Stay at home mum needs job title!

Bennifred

Morty_007 wrote:

Your youngest was at junior school for 20 years?!? :eek: Hope mine makes better progress than that!

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Haha!:rotfl:

No, although it felt like it at times! I have three children, three years apart, soooooooo..............

I really must learn to express myself more clearly!:p

Spendless

In the 7 years since DS was born I have been a SAHM, worked p/t evenings, w/ends, lunch-times and been a student. Currently a SAHM doing a small p/time course that fits round DD school nursery hours. I would like to work, I miss adult conversation and find housework boring. I have asked a couple of other SAHMs with their youngest at nursery with mine, what they intend to do in September when our children start f/time school. I'm not asking cos I think they should work, more to get ideas on what everyone else is doing.

After family members became to ill to help me with childcare it wasn't financially worthwhile me working until DS got the nursery funding as he turned 3, but I had DD at this point and then it wasn't financially worthwhile me working till she turned 3 and I could use nursery funding and tax and NI free childcare vouchers had been brought in. By this time though I'd spent so long out of the work-place I'd have struggled to find a job, hence me going to college instead.

I would like to work p/time school-ish hours. I wasn't interested in a job I was told about that was mon-fri 10-2 cos it would mean childcare for 5 full days in holidays, but I'd like a job that was 2 or 3 days or a few mornings.

Carmina_Piranha_3

perhaps the working women who ask pointedly when you're going back to work have been made to feel defensive by other SAHMs who think working mums are the spawn of satan.

it's a shame us women are so nasty about each other's choices instead of respecting that fact that whether we work or not is a choice we've made.

for reasons mentioned i love being a stay at home mum. when my youngest started school i got involved in volunteer work, helping in the classroom etc. and i really enjoyed it. i would just tell people i did charity work (it sounds a bit posh really, it shut a few people up lol!).

the reality was that my son had/has special needs and there was no childcare in the holidays. but even if there had been, he was a sensitive soul and wanted his mum at home (he's ten now and it wouldn't be such a problem for him). eventually i needed some money because we all wanted to go to disneyland paris so i got a job in mcdonalds until i had my baby. not exactly what i went to university for but it paid for the holiday and they were so desperate for staff to cover the college lunchtime in term time that they agreed for me to have all the school holidays off although most were unpaid. so that didn't impact on my child in the slightest because i was only at work while he was at school.

the baby on the other hand is almost 18 months old and i'm starting to get the impression that he'd enjoy childcare a lot. a mum at a toddler group has told me about a creche at college that you pay by the hour for, and she's only using it for 2 hours per week so i'm starting to think about going to college in september when babe will be 2. he's a different child to my first so it's a different situation - i am sure that working mums are happy that their children cope well with childcare.

back to the op though - i would simply say that you enjoy your voluntary work

mamashaz

It's now Monday afternoon and I have had time to read all your posts. On Saturday I had to go to a meeting connected with my voluntary work which entailed a 2½ hour journey each way giving me time to think (a rare occurrence as all parents will recognise)!

I realised that I have adopted a very defensive attitude to being a stay at home mum and felt like I always needed to justify myself. Also I remembered that I too have wondered in the past why mums haven't got jobs - although not critically but rather wondering what they did with themselves all day (ha ha!)

So now it's a new me who will not be defensive and will emphasize the positive! I am going to list all the things that I do in a day that they will be so bored (and jealous) that they will walk away !

Many thanks once again

Mamashaz (giver of cuddles and love, researcher, mystery shopper, retail manager, personal shopper, banker .......)

Boudica

Hi All

I'm new here so hello!!!

This thing with being at home with children, and other womens attitudes really gets on my nerves. I did work full time for 15 years until ill health put a stop to that. I'll never work again now due to my health, but, guess what. I've never been happier.

I missed out on so much with my youngest, who's now 11 cos he was in full time nursery. I was always tired, stressed and battling with several very painful health problems at the same time. Now, I take him and collect him from school, we have great chats there and back about his day and what he thinks of the world, his dreams and aspirations. It's wonderful. I feel closer to him than my daughter, purely because of the time I spend with him. Don't get me wrong I love them both to death.

Now, when people ask me "what I do" I reply that i'm a Mother of 2 fantastic kids. I work more hours than they do (clock up all the hours you do household stuff) but have a great time doing it. I don't want this to sound wrong or anything, cos i've been on both sides of the fence here, but I feel that i'm doing THE most important job in the world. Bringing up 2 of the next generation that's going to try and change things for the better.

So, anyone who's feeling depressed by these uneduated people, don't. Just think, who's the happiest?

snails's_pace

a domestic goddess' work is never done. if we were paid by the hour for what we do,we'd be one of the highest earners. when i feel low, i look at my 2 georgeous, healthy children and know they are a resutl of all my hard work. keep smiling

Miss_Behaving

Early Years Practitioner or Playworker- you're doing the same job as a nursery nurse/play worker only not getting paid for it! Plus your children have the benefit of one-to-one interaction whereas in a setting the ratios would be anywhere from 1:6 to 1:12

I actually found that my children needed more support and help as they got older - especially once the hormones started kicking in!

I would just enjoy being with them while they still want to spend time with you - all too soon they'll be off with their mates and you'll revert to the role of chauffeur

pickle

Just say like I do "Oh no, I'm lucky I don't have to return to work". I don't miss work a bit quite frankly. I'd much rather stay at home and it's more economical in the end as by the time you pay for all the takeout meals, collections for leaving presents etc., work clothes, car and then childcare there's not much left. Plus I can go on holidays whenever.

BargainBabe_3

Where do you begin Heavenly Homemaker! maybe that sums some of the work involvoed in being a SAHM up : Cook, cleaner , taxi driver, counsellor, lover, laundry lady, Friend, educator, childminder, general dogsbody well downright superwoman really. Working on this amount of jobs if we were to be paid we should earn £200k per year.....:rotfl: To all the other undervalued SAHM's out there keep up the good work. BBx

MissSunshine

The one I use: Director of Domestic, Social & Financial Affairs