No More! debtfree2015's diary

debtfree2015_2

trip to town went ok, got dd a pack of 2 tops from Mr T & her friends birthday present.

I feel quite run down all of a sudden, that bunged up feeling just before a cold kicks in, taken my first defence, first time Ive ever taken it early on so hope it stops it developing.

Feel a bit calmer about the party now, I went to bed trying to think positive and did wake up in a good mood, I think that might have something to do with it.

Next week should be the week it all goes through (I hope). Im filled half with nerves, incase something goes wrong & half with relief as it feels like the end is in sight.

Then the course in March Im soooooo excited about!

Im also planning to go swiming once a week whilst dd is in preschool, though I wont start that till I know all this has gone through.

Cant believe the difference in day to day life already, I am sleeping better than I have done for years, eating more healthily, overflowing with fruit, especially dds favourites - grapes!
Ive been able to increase dd's hours at nursery which seems to have secured her friendships a bit more, she did have friends, but always felt left out leaving early, this in turn seems to have increased her vocab - infact Im sure its quadrupled she is now talking to everyone and anyone - what a difference in just a few weeks!
Thats what scares me a tad, Ive noticed a huge improvement in quality of life in weeks, Id hate for something to go wrong and become stuck in this prison all over again. Postive thoughts DF, positive thoughts!

MuffinTops

Hello DF,
How are you feeling about the party this weekend? I completely understand your feelings of awkwardness as I'm a lot like that at the moment. But do bear in mind that the silly things you think you're saying aren't likely to be heard that way. Most of us tend to think we're saying something stupid, when the other person is probably happy that you're keeping a conversation going.

When you don't know people very well it's difficult to find common ground which is why small talk is so important.

I hope next week is the final week for you when you can start on the other side afresh.

I'm sending positive thoughts your way too, although it sounds like you've got those in abundance right now. A healthy diet really helps that along I think. Well done. x

debtfree2015_2

A tad nervous about tomorrow, I know one of the mums there as our children play together, so Im hoping she will be there, she is confident and has made friends with most parents, so itl be nice to have someone there to ease it all.

Thank you for positive thoughts, I definately need them! Ive been a bit up and down, mainly due to nerves about it all going through, fingers crossed it will be done soon. I keep reminding myself theres no reason for it not to go through, if it doesnt there must be another way.

The cold well and truly kicked in, with a nice juicy head ache that I cant shift to go with it fingers crossed it will have eased by tomorrow. Was supposed to do food shop today but zero energy, will do it tomorrow morning instead.

Better catch up with housework Ive neglected all day!

debtfree2015_2

turned out to be a good time the birthday party!

I was a tad shy in the group to start with, but did get to speak to all of the mums one on one, as everyone was chasing their toddler it wasnt often we sat as a group.

Hopefully it might make school runs a bit easier now the ice has been broken.

DD loved it, and I actually enjoyed myself for a change!

I was quite surprised to learn only 5 of the children their were from the preschool the rest were cousins & friends of family, so I was really touched that dd was one of the lucky few chosen out of the big group of children, reassured me that she had made some good friends.

Called one creditor, explained I was intouch with cccs, they were really kind and said thank you for letting us know etc - really shocked at how nice and understanding she was, that was a load of my mind.

Hope they are all as understanding!

debtfree2015_2

Posted my letters yesterday, getting nervous waiting for the phone calls.

Good news, got a letter from the college woooohhoooo, downside is induction is only 3 hrs, I thought we would get stuck in on the first day! It appears not! But still not long to go I cant wait!!!!!

Got lots to do, only had a huge clear up the weekend, living room is almost back to the state it was in better start before little miss gets home and makes it worse!

MuffinTops

It's all sounding like it's progressing comfortably along. I'm so in awe of how well you deal with things. I know it's a case of having to after what you've been through, but even so, you're a massive credit to yourself. I've been reading other diaries and not many show the dignity and strength that you do. Even though I don't know you in reality, I'm glad I get to send you messages along your journey.

My living room currently looks like a bomb in a paper factory! But I live alone so it's staying that way until I have everything out, looked and put into it's relevant pile before filing it all and putting it away!

As you said you can feel a bit awkward with new people maybe the 3 hour induction will work out better for you? You're not thrown in the deep end of a full day bonding with strangers. It'll be a quick 3 hours and then the next time you go you'll see familiar faces when you stay the whole day. That will make break times and lunches a little easier. If you stand there feeling awkward and not sure what to say, my little trick is to quickly find someone wearing something you like and then say "ooh, I like your <shoes/brooch/bag>, where did you get them?" From that answer you can often find something to keep the conversation going. That's my "get out of silent panics" standby anyway.

