Employers visiting me tomorrow...

justwannabeloved

Hi there..

Im currently signed off work, due to feeling very stressed out and low. Tomorrow, I have two bosses coming to see me at home. Im feeling really stressed about it and have done since they called and booked it with me last friday. I already feeling stressed and this feels like its added more. I have nothing to hide, totally genuine so why do I feel worst and now worrying so much about tomorrow ?

I have heard recently 2 people have been sacked for to much time off, Im already on first warning and they are cracking down hard of poeple who are off on sick. Im not sure how to handle tomorrow or what to say or what to expect even. One of ex colleagues said not to even offer them a cup of tea (which is probably a little rude )

There's alot going on a home, my daughter (age14) has ME/CFS & eating disorder, Im her carer so Im the one who takes her to all her appointments, takes her to and from school ( she is only part time and doesn't complete a whole day at school, if and when she is in school that is ) and helps her throughout the day and evening.

I suffer with depression myself and have done for years, at times I ok and then I reach really low periods and struggle. Panic attacks have occured in the past and in the last 2 weeks I have had 2 more.

I am struggling with working part time, my job is in a call centre ( so taking incoming calls for unhappy people)..doesnt help.. but the hours fit in with with kids (term-term hours) and looking after my daughter and all the appointments etc.

I have been looking in the past for a new job to relieve some pressure off me, but its not easy finding something else to fit around kids pkus all the appoinmtents and time off I have to care for my daughter.

I can't afford to hand in my notice, my hubby works 5 days aweek and does all the over time he can to help see us through the month with bills etc, and his hours can be all over the place in the job he does, so that doesnt help me either with child care as we have a younger son too.

Any advice on how to to cope / except for tomorrow would be grateful x

Emmzi

I am not sure that with all your daughter needs that a job with fixed hours is the best thing for you. Have you checked if you are entitled to any additional benefits because of her conditions?

gardner1

if you are signed off by your doctor do you have to let them in,at the end of the day if you have a sick note there is not alot they can do

justwannabeloved

Thanks for reply Emmzi

She receives mid rate DLA and low mobilty and I get carers allowance, this covers what I lost when I had to fight my employers for flexiable working due to my daughters health. More stressed was caused. We have to travel to London alot for appointments so travels costs are high as we can't get the right help or advice where we live.x

Uncertain

I would try to have somebody present if you possibly can.

Although your legal right to be accompanied at a formal work meeting is limited to a colleague or union rep in practice it is almost impossible for the firm to limit it to this in your own house. They certainly can't control who may be listening from the next room!

Whatever happens don't be talked into resigning. It is almost always best in these situations to sit tight and let the firm make any moves. Even if you are not getting any sick pay (beyond SSP) you are still accruing holiday all the time you remain on the staff.

Uncertain

gardner1 wrote: »

if you are signed off by your doctor do you have to let them in,at the end of the day if you have a sick note there is not alot they can do

Sorry, this is not good advice.

They can make moves towards a capability dismissal in cases of long (ish) term sickness regardless of a doctor's certificate.

Equally it is normally far better to agree to a reasonable request for a meeting unless there is a very good reason not to.

Torry_Quine

justwannabeloved wrote: »

Thanks for reply Emmzi

She receives mid rate DLA and low mobilty and I get carers allowance, this covers what I lost when I had to fight my employers for flexiable working due to my daughters health. More stressed was caused. We have to travel to London alot for appointments so travels costs are high as we can't get the right help or advice where we live.x

How can you receive carer's allowance if employed unless for very short hours and earning less than £100 a week?

I think that you need to cooperate with them and let them see that you are doing all you can to get well enough to return to work. What does your doctor say?

justwannabeloved

Hi gardener1

I did wonder that. Im due back to doctors on friday, current doctors note ends this Thursday. I will of been off work 5 weeks at the end of this note. x

Emmzi

I would expect to be referred to occupational health

I would NOT raise your childcare issues at all - these are not your employers problem - just your own health problems.

Sit tight and see the OH professional.

justwannabeloved

Hi Torry Quine.

After fighting for flexiable working rules and reducing my hours down, I now only work 16 hours per week, this is pro rata, I earned. 76.61 a week.

I didnt know anything about carers allowance, til I called the Tax credit people to let them knwo about the DLA my daughter had started to get as I wasn't sure if they had to know , though it best be up front, the lady on the phone then told me she would send me a form and to send in wages slips as proof x

Emmzi

gardner1 wrote: »

if you are signed off by your doctor do you have to let them in,at the end of the day if you have a sick note there is not alot they can do

This is not the best advice and I would try and hasten dismissal of an employee who would not cooperate.