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Tilly1810

OK, so I did allow a complete stranger into my home, we'd been chatting online and by phone a while though...

I don't have kids, but told some friends that I was letting him come round, it was fine as it turns out, but I know it was a dodgy thing to do... Probably not a good thing to do, but I have a trust mechanism that seems to work well...

Scotty, your local-ish, but you're a bit too young for me, but I really hope you get there x

burnoutbabe

never have a total stranger over the first time you meet, just daft. Meet somewhere local.

firstly, you could have nothing in common, and just want them gone after 30 mins.
secondly, it makes it very awkward to try and avoid any heavy physical contact without sounding like a right prude. fine if thats what you want on a first date, but then loads of blokes from online dating will sleep with you even if they have decided they won't see you again.

Tilly1810

burnoutbabe wrote: »

never have a total stranger over the first time you meet, just daft. Meet somewhere local.

firstly, you could have nothing in common, and just want them gone after 30 mins.
secondly, it makes it very awkward to try and avoid any heavy physical contact without sounding like a right prude. fine if thats what you want on a first date, but then loads of blokes from online dating will sleep with you even if they have decided they won't see you again.

We had talked a LOT, and due to my aversion to pubs, and his work hours, he popped round for a coffee on his way home from work... I know there a plenty that want more, I knew this guy enough to trust him!

hippychick1

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

I have to be honest, I'm not normally.

But for some reason I just did, I have lost about 6 pounds which feels really good- its not masses like overs talk about, but its a start and I just seem to be becoming more and more confident.

Its strangely good.

Well done you! I would never have the confidence to ask someone out for a drink.

I have a second date with someone next weekend quite looking forward to it, we got on quite well the first time we met. Anyone else out on dates this weekend?

burnoutbabe

Tilly1810 wrote: »

We had talked a LOT, and due to my aversion to pubs, and his work hours, he popped round for a coffee on his way home from work... I know there a plenty that want more, I knew this guy enough to trust him!

well did you know his home address? his place of work?

if not, then you don't really know him at all.

Best to be safe and meet publicly than be assulted or have something stolen. good it was fine for you, but I wouldn't advise anyone to do this before having actual verifiable details about the other person.

Tilly1810

TBH I think the risk of me going to a pub/restaurant where I don't know anyone on my own....I have no local friends in a position to look out for me... is as bad as letting someone I've got to know into my house...

It's only happened once, and I let plenty of people know it's happening!! It worked well, and it works for me!

My dog is good judge anyway...lol

Tilly1810

2. Re: coming over to places etc

I agree with Tilly about having a "feeling" about things.

Like I do probably take a few more risks than others. But then I've been around the block a bit, have quite a good BS detector (eg if a guy says he is in X industry the chances are I can generally work out if he is or not), and I'm small but I have a strong personality and am confident enough to tell someone to chuff the chuff off and not really think about it in five minutes time (think evil frontdesk receptionist personality :rotfl:).

And I like being single enough so I'm not inclined to put myself in situations I don't feel comfortable in just for the sake of it - I don't care if the guy is on a six figure salary and looks like a Greek god and REALLY wants to hold me, if I want to stay the night I do and if I want to go home when I do I do, and if he wants to hate me then tough I like me well enough.

Whereas five years ago it was a good idea for me to take quite a few precautions, because I was the kind of young woman who would do things just to make someone else happy and comfortable or to have "someone" as my bloke.

It's all about knowing yourself and knowing how "strong" you are and where your own boundaries are I think. But this is different for everyone.

3. Good luck for date hippychick and everyone else on a date this weekend.

I'm committed to being a spinstah but I like hearing about other peoples weddings so I want a thread marriage complete with pictures before the year is out from SOMEONE :rotfl:[/QUOTE]

Trust me, I won't be getting married again soon lol! But I think at 45, I can judge people quite well... and I won't go into my local town to meet anyone! The guy I met... actually from a swinger site, is a normal hard-working guy, and really nice, and we have become really good friends over 5 months of chatting.

No, I'm not a swinger, but know that that's a good way of meeting people when you don't want a full on relationship... lol

Scotty1.7

Tilly1810 wrote: »

OK, so I did allow a complete stranger into my home, we'd been chatting online and by phone a while though...

I don't have kids, but told some friends that I was letting him come round, it was fine as it turns out, but I know it was a dodgy thing to do... Probably not a good thing to do, but I have a trust mechanism that seems to work well...

Scotty, your local-ish, but you're a bit too young for me, but I really hope you get there x

Cheers Tilly, I don't look to much at age- though I do try to keep it sort of ok

Scotty1.7

Cheers everyone for the comments by the way.

Its not the weight thats doing it, I think its the fact I am actually getting out- catching up with my friends and getting a good 'ego' boost I think you'd term it?

Ok so my MSE thoughts have gone out the window and funds aren't as healthy as I'd like, but I'm always smiling, my housemate is noticing that I am much happier- I just seem to have turned a corner somehow.

Tilly1810

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

Cheers Tilly, I don't look to much at age- though I do try to keep it sort of ok

Scotty, I'm 45, don't want a relationship and don't want a family.... I'm not for you, but would happily meet you for a coffee or something, if you want to chat hun x