what are the best value dating sites?

mill1exx

Sapphireeye,

I wouldn't worry too much about profiles that say about travelling either. I love to travel and that's a huge part of who I am but it wouldn't put me off if someone has never even been abroad. What would put me off if they weren't open to new adventures, not that they hadn't experienced them yet.

Saying that though, what puts me off is extremely sporty people. Not that I am a couch potato but I am extremely unco-ordinated and I am generally pants at any sport. Not that I wouldn't try, but I would guarantee I would be sho1te !! lol

M x

VestanPance

runningwoman wrote: »

LOL, I was thinking actually "review myself" as in "me" not my online profile. Like attracting like?

I want someone in shape, so its only reasonable I have to be in shape myself. I want someone who is quite physically presentable, so I need to pay attention to that myself.

I want someone who is in their vocation not just "doing the 9-5 and watching TV until I die" so that's a pointer I should be doing the same thing myself.

(I've found as I've got more "quality version of me" I tend to attract similar people).

(I'm not saying anyone who isn't 100% sorted in everything shouldn't date - otherwise no-one would EVER get laid :rotfl: , but sometimes a bit of self reflection is a good first step)

That's fair enough, but then some will filter on the opposites attract theory.

I agree the more interests you have in certain things the more likely you'd attract others with that interest. You may also attract people on the living life through you style. The people that love to hear about travels or sport achievements etc but would never think to do them on their own.

I just noted down what I'd filter by if I was looking. It's lucky I'm going the single root as I seem to have filtered out about 99.9% of the population! :rotfl:

VestanPance

mill1exx wrote: »

Sapphireeye,

I wouldn't worry too much about profiles that say about travelling either. I love to travel and that's a huge part of who I am but it wouldn't put me off if someone has never even been abroad. What would put me off if they weren't open to new adventures, not that they hadn't experienced them yet.

Saying that though, what puts me off is extremely sporty people. Not that I am a couch potato but I am extremely unco-ordinated and I am generally pants at any sport. Not that I wouldn't try, but I would guarantee I would be sho1te !! lol

M x

Travelling is a pretty open description though. I love to travel, but my travel is to visit places, explore cities, parks and museums. Try the local food, enjoy the architecture and culture. My idea of hell is two weeks on a beach.

Speaking for sporty people I don't think many of us actually expect partners to take part in the sports we enjoy. We may expect them to accept the routines of training or events we do though.

newcook

pea-benn wrote: »

My other definite 'no's' are:
- smoking
- jewellery of any discription
- tattoos
- using text spk, too many emoticons or bad grammar
- saying they are looking for someone slim (I am slim but wouldn't want to be with someone who'd dump me if I put on a couple of pounds!)
- mentioning how successful they are or that they have a nice car, house etc
- saying they like 'cuddles' (doesn't eveyone? but mentioning it just makes you sound like a mummy's boy!)
- mentioning sex

I think it depends on what age bracket that you are after. I have noticed that a lot of 27-35 year olds do mention that they have their own house but I think that is possibly because women might be put off if they still live at home (its one of my turn-offs)

mill1exx

Yeah I am a bit of a culture vulture when abroad. Like to experience it all as the locals would.

Many profiles do state that they are looking for someone who likes the same things as them .. especially the sporty people. Perhaps between the lines they are stating they are looking for someone 'fit' ?

M x

candygirl

VestanPance wrote: »

Travelling is a pretty open description though. I love to travel, but my travel is to visit places, explore cities, parks and museums. Try the local food, enjoy the architecture and culture. My idea of hell is two weeks on a beach.

Speaking for sporty people I don't think many of us actually expect partners to take part in the sports we enjoy. We may expect them to accept the routines of training or events we do though.

Yay then we can go shopping:j:j:jResult:T:T

mill1exx

newcook wrote: »

I think it depends on what age bracket that you are after. I have noticed that a lot of 27-35 year olds do mention that they have their own house but I think that is possibly because women might be put off if they still live at home (its one of my turn-offs)

I tend to agree with you about the age bracket. As you get older (I will speak for myself) then some things tend not to bother you anymore. I used to detest tattoos, referred to them as tramp stamps. But if this is something someone had done at 20 and they are now nearly 40 then I wouldn't hold it against them. But if they were covered and still at it then he wouldn't be for me.

M x

mill1exx

candygirl wrote: »

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Yay then we can go shopping:j:j:jResult:T:T

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

VestanPance

mill1exx wrote: »

Yeah I am a bit of a culture vulture when abroad. Like to experience it all as the locals would.

Many profiles do state that they are looking for someone who likes the same things as them .. especially the sporty people. Perhaps between the lines they are stating they are looking for someone 'fit' ?

M x

Some sporty folk can become obsessed with it, and in turn it becomes one of the few things they can talk about. I love the sports I take part in, but I know I need to balance that with other interests.

I do know one lad who is a keen runner and they only time you can get him enthused or talking about anything is when you talk about running. That's because he spends all his free time running, reading about races, reading up on things that will help his running and planning future events. His free time is completely taken up by one hobby.

My experience is that those folk are in the minority. If you're sporty and really into the sport the chances are you do it alone, or in a group at a similar level so expecting someone to come straight to it at their level would be unrealistic. I know a couple sporty couples, but in most cases it tends to be one very sporty the other not at all.

coin_operated_girl

That was me who filters for people who either don't want children or are not sure if they do. I know it probably sounds a bit weird to be thinking about that before I've even met the person, but I have a bit of an irrational fear about finding Mr Right, falling for him and then finding out he doesn't want children. I know a couple where the guy desperately wants children and the woman doesn't. They have been together for 7 years and got married a couple of years ago. He is hoping she will change her mind and she is hoping he will change his mind. I just don't want to end up in a scenario like that because I don't think either of them will change their mind and I can see it ending up in divorce. Its a good point about people interpreting the question differently, I didn't think about that tbh.

I have a very strict criteria which is probably bordering on a bit ridiculous but I'm at a stage right now where I'm OK with being single. If someone nice comes along then great, if not then thats fine too. I wouldn't really say I'm actively looking for a partner right now. Although I'm on POF, I'm not actually messaging/searching for anyone. If someone messages me and I think we could get on then I respond, if not then I don't bother. I know if I'm single for ages then at some point I'm going to have to loosen my criteria, but right now I'm not willing to do that because I'm not at the stage where I feel like I need to compromise.

I'm talking to one person who I'm quite keen on. Seems to be the whole package really; likes the same things as me, nice looking, good job, doesn't live at home with his parents etc (oh and he wants children at some stage ). I'm also a bit flattered that it appears that since asking for my email address he hasn't even bothered logging into POF I'm yet to meet him (we're in the process of organising something) and chances are there wont be a spark, but it shows me that there are guys out there who match my criteria lol.

Its really interesting reading about what other people filter for.

edit: I'm not baby crazy btw, I don't want children for another few years yet!