The Ultimate Hard and Fast debt clearing mission

Dinah93

I just don't think it will be for her benefit, with him working and doing that commute he will actually be bringing home less after his commute than her full time nursery will cost. We would be better off by over £100 a month for him not to work than to commute to Leeds. I do understand that careerwise not working is a bad move, if you don't take the poorly paid jobs now you don't climb the ladder to the better paid ones, yadda yadda, but I just can't see how him hardly seeing his daughter for pennies a month is worth doing. It's the equivalent of working for £3.19 an hour if he does a standard 37 hour week, not even taking into account the extra 2-3 hours a day in the car. I was hoping the more numbers I ran the more I would see how this could work, but instead all I can see is that it's going to completely cripple us and between us we'll get less than 2 hours a day awake with our child.

duchy

Would moving work in the short term ? Even letting your house for a year or six months and renting somewhere with no commute whilst you are on Mat leave at least ? Maybe you could find a job you love up there -and if not you've not burned any boats and revert to plan A ? (By which time NIM will have charmed his way into working from home two days a week)

Home may be where the mortgage is but really it's where the family is. It's not great timing but if it's an unmissable chance for NIM maybe it'd be a solution especially as you don't love your job anyway.

Flower08

I really feel for you Dinah and NIM having to think about decisions with childcare. It would break my heart to put Noah in full time daycare - I definitely wont be doing it and if I do go back it will be part time only. Even then I will be arranging as much of it around OHs mum being able to look after Noah.

NIM you may find that if you do come home later from work, you work the babys schedule around yours. OH gets home from a 12 hour shift around 6:30pm (when he is on days) and Noah tends to stay up til around 8pm and sleep longer in the morning.
Obviously when he has to go to nursery/school etc he cant stay in bed til 9am, but at the moment this works for us

wendz86

Does sound like a really tough decision.

I am similar to CMD in that my original ideas have changed, after Poppy was born. Originally i thought i would go back when she was about 9 months full time but changed to when she was 11 months and 4 days. Am finding the thought of leaving her 4 days a week in nursery hard enough.

Thats good about the swap with the hoover Cinny, sounds good!

Flower08

wendz86 wrote: »

I am similar to CMD in that my original ideas have changed, after Poppy was born. Originally i thought i would go back when she was about 9 months full time but changed to when she was 11 months and 4 days. Am finding the thought of leaving her 4 days a week in nursery hard enough.

Exactly the same here! I thought I would go back once my paid SMP has finished but I know I definitely wont be doing that now! I am sure its probably the initial thought of leaving them in nursery that is the worse thing, not that I smother Noah or anything :rotfl:

clearmydebts

I really do feel for you Dinah. It must be horrible to be stressing about all of this before the baby is even born. Being 100% honest I think you should be working your figures so that you can take off as much time as possible with the baby when it is born. I don't think it matters that much to the baby if they don't see their father every hour of every day. I do think it is very important for the baby to see as much of Mammy as is possible for at least the first 12 months. This is just my opinion though so feel free to tell me to naff off!

Maybe NIM's career progression could wait until the baby is a year old, allowing you to enjoy your time at home Dinah.

tinkerbel

Sounds like to me that if he gets the job you would be better off moving, what is keeping you in your current place? I have always found a long commute knackering and I cant imagine what it would be like if you were going to miss seeing your baby (it would also mean you had to do all of the bathtimes/bedtimes etc..) It's a toughie but I do agree that at the moment we all have to be where the jobs are! Dinah if you hate your job and want to do the business thing would it matter where you were based? If he's getting a payrise and you move, perhaps its worth you not working? I dont know salary details though obviously but from what youre saying it seems mad! The whole career/family thing is so difficult, especially as a woman I think. I think i will end up leaving everthing a few years later family wise because *hopefully* OH and I will both still be studying for about 4 more years and until all of that is over and a few years after to get established.. sheesh its scary just thinking about it! Hey ho there's still time!!

Anyways today I closed an old bank account that I've been neglecting. Less in it than I was hoping but its about £30 which will come in very handy thank you very much I think it will go straight to savings bcause we're trying to really focus at the moment and save up for.. a holiday/house/wedding?/future/just to have a good, joint rainy day fund!! Haven't done much else MSE though for a while though.. actually did a survey today for about 20p equiv. very little helps...

Cinny91

Dinah93 wrote: »

I just don't think it will be for her benefit.

if you don't take the poorly paid jobs now you don't climb the ladder to the better paid ones, yadda yadda.

Surely if it will ultimately advance his career, it will be for her benefit? We're talking late 80s/90s here but my Dad was building our business back up again while I was a baby. Working all the hours, very little pay. But my Parents' found a way to manage, and so will you two if/when you have to. The job isn't a certainty yet, is it?

Moved some money around this morning, and did the budget for next month. Oh, joys!

shrimpy_80

Morning all, sorry to hear about your job worries Dinah, not having kids I can't really advise but it doesn't sound as though you would be happy going back to work full time. Ultimately I think whatever makes you and NIM happiest will be what's best for your little girl too so trust yourselves to make the right decision when the time comes x

I am still 4 days away from payday, boo! Had a little bit of MS money come in too and will be getting paid for a month and a bit due to when I started. Really cross as they've processed it all as February's pay so I've paid too much tax, NI and student loan on it, going to ring HMRC I think but I'm not sure my old company would have paid over all my deductions up to its closure, that shouldn't effect me but I don't know if it will! Sorry, little ramble there!

Good luck with the jobs Cinny, what are they doing?

Going to see my mum tomorrow, and managed to pick up an MS last night for the supermarket down the road which is an added bonus, just need to convince her that I arranged to come over before I booked the MS and not the other way around! She knows me too well! Hoping to retrieve some of my old hidden treasures from the loft too and hit ebay. The overdraft will be gone by the end of March if it kills me! You have my word ladies (and NIM) please hold me to it!

Birdie85

Not really sure what to suggest on the work front TBH, I can't imagine for a second you wanting to move to Leeds with NIM while he works his way up the ladder so that's out; maybe since he'd be getting home so late/leaving so early that time at home would just be for sleeping anyway it'd make sense to rent a room in the city, how much would commuting cost because you can rent a room with bills thrown in for less than £400pcm. Sign up for MS and he'll get a few meals free a week so that's food sorted out

What a headache about the pay/tax Shrimpy, hope you can get it sorted. Good luck clearing the overdraft too!

Thanks for the ipod at the dentist tip Ruby, I wouldn't have thought of that! Will make a happy (and loud) playlist on my phone to drown out the noise!

Has anyone got nice plans for the weekend? I've got an eye test tomorrow with my lovely looks-like-Daniel-Craig-if-you-tilt-your-head-and-squint-a-bit optician *comes over all unnecessary* and I think my Mum wants to meet me there 'to look at the glasses' before going for a coffee i.e. to see the optician and giggle girlishly at him whilst patting his arm After all that excitement we're off to a friend's for a birthday party but we are determined to catch the last bus home at 11.05 so we're not too tired/hungover for the Muppets on Sunday! Now if the clock wouldn't mind skipping forward a few hours so I can get my weekend to a start I'd be quite happy...