XH(KH) gone a step too far now.. (UPDATED again)

aliasojo

kingfisherblue wrote: »

What is KH?

Frogletina wrote: »

I believe the second half is 'head'

pigpen wrote: »

and the first part is kn0b....

I was having a dense moment ... my first thought for KH was kn0b husband....but it didn't seem to fit as it was an ex. :rotfl:

Ignore me.

I wouldn't be compromising on health issues. He either mans up and acts sensibly or he doesn't see them. End of.

I can imagine how frustrated you are pigpen.

aliasojo

!!!!!! wrote: »

I note that you don't appear to have tried to get the other side of the story and are believing 100% what the 12 y/o is saying.

Might it not be a good idea to actually TALK to him instead of vilifying him on the say so of a child?

I would imagine the OP knows both her ex and her son pretty well so would be well placed to make such a judgement.

I do agree they need to talk though.

System

pigpen wrote: »

He was present both times I saw the nurse so was told exactly the same as I was so I know he has all the info.

But have you got his side of what happened?

pigpen

!!!!!! wrote: »

I note that you don't appear to have tried to get the other side of the story and are believing 100% what the 12 y/o is saying.

Might it not be a good idea to actually TALK to him instead of vilifying him on the say so of a child?

He would lie.. blatantly..

DS3 has aspergers.. lying is rare and transparent. He was also that upset there is no way he was not telling the truth.. plus we have a diary of food for the dietician as his eating habits are so poor as well as his BM diary.

It is impossible to have a conversation with him at the moment.. we have been doing this 3 years.

gratefulforhelp_2

pigpen wrote: »

He was present both times I saw the nurse so was told exactly the same as I was so I know he has all the info. I sent ds with the info folder so if he was unsure he had a point of reference and as the contact numbers for everyone dealing with DS at the hospital.

My point was that although you know and he knows what needs to be done with DS, since he has chosen not to do it, he should now have to jump through the hoop of more training so that everyone is clear that he has no excuse.

pigpen

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

My point was that although you know and he knows what needs to be done with DS, since he has chosen not to do it, he should now have to jump through the hoop of more training so that everyone is clear that he has no excuse.

I got what you meant..

That was a reason I called the nurse.. she can offer that, unfortunately she cant force him to go.. I think structured training should be absolutely vital with something like this, there should be some compulsory training and dietry advice.. it is just as well he is 12.. if he was 4 or 5 I dread to think!

..but I am quite willing to refuse to allow DS to go for extended stays if we have a repeat.. he will be allowed to go for a few hours but not stay a whole weekend.. I wouldnt say he could not have contact with his dad as I feel it is very important to at least try to maintain a relationship and I bend over backwards to achieve that.. but I wont allow my children to be at risk.. but I have logged the incident with my solicitor and it will be used if necessary to reduce overnight stays.. which I dont want to do (this would make it impossible to visit OHs family but DS is more important).. and maybe the court could force him to receive further support from the health team..

At least I know what has gone on so I can anticipate it another time so can take measures to prevent it happening again... he will take his own snacks and an old mobile with preset alarms.

Triker

pigpen wrote: »

I got what you meant..

That was a reason I called the nurse.. she can offer that, unfortunately she cant force him to go.. I think structured training should be absolutely vital with something like this, there should be some compulsory training and dietry advice.. it is just as well he is 12.. if he was 4 or 5 I dread to think!

..but I am quite willing to refuse to allow DS to go for extended stays if we have a repeat.. he will be allowed to go for a few hours but not stay a whole weekend.. I wouldnt say he could not have contact with his dad as I feel it is very important to at least try to maintain a relationship and I bend over backwards to achieve that.. but I wont allow my children to be at risk.. but I have logged the incident with my solicitor and it will be used if necessary to reduce overnight stays.. which I dont want to do (this would make it impossible to visit OHs family but DS is more important).. and maybe the court could force him to receive further support from the health team..

At least I know what has gone on so I can anticipate it another time so can take measures to prevent it happening again... he will take his own snacks and an old mobile with preset alarms.

TBH Piggers, no-one can force anyone to do anything they have no wish or desire to do....including being a thoughtful and vigilant parent re health issues nor indeed force a parent to have contact with their child or be on time.

Your ex either doesn't have the capacity or interest to do what he should do. I suspect that anything you ask of him (even though it to benefit your children) will always be received with resistance. You have a newborn at the mo and shouldn't be getting as stressed out as you clearly are....maybe thats what this is really about eh....your ex creating havoc as you have just given birth?!

Would it be worth asking his sister or his new partner for some help in this situation? Or even his mother?

That's the difficulty here when there is so much animosity trying to get a message across when people are completely unreasonable is nigh on impossible....but there are other ways.


Good luck and good luck to the diabetic nurse too!;)

flutterby_lil

God what a loser, so they go every other weekend, is that correct? How old are the children, just thinking in terms of what they want re going to KH's.

KxMx

!!!!!! wrote: »

But have you got his side of what happened?

Sadly in this world, real life, there are parents of both sexes who quite frankly shouldn't have kids and happily put themselves first before their own children.

PP is in the best position to know what her ex is like.

When you have someone like that in your life (and my Dad is similar), there is seldom reason to question something you are told they have done, because you know it's almost certainly the truth, if not 100% of the time.

When you have perfect parents it's hard to understand that there are bad ones (I am talking in general here). People think you are the awful one for not having contact/seriously bad-mouthing because they have never been exposed to a bad one and think they are all good, or maybe they stretch themselves to say " well at the end of the day he/she is your mum/dad you should do this xx and not be nasty/rude/mean" Same goes for ex-partners.

jenjade

hugs pigpen. You are right about everything he is such a kh! Hope you son gets to grips with the new routine and the nurse is able to give his father a kick up with !!!!