what are the best value dating sites?

System

Got a message back from hot okcupid guy! :j

Now i need to think of something interesting to talk about.... =/

coin_operated_girl

gardenia101 wrote: »

Thank you Coin Operated Girl, I didn't think it was badly written & yes, I do get what you mean!

IIRC your heath "issue" (sorry, not sure what the right word is) is not obviously visable. How do you think you would deal with the whole dating thing if it were obvious to all? I can certainly get by on the vision I have left most of the time, but I really struggle in the dark (so hate this time of year) & find I can rarely read menus etc. without a magnifier. I could probably wing it through an daytime coffee, provided I got there early & checked out which was the ladies as I've been caught out a few times :rotfl:

Yeah my condition is neurological and there are no physical signs of it so to most people I look perfectly healthy. Thats an interesting question though and I suppose what the condition/situation is. For example if I'm unable to work because of a health condition then I think it would come up very early in the messaging stage when you talk about what you do for a living. I think in your case, if I was in a restaurant and couldn't read the menu I might just ask them what it says and say that I can't read it because my eyesight is really bad- in the way that people do when they have forgotten their glasses (if that makes sense). I guess I would just play it down a bit but I wouldn't completely lie. I don't know if that seems unfair though. Would be interesting to read what other people would do.

I've just got back from a second date- we went to the zoo. It went pretty well. Theres something about him that I'm quite drawn to but I'm not sure what it is because although we get on we are still having some awkward silences and he doesn't make me laugh anywhere near as much as this other guy I have been meeting. I think maybe its because hes clearly a bit shy and I can be too, and if someone if quiet then I tend to come across as quiet as I'm not great at starting conversations. Whereas with this other guy, we get on so well, theres great banter between us, but for me there is something missing- not sure what.

It struck me on the way home that the guy I met up with today is probably quite like my ex- very clever, really motivated and hard working, independent, good job, bit geeky, bit quiet etc. Whereas the guy I have the good banter with isn't like this so much - he still lives at home with his parents (at the age of 25 (his sis is 27 and sis lives at home, so I doubt hes in a hurry to move out)) and although he is studying to become an accountant he doesn't really want to do it, he wants to go back to being a charity fundraiser (as in a person who knocks door to door collecting money). I don't want to sound like a gold digger because I am honestly not, but I think its quite important for me to be with someone who is motivated and is driven to be successful- I find those qualities attractive. But then again I also find being funny a very attractive quality.

I know I shouldn't really be comparing the two guys, I'm just thinking out loud. I need to come to some sort of decision about both of these guys at some point though because I have had 2 dates with them both now and they are probably going to want more than just a hug soon lol. I know obviously I don't need to choose either of them, but I do like them both, just for different reasons.

I'm still waiting to go on a second date with the third guy- he is almost a mixture of the two; successful and independent and we had good banter (and I think there could have been a spark), but its hard to say as we were both so drunk. I'm hopefully seeing him either this week or next.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Sorry if this post doesn't make much sense I've been up for 36 hours so far thanks to my arsing medical condition.

coin_operated_girl

lufcgirl wrote: »

I don't think I'm like you guys though in the whole ONS thing and casual sex. I personally think it just isn't my kind of thing, but any woman who can do that, good on you! To me sleeping with someone is something special and something that takes time for me knowing a person to want to do, it's emotional as well as physical to me. I couldn't just jump into bed with anyone, it'd feel so wrong. And now I feel terribly old fashioned!

I'm with you on this one. I don't judge people who do have casual sex because I know some people just see it as having a bit of fun, but for me sex is something I only want to do with someone I am in love with. Sometimes I wish I wasn't like that because its gotta be coming up to 6 months since I last had sex :eek:

VestanPance

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

I'm with you on this one. I don't judge people who do have casual sex because I know some people just see it as having a bit of fun, but for me sex is something I only want to do with someone I am in love with. Sometimes I wish I wasn't like that because its gotta be coming up to 6 months since I last had sex :eek:

Six months is nothing. I've not had sex since I split with my ex three years ago, which bothers me far less than I ever thought it would.

I'm actually a male that doesn't do the ONS or friends with benefits thing.

Butterfliesarepretty

I don't think I'm like you guys though in the whole ONS thing and casual sex. I personally think it just isn't my kind of thing, but any woman who can do that, good on you! To me sleeping with someone is something special and something that takes time for me knowing a person to want to do, it's emotional as well as physical to me. I couldn't just jump into bed with anyone, it'd feel so wrong. And now I feel terribly old fashioned!

I agree with this. I have never had a one night stand, I just could not do it.
Im emotional also and can not switch that off.

I had a message off a guy called sexymorroconjim - it was unbelievable - he left his number and said he could perform like a pornstar and that I was missing out:eek:
I blocked him after I told him he was a perv and I was not interested.

Girls watch out for him!

Butterfliesarepretty

VestanPance wrote: »

Six months is nothing. I've not had sex since I split with my ex three years ago, which bothers me far less than I ever thought it would.

I'm actually a male that doesn't do the ONS or friends with benefits thing.

Im similar in this. Its nice to have it when you are in a relationship but you dont miss it when you're not in one. Its more about holding hands, enjoying the person's company and enjoying life.

Im 44 and I find it really difficult to meet anyone who I click with.

VestanPance

Butterfliesarepretty wrote: »

Im similar in this. Its nice to have it when you are in a relationship but you dont miss it when you're not in one. Its more about holding hands, enjoying the person's company and enjoying life.

Im 44 and I find it really difficult to meet anyone who I click with.

I know being male I'm supposed to be all about missing the passion in the bedroom, but being totally honest it's the little things I miss more. I also get in the neck from every guy on the planet that feels I should be out there humping for Scotland!

It seems I'm wasting middle aged single life by not being a drunken shagger! :eek:

Oh, and Jim doesn't sound very Moroccan!

coin_operated_girl

VestanPance wrote: »

I know being male I'm supposed to be all about missing the passion in the bedroom, but being totally honest it's the little things I miss more. I also get in the neck from every guy on the planet that feels I should be out there humping for Scotland!

It seems I'm wasting middle aged single life by not being a drunken shagger! :eek:

Oh, and Jim doesn't sound very Moroccan!

Thats refreshing to read. I am personally very put off by guys who feel the need to be out humping for Scotland

System

The last time i was single (so aged 20/21) i went a bit off the rails and had a fair few ONS's but being older now its not something i'm really bothered about, i can go without sex (though may need to invest in a new toy!)

findingmyway_2

It fills me with such relief reading that other people have the same opinion about sex as I do. As others have said, I don't judge anyone who wants to have a ONS, good for them. For me however, I have never done it, and doubt I ever will. I cannot imagine going home with someone I have just met.

I suppose that has been one of the biggest things weighing down on me, now that I am single. Will I ever find anyone who is willing to wait a while before I am ready to sleep with them. Im not sure many guys in their late twenties will feel the same way I do about holding off until we know there is chemistry and that we want relationship.

Its great to know that im not the only one though. ::j:j:j