what are the best value dating sites?

prudent_princess

edeneve wrote: »

Hi all,
I've been a lurker for a while on the thread but just had to post my experiences...

I've tried most dating sites over the years and also been on single holidays.

I was married 14 years but grew apart then met my last ex online, he was lovely initially, planned marriage and a child but then he became controlling, abusive and a cheater, we separated 2 years ago.

Anyway, over the last 6 months i've tried POF (a lot of wierdo's and married people, but there are some genuine people but you have to use common sense and thoroughly check them out). My first date wasn't even the same guy, was entirely different race, second guy first date was nice but second date was incredibly arrogant and rude. A lot want to chat for way too long or arrange a date then dissapear.

Match.com, costs a lot and didn't find it much better.
Oasis...just far too many people to be able to sift properly.
OKcupid i found too slow and didn't like.
E-harmony expensive and not enough people on....so I have found I have stuck to POF and I've become a bit ruthless in filtering people in or out.e been on a few and made

Single with kids is fab has a forum and a dating site and do holidays for single people, i'v made a few great friends.

What works for me is:
Sending e-mails to people I like sound of, keeping it to a few lines of something interesting that shows I actually read their profile

I only reply to mails that also do the same, never reply to Hello's, hi there or one liners.

I usually chat for a week then swap numbers and arrange a date soonish but always speak on the phone beforehand as I find I can tell just by talking if we will get along and then not swept off my feet by what they look like.

I've dated a few guys I met in the real world, but most it turns out have been married or have serious issues about relationships or ex's.

I've also dated a few off pof and I found that the more I dated the more I found out exactly what i didn't want and also what I did. It could be a bit disheartening at times, when the same types surface, players, married men, sexpests, relationship phobes but I keep in the back of my mind that there must be someone genuine who fits the bill lol.

I have to add I have a large family (6 kids) and my bitter ex tried to brainwash me into believing no-one would want me...I have to say though I haven't found that, people I have dated have wanted me it has actually been me who has become more choosy because I want the right man. So don't give up.

Anyway recently I lined a few dates up and have met two really lovely men but I am now focusing my energies into one. We chatted online a week, then arranged a date, then chatted on phone before the date, he lives local but I always ask dates to come to a place near me, if they do to me it shows they are keen and caring.

He was a perfect gentleman and we hit it off immediately, another thing for me is that i want a man to pay on a first date...for me it shows there not stingy and like to make you feel special, after that i'm happy to split bills, i always offer but if they accept on a first date I'm put off.

Anyway second date, he booked a meal for us, brought me flowers and picked me up and it got even better....We talk everyday and see each other a few times a week and it is wonderful, we've both been married twice, had our fair share of troubles but get on so well....the funny thing was the week before I met him I finally got rid of my engagement/wedding rings...was it a sign lol!

I guess what I'm saying though is don't give up, we have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find the prince that is the right 'fit' for us...I have such a good feeling about him...so he maybe the one but if not I'm enjoying it....and I met him on POF, is profile was simple, clear and nice...I didn't swoon but I liked the 'normality' of it and in real life he was so much nicer than his pictue online, but his personality is amazing.

keep plodding on guys you never know who may turn up and when....just be yourself and be honest with yourself as to what you want and i'm sure you'll find it....

Thank you for sharing that! It is very helpful.
Like you, I tried other dating sites and ended staying with POF.

You have to be ruthless, as you say.

Thrifty85

Everybody else seems to be giving updates so thought I'd add mine to the bunch....

Things still going really well, had date number 4 at the weekend and he's asked me round to his place tomorrow night to cook me a valentine's meal (awwwww, bless him!)

We've both made it clear that we're not interested in looking for anyone else (we've both closed our POF accounts). However we're still not in the place yet where I can say he's my boyfriend or vice versa. Hopefully that will come in good time, but for now just enjoying what we've got and going on some nice dates with him.

JoeyG

The problem I find with POF is there is no way of expressing interest without having to write a full-on message.

Since most girls on there seem to say in no uncertain terms that single line messages will be ignored, and 95% of messages don't seem to get any response at all, its a bit of a pointless exercise.

missmontana

JoeyG wrote: »

The problem I find with POF is there is no way of expressing interest without having to write a full-on message.

Since most girls on there seem to say in no uncertain terms that single line messages will be ignored, and 95% of messages don't seem to get any response at all, its a bit of a pointless exercise.

No matter what site I've been on, a personal message is always better than a "wink" or something.
Make sure you've read the girls profile and refer to something she mentions, shows you've taken the time and its not just a copy and paste job, always better than a "Hi, how r u?"

sunny_d_2

After lurking for a while and reading all the experiences on here, I decided to try POF. I have been separated/divorced for a few years and have never even been on a date!

I was always told the usual stuff , I am attractive etc but after being married to the same person for years I find it difficult to adjust. I'm not really out that much and I don't think I give out the 'vibe' that I might be interested in meeting someone.

Anyway back to POF...I joined for 2 days got loads of replies and even asked out a couple of times (though I was being wary) I chickened out and cancelled my profile/membership. I couldn't get my head around people knowing the town I was in, and them telling me they were from the same place! I'm quite a private person and now I'm scared to go out incase someone recognises me lol

Is it only me that's like this? I think maybe the whole time I was married there was always a stigma attached to online dating. I feel really stupid now and would like to get over this and try to move on in my life. (God I feel like a huge drama queen )

alyth

sunny_d wrote: »

After lurking for a while and reading all the experiences on here, I decided to try POF. I have been separated/divorced for a few years and have never even been on a date!

I was always told the usual stuff , I am attractive etc but after being married to the same person for years I find it difficult to adjust. I'm not really out that much and I don't think I give out the 'vibe' that I might be interested in meeting someone.

Anyway back to POF...I joined for 2 days got loads of replies and even asked out a couple of times (though I was being wary) I chickened out and cancelled my profile/membership. I couldn't get my head around people knowing the town I was in, and them telling me they were from the same place! I'm quite a private person and now I'm scared to go out incase someone recognises me lol

Is it only me that's like this? I think maybe the whole time I was married there was always a stigma attached to online dating. I feel really stupid now and would like to get over this and try to move on in my life. (God I feel like a huge drama queen )

I totally understand how you feel - I had a PoF profile with a picture on it and got nothing but hassle from people who knew where I worked, on 3 seperate occasions I have guys emailing me saying they had seen me in work - none of these guys had pictures on their profiles, one started to really freak me out as he said he's seen me leaving work and knew where I parked my car.

So I am uber-cautious now. I have no picture, my location is about 10 miles away from where I really live and I have a very vague profile. In fairness I don't really want to date, I use the site now just if someone emails me to chat in breaks from studying. There are a couple of guys that I chat to on it, but thinking about it I don't even know one of their names!

sunny_d_2

alyth, that sounds so scary! :eek: I think I jumped in with both feet.
You have the right idea, even if you don't know their names, best to take it slowly get to know someone better before giving out your life story

zoesmummy_2006

i added what I hoped would be an icebreaker to my profile, makes it easier to start a conversation rather than just the random hi, or how r u's. I told them to try and guess my favourite ever man utd footballer, i got quite a few replies to that, and they were all shocked when i told them who, cos they all guessed wrong haha!!! got a few chats going

guardianangel

Hi
Am new to the thing and have been doing some research into which one to join, however, I haven't come across POF, what is that?
Thanks

sunny_d_2

guardianangel wrote: »

Hi
Am new to the thing and have been doing some research into which one to join, however, I haven't come across POF, what is that?
Thanks

It's Plenty Of Fish, you can look it up on Google. Good luck

I wasn't on it long (See above ) It's free to join.