XH(KH) gone a step too far now.. (UPDATED again)

pigpen

Oh gosh.. I dont for a second think I am a perfect parent.. I do have the children as my first, second and third priorities though.

I have just discovered he hasnt had DD4 wear her boots all weekend after she started crying her legs and back are hurting... she wore trainers all weekend apparently... and she missed 1 of her injections... (injections are growth hormone replacement and boots are from physio for her cerebral palsy/hypermobility and one has a raise a she has 5/8th inch difference in her leg length).. I could cry with frustration!!!

Triker.. I dont speak to his sister.. plus she is unwell at the moment too supposedly and his mother doesnt even know the children! So they are not an issue I do think the nurse being impartial is the best one to speak to him.. did you get my text earlier????

flutterby_lil wrote: »

God what a loser, so they go every other weekend, is that correct? How old are the children, just thinking in terms of what they want re going to KH's.

6-15.. and if any of them said they didnt want to go I would respect that. Sometimes we just want to do nothing I get that and wouldnt force them to go if it was not what they wanted. The 6 and 8 y/os are the only ones who have not stayed home and not wanted to go to his at some point.

DD1 hasnt seen him since February and DS1 has been disowned after asking if he would be able to have them a couple of hours while I was in hospital.

neneromanova

How would you feel/cope if none of his children went to stay with him? Could you manage? If so I really would not let them stay over for a night EVER again. The fact that he can't look after children with illnesses is wrong and he needs to realise that he is and be punished by stopping having the kids over night.

pigpen

TBH? I would probably have some kind of breakdown lol

No, I would be fine so long as he had day time contact.. the problem then would be OH would never get to see his family and they would never get to see the babies.. they live 120 miles away so not like it is easy to there and back in a day.

Stopping contact is a very very last resort.. it punishes the children as well which I know wouldnt be fair.

I just want him to realise how serious this could have been.. in a few weeks time when DS is stable it could have caused to have a hypo and he is not equipped to deal with that if he cant ensure testing is done and snacks are given. It is all logged with the solicitor so if we do need to take it further there is evidence to back my case.

sweaty_betty

PP you have my sympathies. A friend has a daughter who also needs daily injections, but her mother isn't interested in giving them for some reason. He's been to her GP and everything but can't do anything about her getting injections on the days of the week she's not with him.

Just wanted to say re. diabetes - once diagnosed it can take a while for the blood sugar levels to come down, it may seem like you're increasing the insulin dose time and time again, but once it stabilises the amount of insulin required may well drop. A reading of 29 would put the wind up me though, so completely support your concerns.

I know very little about aspergers but was wondering if it would be easier for your DS if some foods were off limits? I've always been told that things like jam sandwiches are best avoided (unfortunately), so would he be able to have better control over what he eats when not with you if he could say "I'm not supposed to have xx" or something similar? Just trying to think of easy ways for him to learn to manage it all - it's tricky at any age...

preciousillusions

So sorry, sounds like a complete nightmare, 29.5 is pretty terrible and I am sure your son was feeling physically awful at that point. I am also a type one diabetic, diagnosed at 9, now 24. If you have any questions feel free to ask. It really can be quite hard to grow up with T1 diabetes and your son will need a lot of support and understanding, which it sounds like he does have from you, shame about his father. I really hope the nurse can get through to him somehow, hopefully some education on type one diabetes and the dangers of unstable glucose levels will do some good there. Keep us posted if you can. xxx

Mupette

Personally i would refuse him access until such a time he can prove he can cope with childs diabetes (yet you'd think he would have the hang of it with the others)

if he tries the take you to court bit.... sorry judge he put the children in danger, serious danger.

pigpen

Updated post#1

I might like this nurse.. she seems very helpful!

whatelse_2

What does "XH" and "KH" mean please?

[Deleted User]

I have had diabetes for over 40 years (been there, done everything I shouldn't have done and learned from it lol), and worked in hospitals and was often called in to advise people with diabetes who were having problems adjusting to their condition.

First of all, remember that a diagnosis of diabetes will (as u are experiencing) affect all of you. You're still in the early days, its new for all of you and right now everything is there to be stressed over (and obviously u have a lot of other things to be stressed over as well).

While a blood sugar of nearly 30 is very bad long term, its not going to kill your son in the short term, and you are gradually increasing the insulin dosage to bring the blood sugars down more regularly. You might find your son feels more and more hungry as his brain gets used to a lower blood sugar environment. Quite often when a person's been running a high blood sugar for a while, the brain resets itself so hypo symptoms are felt when the person actually isn't. This can be a difficult period to go through but it will resolve. I read that your son has some eating problems, so I hope you are talking with a dietician to find foods your son will eat that will help keep his blood sugars stable. Also try Diabetes UK for advice, they are very knowledgeable and have a helpline.

I also have a son with aspergers, so I do realise that creates additional difficulties. However, with repetition and making your son feel like its in his own interests to engage with the condition (healthy diet rather than sweet stuff etc), he'll get there especially with praise when he gets it right, even partially (its what i used to do with my son. I'd target certain behaviours and if there was even a small move in the right direction I'd praise him to the ends of the earth which made him more keen to do more of the behaviour next time). However, rather than 'no sweet stuff' rules, he needs to understand that its 'sweet stuff only when u need sugar because you're hypo'. It can be easy to overemphasis the no sweet stuff rule lol (I still have problems with that one when hypo, my parental rules can kick in and I reject sweet stuff cause 'I'm not supposed to eat it' and I'm 40 odd lol).

Try and keep calm, diabetes means u have a lot to get used to but getting stressed about the learning curve along the way will make it seem more more negative to your son, and the idea of control will seem like an unobtainable dream. You will all get there. You really will.

You have already thought of one solution.., keeping up contact with your ex.., but for shorter periods of time so he can't do too much damage. It sounds like it might be an idea for all your kids if that's possible.

If you want to PM me, feel free, I'd be only too happy to chat. I've tried to write as legibly as possible but hope what I have written is of some use.

gratefulforhelp_2

whatelse wrote: »

What does "XH" and "KH" mean please?

ex husband and kn0b head respectively.

Well done piggers you took the high road. x