Good luck with your letters and calls. Are you waiting for creditors to call regarding the letters? I don't know much about DRO's or DMP's etc but those who have gone for DMP's (I know yours is a DRO) state that when creditors call they give the creditor the DMP reference number and tell them the company will be in touch soon and to deal with them before hanging up and that threats made are generally empty. Is this something you can do with a DRO or do you have to deal with the companies still?

debtfree2015_2

Thank you muffin, your messages always come at the right time to give me a boost

Yes I was thinking that re the induction, might not be such a bad thing! Also, will help dd in her new nursery, if its all too much I can pick her up early, but if she is comfortable I will pick her up later so she will have had almost a full day.
I do have a back up list of qus to try and start conversations, often, it takes me so long to pluck up the courage, just as its about to come out of my mouth they start talking to someone else, then I get really embarrassed and keep my mouth shut, the best way I can describe it is like a clumsiness - but only verbal, wrong question/wrong time/cant think of answer etc.
On the plus side I am quite easy going so do get on with most people, once that initial ice has been broken.

Well this week my payments have been missed, so Im expecting calls next week. I have given my cccs number in letters, though havent given much more detail until I know its all going ahead.

Im the one holding things up, I was given permission to use remainder of ppi money towards a car, so that I can hopefully get a job, as relying on buses seems to be my downfall, and cycling round here, for me is a no no, its all narrow country lanes just wouldnt risk it.
The issue is the budget is very small, so every car I see seems to have problems and I back out of getting it convinced its jinxed! I have to face facts, on my budget 99% of cars will have an issue that Il just have to work around, but at the same time I dont want a death trap! Its trying to work out whats safe and not safe. My last old car I even had an RAC inspection - they were gobsmacked when it died on me later that day, since then Ive stuck to newer cars so Im very nervous, moreso because Il be carrying dd around in it, and if I find a job working nights, I dont fancy being stuck in the lonely country lanes around here waiting for help!
I can't proceed until the car is sorted, Ive got one to view this week, so hopefully this will be the one I feel safe with and I can get cracking!

Im really hoping, if I get a car, I can look for an evening job, my friend has offered to help out as a short term solution eg 6 months, in the thinking that once Im in work, it will be easier to find another job, or if I go with a large company, I might be able to change hours for creshe hours.

Its a pest that creshes dont do saturdays, Im convinced if I could offer to work one weekday and a saturday Id find a job a lot quicker.

debtfree2015_2

Had a lightbulb moment today!!!

Ive been stressing about work, needing to work 16 + hours for help with childcare costs, but jobs Im seeing are for 8 hr contracts or full time - I wont do full time whilst dd is so young what with her sickness record, Id get fired within a month!

It suddenly occured to me, that I could use her 3yr preschool funding in a private nursery to get a job!!

Ive spoken to a private nursery open all year round, they said, out of a 10 hour day (choice of 5 or 10 hour sessions no in between) I can use 6 hours funded and pay for 4 hrs.
During half terms & holidays Il have to pay full price, which for one day is £60 - shocking, without the funding Il be earning £48 based on a 9-5 minimum wage, and childcare is more expensive! On an average month, assuming Im not paid for lunches it works out about £180 per month, Childcare averaged out is £131, Income support will be cut as you can only earn £20 before they deduct £ for £. It works out Id be about £30 a month worse off as income support will drop, and I wont get help with childcare via tax credits, but if the DRO goes through, I can take that loss somewhere, just for the sake of getting my foot in the door.

Sounds mad taking the loss, but Im trying to think long term, Ive been looking for work for a year - not one single interview! So if I can get a chance somewhere now, I can do overtime when dd is at school during term time, then revert to 1 day during school holidays. It would also help when I qualify from college, as my intention was to be self employed, so if I can find a 8 hr contract, at least I will have a regular sum of money coming in, if I have a quiet week.

The tricky thing is now, I have to start a job after easter holidays, or september, as theres a set period nurseries can claim funding.

Im thinking it may be easier after the summer holidays, as students will go back to uni there may be more vacancies.

If I dont find of anything, I will keep dd at the current preschool and volunteer a few mornings a week, need to start getting busy!

MuffinTops

It all seems to be moving ahead for you in the right direction.

Getting the funding for a long term solution sounds like a real investment. What sort of work would you want to do?

Perhaps if you do decide to wait until September then doing some voluntary work now in that sector will drastically improve your chances? Also maybe doing voluntary work in the sector you'd like to be self employed in could help as you'll set up contacts and a little network of people in your chosen area of expertise?

Have you had any luck on the new car choice? I do understand the worry as it's hard to tell if a car is a good buy or not.

Onwards and upwards for us all this week!

debtfree2015_2

Hi Muffin,

well Im retraining to be a hairdresser, so that is what I should do when qualified, though its likely to be self employed unless I find a part time Salon role, they are rare & you often have to work late nights but childcare doesnt exist past 6pm! Once I have my car though I could apply further out, so I may find a part time role.

My background is admin, but I do get restless, I only lasted long in my old job as Id worked up to management so it was quite varied role with visiting other offices over the uk & europe, prior to that promotion I was on the verge of leaving - I hadnt announced it, just started looking so it was pure good timing on my bosses part that made me stay an additional 6 years!

If Im looking at 1 or 2 days per week to top up my self employment, Id probably opt for retail. I worked in retail when I was younger & despite the poor pay, it was probably the only job I didnt get restless in, I need variety to keep me motivated.
Id have happily stayed there long term but leaving home etc it just didnt cover the rent & bills.

If I can volunteer in a salon a couple of mornings a week I will do, as the references could lead to a job.