rant..moan..school..bullying.

pimento

My son cracked and lamped a kid who'd been bullying him for a while. He was about 14 by then.

Luckily, the whole thing was caught on the school's CCTV, so although they both got suspended for a day, they could see that he'd been prvoked. My son hit the kid so hard it knocked over a whole queue of kids outside a classroom.

Unsurprisingly, after that, the bullying stopped.

balletshoes

zoelouise88 wrote: »

Thankyou for your reply, ive contacted the education department at my local council as the school will not do anything no matter what i say or write.

Im dreading the school run tomorrow as im sure the other boys mum will not be happy that my son has caused injury to her boy.

As the school did nothing about the bullying she will probably just thinks my son hit hers without reason.

Just hope i dont get any hassel as i know as a mum myself we all believe our kids our innocent and do no wrong.

I was going to keep my son off last week but the school informed me if i did this i would recieve a fine :eek:

the school has top marks for everything in the reports so stuff like this is realy dissapointing. Although maybe the reason the have such good reports by ofsted is that they just sweep any problems under the carpet.

Hope the bullying towards your son has now stopped. Its such a horrible feeling knowing ive sent my son to school while being bullied.
Did you notice a change in your sons behaviour during the bullying as my sons became very angry at home since all this usually hes such a sweet happy child.

I'm glad this has come to a head and its come out at school, for the sake of your little boy. I do think its very sad that the impression he has of his teachers/adults in school is that they don't listen.

I bolded part of your post - have you actually had a meeting with the head before about any issues your son has had at the school in the year he's been going, have you actually written to the head with any issues? Or are you going on whats happened with teachers so far when you've spoken to them?

I remember when my DD had just started reception at her school, we'd been informed in our welcome meetings as parents that bullying was not tolerated at all, it was a zero tolerance policy. One morning in the school playground waiting for school to start, I heard one mum telling a teacher that her niece wouldn't be coming to this school anymore, she was scared to, because she was being
bullied, and it was all the (bleeping) schools fault etc. The teacher was being verbally attacked, and she wasn't even the child's teacher!

My point is, if you get nowhere with the class teacher, get a meeting set up with the head - if you get nowhere there, thats when to write it down and send off your concerns to the LEA/governors. Don't write off your son's school management unless you've made them aware of the problems, and given them a chance to rectify it.

OP you may have done all this and still got nowhere, in which case writing is the next step.

I do think the school is right as to keeping your son off school - you know he was in the wrong to hit another boy (provoked yes, natural reaction in those circumstances yes), he was caught, he was admonished. Would you rather he was seen to be getting away with it, and so letting every other pupil know its okay to hit each other? He's had his punishment, time to get things back on track.

eta - glad your son feels happier about going to school now.

Reggie_Rebel

Your boy has done the right thing by giving one of the bully a good thump. Forget all the nonsense they spout at the school, most of the time they refuse to think it can happen. The only way to deal with it is to fight back.

DON79

I hope your son has had a good day at school today OP and that the problem has been solved. Ok he hit back, but if it stops the bullies in their tracks then I would not be punishing my son for defending himself. They had it coming is what I would say...

Plans_all_plans

If I were you, I'd have hit the roof that my son was punished!

I can understand WHY they punished him, but I'd have told the teacher in no uncertain terms that next time my son complains someone's punching him, they are going to take note of it and deal with it. I would also tell the teacher that because of their inaction, my son has been told from here on in to hit anyone who hits him first and to not bother telling me about it because I've sanctioned it.

Honestly, I know teachers do a tough job, but some of them don't help themselves!

fedupnow

Lotus-eater wrote: »

My DD is smaller than average. At this age all you have to do is show a bit of backbone and they will back off most of the time. Not hitting back does not work, as all you show them is that you are a punchbag, who won't do anything.

No guarantee no, of course not, but it's the way I think is best.

Sorry, but by telling any child, 'all you have to do is show a bit of backbone' suggests that, should they be bullied, it is their own fault. It isn't. If a child is quiet, sensitive, small, whatever, they have a right to go to school without having to fight with anybody. They can't help being who they are.

Some kids just can't/won't fight for a whole range of reasons. It is those kids who are suffering from the bullies the most. If he isn't hitting YOUR kid because she'll hit back ---- good, but then he will probably go and hit another. The bully needs stopping completely.

This attitude of 'my kid's okay, sod the rest' carries another risk. By being 'hit back' the bully will likely learn to hit harder next time, and the next. These young bullies will grow into adults and will likely be a real pain in society unless they are taught when they are young. It is doing everybody a favour, including the bully, if parents band together, make lots of noise and make sure the schools do their job properly.

I know where everybody is coming from - honestly. But teaching our kids to hit each other is NOT the way forward. It just means the biggest and meanest will run the playground and grow to make lousy neighbours/work colleagues/wives/husbands/etc.

I suspect I'm in the minority, so will shut up now.

Estateprincess

I had years and years of being bullied through Primary and Secondary School.

My Mum had made it clear I should NEVER hurt anyone but if they were to hurt me first I could return the favour twice as hard. The bullying was all mental until I was about 15 and decided to answer back - that caused the bully to hit me. I hit her back and was never bullied again! In fact she told other people that they shouldn't bully me because I was scary and hurt when I hit her!!

I do not think violence is right but sometimes it can shock bullies into realising that what they are doing is wrong.

Also, she stopped bullying another girl that was being bullied at the same time as me and as far as I know she didn't bully anyone else - all mouth and no trousers as my Mum says!

fedupnow

Estateprincess wrote: »

I had years and years of being bullied through Primary and Secondary School.

My Mum had made it clear I should NEVER hurt anyone but if they were to hurt me first I could return the favour twice as hard. The bullying was all mental until I was about 15 and decided to answer back - that caused the bully to hit me. I hit her back and was never bullied again! In fact she told other people that they shouldn't bully me because I was scary and hurt when I hit her!!

I do not think violence is right but sometimes it can shock bullies into realising that what they are doing is wrong.

Also, she stopped bullying another girl that was being bullied at the same time as me and as far as I know she didn't bully anyone else - all mouth and no trousers as my Mum says!

So, if all the kis 'hit back' all bullying would stop?

Okay, I wonder why the schools don't just do that ... that would be a new and novel anti-bullying policy ... 'Everybody just hit them!'

Yeah, I can't think why they haven't thought of that.

Lotus-eater

fedupnow wrote: »

So, if all the kis 'hit back' all bullying would stop?

Okay, I wonder why the schools don't just do that ... that would be a new and novel anti-bullying policy ... 'Everybody just hit them!'

Yeah, I can't think why they haven't thought of that.

You need to read what Estateprincess said above again.

I do not think violence is right but sometimes it can shock bullies into realising that what they are doing is wrong.


No one has said it's the be all and end all of all bullying problems. But it can work and if it's my kid, it's them I'm worried about.

fedupnow

Lotus-eater wrote: »

You need to read what Estateprincess said above again.

I do not think violence is right but sometimes it can shock bullies into realising that what they are doing is wrong.


No one has said it's the be all and end all of all bullying problems. But it can work and if it's my kid, it's them I'm worried about.

Yeah, I did read it. It was a soft disclaimer but the post went on to suggest ...no it said ... that the 'bully' she hit, stopped bullying her and another. SO yes, I took that as a suggestion that her hitting this person 'cured' her of being a bully.

I think it would be nice to worry about others a little bit too, don't you think? How far do you only worry about your own?