Employers visiting me tomorrow...

MrsTinks

So what if there are more threads about men or women? You want to bring up the fact that the suicide rate is higher amongst men than women? Maybe more men SHOULD acknowledge they suffer from stress and depression?
Or maybe it has something to do with more women not only having full time jobs AND still being the housewife/mum/cook/cleaner/snot wiper/sick cleaner upper/chief shopper for food/everything else...
I know more and more men help but sorry 99% of the time women are expected to have a FT job AND care for the family/children/house... and you wonder why more women seek help?

gardner1

bendix wrote: »

Another thread about 'being off sick', another example where it is a woman who is depressed.

Genuine question - why is every 'depressed and off sick for stress' thread on this forum posted by a woman? Do men never take time off for depression and, if not, why not?

I'm genuinely intrigued. It raises all sorts of questions .. .

i used to think that way until two male members of staff were on long term sick for stress/depression
company i work for are a big multi national but the way staff are treated is a disgrace

justwannabeloved

arw, guys you really are a lovely bunch xxxxxxx

maysie, Im sorry to hear your daughter to has ME/CFS..it's hard to see them like this. We now have a bath board to help with showering on bad days and she has exercises from the physio therapist, we have attended all the pacing, sleeping etc sessions offered to us by the UCLH in London. We only found about about this team who deal in ME/CFs via our physio therapist, would then contacted the doctor at our local hospital to get us referred.

We hit a large blip on return to school after summer holidays, she went back 1/2 day and that was it, 10 days off school...been back part time since, but off school yesterday and today, tomorrow we go to UCLH so no school due to traveling, which she finds travel tough , even by train and 5 stops on the tube. She also has eating disorder/problems too. Sad, when a 14 yr spends her time with her mum than with her friends, I'll get her through this, but it's taking it's toll on me along with a stressful job.....

I know I have to get out of it and I look every day..who is going to take someone on, who has already had 49 days off work in the past year ( stress again and daughters illness, plus son in hospital for 2 weeks too ) and now a futher 5 weeks now on top of that..plus trying to find hours that fit with everything.. I feel so low and tense, cant cry though which is weird, feel angry , and very tired.

Not long now, 12pm ish is when they are due, not sure how long it will go on for. Right back off to sort my daughter out and get her comfty xx

I think with alot of men is denial and male pride , which is a shame . But good on the ones who realise they need help and time out for them xx

justwannabeloved

Thanks shopndrop, thats kind of you xx

Emmzi

good luck! remember you don't need to agree to anything, just practice saying "I'll need to think about that when I am a bit less tired, I will let you know soon."

mummyplus3

Good luck Justwannabeloved, when I had 5 weeks off work sick I had to go into the office to have a meeting I had myself in such a state leading upto the meeting, but it really wasnt too bad when I had it!

Hope you have a better afternoon after the meeting

MrsTinks

What about being selfemployed - you control your hours then

TrixieB

bendix wrote: »

Really?

Point me to a thread about men being off for stress and depression, please.

If they exist - and perhaps they do - i suspect for every one that exists, 10-20 feature women who 'can't cope'.

This thread is hardly the place for this is it?
If you want a discussion about the ins and outs of male vs female depression go and post your own thread and leave this one for the OP please.

justwannabeloved

Afternoon everyone,

Well, they have been and they have gone

Had my friend with me, I explained that I felt better to have someone with me and for my daughter should she needed anything during the meeting, whilst making them a coffee...decided it was only polite to offer tea or coffee....however, I left the biscuits in the cupboard.

They asked if I was Ok and what was stressing me out, I brought work up first (thought it best) even though they kept asking about my daughter, then I got onto the out of work stresses ie my daughter's health and other issues (without going into to eep with them) and that I felt that everything was getting to much for me and I got to breaking point. Expalined Im back at doctors on friday morning. Which they were fine with.

They explained a few changes at work, ive got a new team leader and that they will be supportive and get my confidence up and that my quality and customer service was was excellent and I worry to much. ( My friend said they made the job sound fab, though she knows different cos though me my friend has met a few of my work mates and they all say the same as me, lol ) ..

On asking what was happening with my dd, I then mentioned us waiting for an appointment for an Occuptional Health appointment for her soon ( I knew they would possible mention me seeing one thanks to a previous message from a memeber earlier on in this thread, so I dangled the carrot and the manager took a bite so thanks for that tip...) they came back with oh, we can arrange for you to see someone in O/Health if you wish, so I politely agreed and said that'd be a good idea...I don't mind. Maybe, a good thing...we shall see.

I do feel better that its over with, I explained what I needed to and my friend said I really well. At least I was able to be honest with them, also glad it was on my turf and not theirs...

Working from home /self employed would be great and something I have considered as I could be flexi and not upset a boss... But, I wouldn't know what to do...

Guys, Im truly grateful for all your messages and advice, if I could personally thankyou all I would, as you have given me the strength to stay calm for this, although I did run to the loo a million times before they arrived. Here's a round of applause for you lovely lot. Now I have tears in my eyes xx
:T:T:T:T:T xxx

Emmzi

I think you did really well, kept them focused on you and not your home life.

Over the next day or so have a think about what you would like occ Health to reccomend to help you - maybe shorter or different hours? Any flexitime? Starting back on one day a week and building up?

Whatever would help you destress! So that you can have a proper conversation about getting back to work. Also no discussing DD with them either!