweight but that is in part due to the medication i take and i don't give a flying !!!! if they were being honest it was down right rude.

littlerat

Hmmm some people can be very very bad at judging whether a woman is pregnant or fat.

But I will say, knowing a few women with kids a lot for a couple or 3 years after seem to carry any extra weight directly where a bump is when starting. Maybe due to the strain it's put on the muscles, even if a natural birth? I can see why people make the mistake - the women doesn't even have to be overweight most of the time to look a bit pregnant!

Not something anyone should be mortified about though, I can't be totally sure but I doubt many women are as slim post-pregnancy for a couple of years. Plus it does change your body shape permanently.

coolcait

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

He's not stating the obvious at all. He's been down right rude to the op.

This is rude!
I don't get why some people say she was cheeky.
You obviously look pregnant. How was she supposed to know that you are not?
If you are large enough to look pregnant (and you are not) but people mention it to you, then that is your own fault, not anyone elses.
Its perfectly normal for one woman to say something to another woman about being pregnant but if you don't like it, then lose the extra weight.

And yet that's pretty much the approach that I took when I was asked if I was pregnant (but was just fat). My story's somewhere further up the thread.

I don't know whether it's because I accepted that my body shape was still pregnant-ish - so it was an understandable mistake for my colleagues to make. Or because they were so clearly mortified themselves - and a little bit disappointed. Or because -as I've said elsewhere on MSE - I've missed out on the angst/drama/ mortification gene! I should change my user-name to Elinor Dashwood.

Whatever the reason, I was large enough to look pregnant (although I was not). People mentioned it to me. I accepted that I looked pregnant, and that it was down to me to do something about my weight if it bothered me that people thought I was pregnant.

You will no doubt be unsurprised to hear that it didn't bother me that much! :rotfl:

I lost the weight naturally, over time. When I put it back on, through over-indulgence in fine foods and rough wine, no one ever asked me if I was pregnant. Make of that what you will.

Beetlemama

My husband said to me when we were walking home from the hairdressers that it looked like he'd be seeing someone else soon as she was expecting and I had to tell him she wasn't. He'd have been absolutely mortified if he'd said anything to the girl. So maybe your woman didn't react very well but was equally as appauled by what she'd said?

I guess people really shouldn't make personal comments, sometimes you get it right and sometimes it all goes horribly wrong.

I bumped in to a girl I sort of know at work - we work on different floors but sometimes chat via emails in the course of our work, we're sort of email friends, don't really ever see each other but I like her, anyway one day she was in our coffee room. I don't suppose I had spoken with her for three months and I'd been pregnant when we last talked, but we'd lost the baby and I'd been off work a month.

The first thing she said to me was "Well, you don't look very pregnant!" - I was one of those moments where I was so glad I found something to say, because usually I can't think of a thing. I know she meant it like "wow you're still so small" so I said "Oh it didn't work out for us, I was really bad about letting people know. So how's your world going?" and then didn't hear a single word she said while I waited for the chance to run back to my desk and have a pity party for my baby that should have been 7 months along. I know if I'd have made it difficult she would have been horrified at her mistake.

Lady_Tara

Just a quick comment that its not always as simple as "lose some weight". I've always been extremely thin (several times was asked if I was anorexic), had kids 10+ years ago and pretty much got my figure back even after having C sections, but I'd say it took me at least a year each time And I put on 3 stone with one and he was less than 5lb when born

However I have been on some medication for the past 3 years which leads to gradual weight gain, which has only gone on my stomach for some reason, so I've still got really skinny arms and legs and now "look pregnant".

I go to the gym 4 times a week, eat healthily and the doctor says it is a side effect of my meds - so what do I do - stay looking pregnant or come off the tablets which save my life?! I haven't been asked to my face if I'm pregnant but I think I will be soon!

OP please don't let her comments upset you

danlojo

I remember our estate manager saying to me, "Haven't you had that baby yet?"


'That' baby was 10 days old and was a whopping 9lb 3oz!!:eek:


Cheeky git :mad: