No More! debtfree2015's diary

debtfree2015_2

Am very calm now after speaking to cccs, I was just completely over thinking things.

I took dd out yesterday afternoon, she got some new hair clips - she loves claires already and she is only 3- its not the cheapest place either, well for fashion jewellery its ok, but a few tiny hairclips £4.50, I nearly choked:eek: I had to remind myself, living to my new budget, I can make allowances for little treats, its the least she deserves after what a stress head Ive been lately.

She also wanted a diary - she sees me writing so wants do do the same although she cant actually write yet, well she knows a few letters & how to write part of her name but thats about it. I got her a little hard back note book £1.49, she chose the colour & was so proud showing all the bus passengers 'look Im doing writing' proud mummy moment there.

Later on after my shower, got out to see pen all over my sofa - cant get it out :mad: its my own fault for trusting her with a pen, but its ALL over the sofa! My contents insurance has a excess of £100, I dont think the sofa is worth even that now its about 3 years old, so no point in claiming. Still kicking myself though:mad:. From now on diarys up the table only!!

I got an expandable folder for my new filing system, post DRO £3.99 in whsmiths, trying to concentrate on the new start to distract myself from the enormity of it all.
Everything prior to DRO will stay in the old folder, so I have it if its needed. This weekend every room will be sorted from top to bottom

DD will have her settling in sessions in her new nursery next month, then few weeks later I start college. Still cant believe fast approaching 30 il be a student :rotfl: feels so strange.

It also feels strange to be learning to live to a budget. I didnt really have that before, even before all the debt I just spent whatever I had then when I ran out I stopped, till next payday.

I still cant quite believe how much our lives will change for the better if this all goes through. Fresh start can't come soon enough :T

debtfree2015_2

Not much to report, been in all weekend.

Feel a bit lost at the minute - not in a sad way, just a bit in limbo waiting for the worry all to be over.
Actually knowing me, I'l probably stress the whole way through until the 12 months are over, because its just the way my mind works!

Still it is a load of my mind atm, knowing I can do a normal food shop this week, and the relief will increase a little when it all goes through, but when the 12 months are up that will just be immense relief, something I havent felt since all this started nearly 4 years ago.

I will really be counting down the days!!

Didnt get every room done as planned hard work with dd either 'helping' or digging things out to look at when Ive just put it away! A fair bit to do but I can work on it whilst dd is in nursery this week.

MuffinTops

Well done DF, you sound like there's a little light starting to shine in.

A 30 year old student? That's the best time, isn't it? I didn't have a clue what I wanted to be at school. I had too many hormones flooding around and home issues and no experience of the world. You're a great age to be studying for a better life now. x

debtfree2015_2

Thanks Muffin - not quite 30 yet but will be during the course, Im still stuck at 24 in my head! Year or so ago on a security through a call centre the man asked how old I would be on my next birthday, I replied 24. He laughed then said no miss df, your next birthday.....um 25??? In a wobbly voice realising I actually forgotten my age, his voice got a bit sterner then, probably thinking I was a fraudster I actually had to work it out on my fingers when I realised & said my age my voice was all high pitched with shock:rotfl: then had to confirm additional details to prove it was me I can laugh about it now but was so embarrassed at the time.

Had a call with cccs, almost ready to go just waiting for one more thing my end. I got papers all ready for court so can apply as soon as it all goes through the end is in sight :T

MuffinTops

Ha ha! That's brilliant. Once you get stuck like that all manner of things race through your mind which take up valuable calculating space!

Each year on my birthday my Mum will email me with a Happy xxth Birthday and every time I think "oh dear, she's got no idea how old I am. She thinks I'm that old????" Obviously she's right and I'm shocked that I'm the age I am!

I'm so pleased you're able to see the end in sight. You're an inspiration to your DD, particularly doing all of this on your own with no support. You should feel very proud of yourself. x

debtfree2015_2

Thank you Muffin, that comment got me all choked up

I have borrowed a wii game from a friend, fitness pal - its actually quite a good work out. So far Ive done it twice & ached the next day. My little rugrat wont let me do it alone however, she joins in the moves, she is hilarious to watch, Ive had to stop a couple of times to compose myself through laughing too much. She is a groovy little mover though, not sure where she gets it from :dance:

Not done as much as I should have today, Id start something, then get distracted over and over again. Need to get cracking tomorrow!

debtfree2015_2

A lot more productive today, though still lots to do, but thats general household theres always more to do.

NSD which is always good! Not too much to report today, been a pretty standard mummy day.

MuffinTops

Well done on yesterday's NSD. They never get boring, do they? I love them.

I've got fitness pal on the wii. I'll have to dig it out although I have very little co-ordination and absolutely no groove to speak of!

I bet your DD was an absolute picture joining in. Laughter is a great calorie burner, not to mention a great medicine too. It sounds great.

debtfree2015_2

she was, she is a very small 3yr old too so she looked ultra funny - toddlers always do when they dance
I put myself on the schedule so should do it daily, didnt do it yesterday tut tut, will do it today when dd is in bed.

Another NSD, need to do a food shop though so will be spending a little tomorrow, well actually more than a little as in need of batteries. really should invest in rechargables go through so many!

Bathroom & livingroom/dinning room cleaned from top to toe today, love a clean home, lifts spirits straight away

debtfree2015_2

Well, need to go into town tomorrow, dd has a birthday party the weekend, so need to pick up a small present.

Im getting myself a tad stressed about the party, parents have to stay. Im not the most sociable of mums, not that Im rude or not interested, Im just overly shy face to face and just plain awkward, I can never think of anything to say, when I do Im either not heard or make myself sound stupid so most of the time I keep my mouth shut unless Im spoken to. Its 2 hours long I am dreading it! DD on the other hand cant wait, which is the main thing, thankfully she isnt as awkward as me and has made a lot of friends so she should be ok.

I dont know where the awkwardness/panic came from, Ive always been a tad shy but Ive never dreaded meeting people, and wouldnt have thought twice about striking up a converstation before.
Im guessing its a delayed reaction of the sudden move, new area new people, actually when I think about it, all of my friends before Id had since school, or met at work so knew them for 6-27 years! The most recent ones @ 6 years again all through work which I also left behind. So maybe I have always been awkward but not realised as I was never in the situation of knowing no one? Who knows, whatever the reason, I really hope it gets better soon, its so awkward standing at the school gates, I normally arrive minutes before we are due to go in to avoid the silence. Maybe being at college will work some magic on me, I definately hope so!

THis week has been ok, well good actually, though next week 2 payments will be missed for the first time ever, my heart races just thinking about it!

Hopefully I should be able to be ready for the DRO next week, just praying it all goes ok.