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Lotus-eater

runningwoman wrote: »

THINGS I DON'T LIKE TO SEE ON AN INTERNET DATING PROFILE

1. Anything with the term "nice guy"

Nice guy in internet dating speak means "I don't have much to offer, but I'm desperate so I'm a complete pushover when it comes to attractive women - my only selling point is that I claim I won't be disloyal, because of course every male who is more attractive/successful than me is going to be disloyal".

I often find self-styled "nice guys" are more "pretending to be nice so they can latch onto attractive women out of their league then get bitter and twisted when they don't" . If you want to be principled do it secretly and for it's own sake, not to get your leg over.

Really?

I would describe myself as a nice bloke. I don't recognise the rest of your descriptions though.

Do any other girls think the same as RW?

Ladyhawk

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Really?

I would describe myself as a nice bloke. I don't recognise the rest of your descriptions though.

Do any other girls think the same as RW?

I would tend to agree with RW - if you need to put "nice guy" or "genuine guy" then you probably are not. If you are either of these things it should shine through your profile without you needing to state it.

Someon asked about adding to Facebook - no no no!! I seriously wouldn't and a big stalker alert should be going off in your head.

And finally - I was chatting to a guy on POF last night... we exchanged about 7 email thingies... and not once did he ask anything about me. So he has now been banished

sapphireeye

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Really?

I would describe myself as a nice bloke. I don't recognise the rest of your descriptions though.

Do any other girls think the same as RW?

I also have to agree. When I see someone describe themselves as a 'nice guy' it automatically makes me think of the whole 'nice guys finish last' type of attitude and in my experience the reason they finish last is because they're either too shy to do anything or are clingy beyond belief and overly sensitive. I know that's a horrible assumption to make but the self proclaimed 'nice guys' I've been involved with have always fit into one of those categories.

I would describe myself as a nice person but rather than use the word 'nice' I describe what it is about myself that makes me 'nice', so I'm friendly, always look out for my friends, will talk to everyone and anyone - that sort of thing! I was once told that 'nice' is a boring quality in a person because it's very generic and doesn't say very much, people don't want someone that's just 'nice' they want a bit more than that.

sapphireeye

runningwoman wrote: »

1. Wouldn't do the facebook (I'm not on there, but wouldn't if I was on). I think if he's a nice guy he should understand, especially if you haven't met yet IRL....

2. Re: match.com - sometimes the search engine doesn't work well - I've often got the "there are NO men meeting your criteria" - you just need to try again a few more times, it's an IT glitch.

If you just want to test the waters before paying for the subs, you could do your profile and pics, and then see who contacts you (the site will still have your profile up and men can search for you - you can receive e-mails and send those "wink" things but not read e-mails from all members).

In your inbox it will list all the e-mails, you can then go to the Search screen and put in their username to get their profile up (I had a few days a month or so ago when I just re-activated my profile to have a nose, and I think I had about six e-mails, one of them would probably have been of interest to me, but on balance couldn't be arsed to rejoin)

If you have created a profile but haven't paid up to become a full member, they will offer a two for one deal after a few months or a three day subscription.

ALSO. Important Forget to say earlier. Match are AWFUL with cancelling subscriptions - you need to call some callcentre rather than go through the site and they sometimes try and take the payment a few days before the due date on some weird "automatic renewal" system (have a look on google to find out the problems others have had). I think the best way round this is to "lose" your bank card after you've paid up, order a replacement, and then they can't get the payment through on the old card number, so you don't have to call them to cancel.

HTH!

Thanks for the advice again, I'd heard about Match and their subscription cancelling issues so I'll definitely keep on top of that one! I haven't had any emails yet but lots of winks, some from profiles that I looked at and thought I would do something about them later which is a good start! The standard of men definitely seems to be higher on Match which is promising!

Ladyhawk wrote: »

Someon asked about adding to Facebook - no no no!! I seriously wouldn't and a big stalker alert should be going off in your head.

Thanks both of you for the facebook advice, that's exactly what I was thinking anyway and I would never normally add someone on there that I've not met in person. I will be informing him that I don't add people that I haven't actually met. I'm not a big fan of facebook these days anyway, I'm only on it because people at uni choose to use it to talk about uni work.

Lotus-eater

Ladyhawk wrote: »

I would tend to agree with RW - if you need to put "nice guy" or "genuine guy" then you probably are not. If you are either of these things it should shine through your profile without you needing to state it.

sapphireeye wrote: »

I also have to agree. When I see someone describe themselves as a 'nice guy' it automatically makes me think of the whole 'nice guys finish last' type of attitude and in my experience the reason they finish last is because they're either too shy to do anything or are clingy beyond belief and overly sensitive. I know that's a horrible assumption to make but the self proclaimed 'nice guys' I've been involved with have always fit into one of those categories.

I would describe myself as a nice person but rather than use the word 'nice' I describe what it is about myself that makes me 'nice', so I'm friendly, always look out for my friends, will talk to everyone and anyone - that sort of thing! I was once told that 'nice' is a boring quality in a person because it's very generic and doesn't say very much, people don't want someone that's just 'nice' they want a bit more than that.

Well thanks for the feedback. I've always been confident enough to call myself nice, because I think I am.
Maybe that is boring I'll just have to be boring then.

missmontana

Butterfliesarepretty wrote: »

ha is he on mx5nutz.com ?

No idea, can't find his profile now either, was gonna pm it to you. Maybe he's met someone.... guess I'll found out when he turns up on the doorstep with her, that's usually how I find out about his gf's!!!

newcook

I prefer to add someone on facebook - you have more photos of them to see, you can see if they actually are in a relationship (have caugh out 2 potential dates like this!) and you can get a more general feel if that person is who they say they are!

Im actually more wary of people who say they dont want to add me as I start wondering what they have to hide!

newcook

runningwoman wrote: »

THINGS I DON'T LIKE TO SEE ON AN INTERNET DATING PROFILE

3. "My female friends say I'm a good catch"

This means the man has lots of attractive female friends, who he has been rejected by at some point and have told him "he is a good catch but not for THEM" but still stays "friends" in the hope that one day he will get his leg over. This often goes hand in hand with "nice guy"

I disagree with this - it could be very similar to me with my male friends where the majority are married or have a girlfriend but will often ask why I havent found myself someone yet.

I do have a fair amount of male friends (a couple are quite nice looking too) but Im not friends with them in the hope that I'll get to sh@g them one day!!

lufcgirl

So...I've decided to give POF a go after seeing there's some nice people on there and I finally feel ready to date, or give it a proper chance anyway!

Is there some sort of rule about messaging people, I've seen one who has been online in the past week but I don't want to write a message only for the person not to log back in ever again to read it! What do people write as a first message to someone? I'm sure people (or more I would) tire or someone writing, I love your profile etc...

Also too, on my profile I've wrote the three things I really dislike...is that bad? I'm not sure if it's just wrong or not, it's just I know these people would be wasting their time by messaging me so I thought it'd be best for people to know beforehand!

VestanPance

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Well thanks for the feedback. I've always been confident enough to call myself nice, because I think I am.
Maybe that is boring I'll just have to be boring then.

I think most blokes would think of themselves as a nice guy. Very few would ever tend to think 'hey I'm an utter b**t*rd!'. Probably a bit of a pointless thing to sell yourself as, but it could be argued so does listing you are funny or any other attribute that is weighted towards how someone else interprets you.

Although 'nice guy' and 'genuine guy' are two of the most common terms listed by females in their profiles. The other most common is 'likes to have fun', which should weed out all the people who hate having fun!