what are the best value dating sites?

Butterfliesarepretty

Hi all, well no new dates for me. Ive been working today. I joined that okcupid, two messages but one was in london too far away and one was down south too.

Im stuck in too watching casualty and then im a celebrity.:D

GemmaB78

runningwoman wrote: »

Must say on this dirty messaging thing....

I don't have any problem with having sex just for the sake of it. If I feel like sleeping with someone and then cycling off into the night to catch the chip shop before it closes I do. I like trying new things. And I like having the lights on

I don't do it so men will like me, I do it because I wouldn't want to go out with someone who is rubbish in bed and because good sex, is...well....good in itself .

As for the hearing from them afterwards?

Well, the first one night stand I ever had, I sat on the Tube home hungover and with my mothers injunctions about "men not respecting women they've slept with too soon" ringing in my ears.

By that evening I had several calls from the guy, and he spent the next few months convincing me to move in with him/spend the rest of my life as his girl. He was quite a catch, by all standards.

And things have continued like that - I think good men don't devalue a woman who sleeps with them quickly, but do want as a long term prospect a woman who doesn't use sex as a bargaining chip. Decent men aren't lust driven beasts out to "get" women, they want to feel attractive too, and long term they want a girl who actually likes them as a lover and thinks they are "hot" not just as a dull provider/partner.

(I MIGHT have been told once or twice in a LTR "gerroff me woman, I need to SLEEP!!!" :rotfl:, but let's not go into that now )

So yes, I'm relatively promiscuous/slaggy/liberally minded/however you want to put it. Especially as I'm not going to be a nun whilst I'm not sure I'm in the right place in other areas of my life to get into a lifetime commitment.

But the guys who are going to end up benefitting from that aren't going to be the kind of guys who message a girl saying "WANNA SCREW". They're the kind of guys who I'm dating, I just happen to feel connected to, and who don't assume anything.

(I think a good parallel situation is men don't mind paying for dates - in fact the good ones enjoy doing it for the girls they like - but they object to some stranger assuming they're going to do it off the bat and banking on it.

I've been lucky enough to have been taken to some lovely places by men I've met via internet dating - but I never expect more than to split the bill for two coffees, and if I'd gone round messaging strangers going SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THAT MICHELIN STARRED PLACE THEN HUH? I don't think the same thing would have happened....)

Wow: could've written this myself! I have absolutely NO QUALMS about 1NS/sex on 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 30th date (whatever). I'm always safe. Always careful. And it's always with someone I fancy the pants off!! Like you, I'm not sure I'm in the right place for something LT and committed at the moment. I've a lot on workwise, and if I'm honest, I'm still nursing a broken heart. So some light-hearted fun with some nice guys is fine by me. If it leads onto something else, sobeit.....

missmontana

Glad its not just me! Totally agree with you RW, as long as 2 consenting adults are happy with whatever takes place then I don't see a problem with it, I've had friends with benefits, just cos I'm single I'm not going to go without! People seem to forget us women have needs aswell! I hate the whole double standards about women being slags and men being studs, its so dated.

coin_operated_girl

gardenia101 wrote: »

Coin Operated Girl - how does this work for you now that you've had some dates? Certainly sounds like it is all going well :T

I ask as I'm partially sighted, so it does affect what I do & although I'm job hunting, realistically I'll be lucky to find anything so I'll never be a high earner again. But I am older than you, not planning on any more children & thankfully has an ex who pays a decent amount of maintenance so I wouldn't be financially dependent on anyone.

But I didn't consider it from the man's point of view. I guess I could come across as wanting a man for money or needing a carer, neither of which is true!

Any comments? You all seem like a lovely bunch, so please be honest!
.

Its funny you should ask this because the job offer I spoke about in that post has fallen through and I've now been offered another job which is almost full time which I'm starting on Monday. I have no idea how I am going to cope with working that much, it might be that I have to quit after a few days or something but I don't really feel like I have a choice but to take this job because who knows how long it will take for another job offer to come through. I wanted to work part time because I think working full time could be detrimental to my health, but with the job market the way it is I don't feel like I have the luxury of being picky about hours. I want to give it a go anyway because actually I think my health has recently improved more than I thought it had so maybe with some adjustments to my meds I might be OK, who knows- I really feel like its 50-50 right as to whether I will be OK working that much.

So for now I haven't said anything to my dates about my health. If I end up having to leave this job then obviously I'll have to tell them, but for now I'm not going to say anything about it. I don't really like talking about my health that much to people because its such a weird and complicated condition I know no one really understands it (I haven't even told some of my friends about it) so I don't really want to bring it up on a date unless I have to. Obviously if I get into a relationship then I would need to talk about it whether it stops me from working or not, but if it doesn't stop me from working then I can't really see anyone having a problem with it as it wont really be affecting my life very much. I feel like this post is really badly written but hopefully you get what I mean.

SailorSam

beaubelle wrote: »

Worst still my friend who has been widowed twice has been victim of two scams - one on Match and one on FRD. We think the word Widow is a magnet especially if you are over 60. So be warned put Divorced!
I'm 55 so i'm hoping this is the way to go. Will keep you posted.:)

Welcome to Mse Beaubelle, i doubt anyone here trying to scam you. Your poor friend, i hope she's learnt her lesson now, tell her to come here and we'll tell her what to do if she gets asked for money again.
Works both ways the scammers you know, i had a woman telling me on PoF how much debt she was in and she was going to end it all, and she only needed a couple of hundred pounds.

gardenia101

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

So for now I haven't said anything to my dates about my health. If I end up having to leave this job then obviously I'll have to tell them, but for now I'm not going to say anything about it. I don't really like talking about my health that much to people because its such a weird and complicated condition I know no one really understands it (I haven't even told some of my friends about it) so I don't really want to bring it up on a date unless I have to. Obviously if I get into a relationship then I would need to talk about it whether it stops me from working or not, but if it doesn't stop me from working then I can't really see anyone having a problem with it as it wont really be affecting my life very much. I feel like this post is really badly written but hopefully you get what I mean.

Thank you Coin Operated Girl, I didn't think it was badly written & yes, I do get what you mean!

IIRC your heath "issue" (sorry, not sure what the right word is) is not obviously visable. How do you think you would deal with the whole dating thing if it were obvious to all? I can certainly get by on the vision I have left most of the time, but I really struggle in the dark (so hate this time of year) & find I can rarely read menus etc. without a magnifier. I could probably wing it through an daytime coffee, provided I got there early & checked out which was the ladies as I've been caught out a few times :rotfl:

I did once almost sit on someone's lap in the cinema as it was so dark (to me). My son thought it was hilarious, & I suppose it would be an ice-breaker...

Glad to hear about the job - I guess you'll just have to try it & see how it goes. Good luck.

runningwoman wrote: »

Wouldn't make too much of a fuss about it - just put "independent" or "solvent" and leave it at that (this summer I put something like "on a tight budget due to X career change which is going well so far, but not looking for anyone to sub me as I like tea and toast, It didn't seem to be a problem for anyone although maybe I avoided some young men looking for sugar mummies :eek:).

I don't think anyone genuine is too nosy about how their dates pay their bills as long as they know that it isn't going to have some immediate severe impact on them. And of course you can explain more at a face to face meeting - I'm sure of course you know this but I think anyone asking in too great detail about your financial situation before you meet probably has some funny ulterior motives themselves......

LOTS of good women are obviously in on a Saturday night

Some great advice there, so thanks Runningwoman - & I do love your style :rotfl:

missmontana wrote: »

Glad its not just me! Totally agree with you RW, as long as 2 consenting adults are happy with whatever takes place then I don't see a problem with it, I've had friends with benefits, just cos I'm single I'm not going to go without! People seem to forget us women have needs aswell! I hate the whole double standards about women being slags and men being studs, its so dated.

Well said!

Li0nhead

Just had an offer of a date on one site....

Pity the offer was from a man.
I think it was a mass mail thing and he clicked 'seeking male' instead of 'seeking female' as his message was addressing me as a woman. I somehow very much doubt i will be replying.

lufcgirl

Well I'm all gearing up to my 'date' (no idea whether it is or not, I have a feeling it'll most likely turn into one!) next Saturday.

We're going ice skating, with my two best friends (they know all about her and are coming just to make it easier and break the ice) and then for lunch, shopping and a long walk. And then out on the night to a few bars. Then to see a movie the following morning. Writing that makes it sound like we're together but we're actually not, just two people who have talked a lot for a month meeting for the first time and seeing how it goes. She seems more interested in it than I am, but that may be because she's coming here rather than me travelling anywhere...but we shall see how it goes! I am looking forward to meeting her, and I have no problem drinking too much in her company (she's heard my drunken phone calls already!) so I'm just hoping we have a nice pleasant day!

I don't think I'm like you guys though in the whole ONS thing and casual sex. I personally think it just isn't my kind of thing, but any woman who can do that, good on you! To me sleeping with someone is something special and something that takes time for me knowing a person to want to do, it's emotional as well as physical to me. I couldn't just jump into bed with anyone, it'd feel so wrong. And now I feel terribly old fashioned!

Souk08

I love a good ONS and freind with benefits me, but totally each to their own!

hippychick1

I met someone on OKCupid in August, we get on great, but we're not in a relationship, more of a friend with benefits. We see each other most weekends.

I had a date Friday night, and ended up staying at his Won't be meeting up again though, but good fun at the time!