what are the best value dating sites?

zoesmummy_2006

bah, well the postponed date cos of last weeks snow has been cancelled again by him this time, an hour before we were due to meet, at least i got some notice i guess. Something to do with his ex having issues and him having to go get their daughter and have her for the night. Been texting a bit since he cancelled this evening, but im thinking that its best to let this one go. I get the feeling there could always be something since their split was only a few months ago. Im a parent myself so i understand kids come first but i cant say im not gutted, was really looking forward to it, have been all week. And i thought he seemed keen too, text me tues morn saying to be careful on the ice and that he didnt want me breaking anything. He's not mentioned anything about rescheduling, but when i asked if he was still on for tonight when i text him this morning he said yeah def.

I did get talking to ANOTHER guy on okcupid, he thinks im awesome cos we support the same footie team, i understand the offside rule and gave him my ideal line up for the match today lol. Hes very sweet and makes me smile, we were up til 2am the first night messaging each other, 1am the next and we've added each other on facebook. He's said he'd like to take me to a match sometime in the future maybe if we're still talking which was a nice offer. Not sure if its gonna go anywhere like getting to a date cos he lives quite a way away, plus hes VERY recently split from his ex.

sapphireeye

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

bah, well the postponed date cos of last weeks snow has been cancelled again by him this time, an hour before we were due to meet, at least i got some notice i guess. Something to do with his ex having issues and him having to go get their daughter and have her for the night. Been texting a bit since he cancelled this evening, but im thinking that its best to let this one go. I get the feeling there could always be something since their split was only a few months ago. Im a parent myself so i understand kids come first but i cant say im not gutted, was really looking forward to it, have been all week. And i thought he seemed keen too, text me tues morn saying to be careful on the ice and that he didnt want me breaking anything. He's not mentioned anything about rescheduling, but when i asked if he was still on for tonight when i text him this morning he said yeah def.

I've seen you've posted a few times about this bloke cancelling and I have to say that I think you may be right in letting this one go... If he can't even make a first meet despite it being re-arranged 3/4(?) times then it really doesn't bode well because to me it seems either he's making up excuses not to meet you, or if his reasons are genuine then he obviously has too much other stuff going on in his life and you don't want to end up in a relationship where you're bottom of the pile all the time and/or getting pulled into all sorts of other issues. I would focus your efforts elsewhere rather than wasting your time messaging someone who sounds like he only wants an internet girlfriend!

zoesmummy_2006

its twice been cancelled now, last weekend couldnt be helped cos of the snow, but I know from what he's said his ex is regretting what shes done and wants him back and is being awkward over access to their daughter. Just more reasons to let this one go me thinks, I have the baggage of an ex like that though im further down the line and divorced, so things for him are gonna get worse before they get better.

I looked good (as usual!!) last night too-his loss lol

lou--b

Thought Id better post a wee update.
Was meant to be meeting someone on Saturday, He mailed me on Thurs to cancel. He met someone IRL and didnt think it would be right to meet me under those circumstances. Glad he told me and didnt just stand me up lol. Anyway...onwards and upwards. Meeting someone on Monday and another on Thurs...is it wrong to keep my options open?
Good luck to everyone and I'll keep you all posted. I know the online thing does work. My mum met her man on a dating site and they're getting married next year. He's lovely, perfect gent who treats her like a lady which is more than my dad done in 36yrs of marriage lol.

Lou

Butterfliesarepretty

I have been chatting to a guy from liverpool aged 43, seems to want to catch me online and responds to all my messages. Hes a printer and 6ft and is off sick with a back problem but hes ok.

Im not looking forward to valentines day, my car is unusable, after the roof vandalism the new roof is on, but have a slight coolant leak which is ok to keep eye on but the battery is weak now and just waiting for a charger to arrive in post to trickle charge the gel battery in the house over a few days so having to go work on the bus which is £4.50 a day so far. Off tuesday too so got an aerial man coming round to give quote for new aerial if needed.
Hoping my old roof on ebay with frame is sold today as Im running out of money lol.
Keeping my chin up and entering lots of comps. Need to win money!

LisaB85

Still seeing the guy I met in the first week of January we still get on ok but no real spark but we are comfy together; however he has said a couple of things that bother me this weekend.

When we first met he said he doesn't like skinny women etc and I'm not skinny. We were sat on the sofa last night and he commented on my strong legs telling me he likes watching athletes with their toned legs and bums....I'm not toned as such. My mentally abusive ex used to tell me he liked my body but then would make a point of pointing out he was looking at skinny bimbo type women, all men look but you get the idea of his actions.

Then while he was in the shower I went on his laptop to find somewhere on Google maps, after he got out of the shower he said he had gone on the dating site before I used it to see if I checked his history which I obviously didn't and he said he was surprised as I had checked an ex's history.

He knows why I saw my ex's history, my ex was abusive he played mind games which made me insecure, one day he asked me to go on his laptop and find a site he had been using to research for his college course so I went in the history where I found !!!!!! websites and specific searches for skinny young girls. I have nothing against !!!!!! and know men look at it but at that point of my life he had worn me down so much I had zero confidence and he had also sworn that he had never looked at !!!!!!.

He eventually admitted he got me to look for the site in his history claiming he couldn't find it because he knew I'd find those other sites, yet another way to play mind games.

So now this new guy has shown 2 little signs of similar things but everything else is OK, the thing I am most unhappy about is him planting the dating website in his history to check up on me.

I thought he understood my past with my ex and thought he trusted me so now I feel hurt that he has done this and makes me feel like he is siding with my ex and thinking I was the bad guy or maybe it was harmless.

I don't know what to do.

Butterfliesarepretty

LisaB85 wrote: »

Still seeing the guy I met in the first week of January we still get on ok but no real spark but we are comfy together; however he has said a couple of things that bother me this weekend.

When we first met he said he doesn't like skinny women etc and I'm not skinny. We were sat on the sofa last night and he commented on my strong legs telling me he likes watching athletes with their toned legs and bums....I'm not toned as such. My mentally abusive ex used to tell me he liked my body but then would make a point of pointing out he was looking at skinny bimbo type women, all men look but you get the idea of his actions.

Then while he was in the shower I went on his laptop to find somewhere on Google maps, after he got out of the shower he said he had gone on the dating site before I used it to see if I checked his history which I obviously didn't and he said he was surprised as I had checked an ex's history.

He knows why I saw my ex's history, my ex was abusive he played mind games which made me insecure, one day he asked me to go on his laptop and find a site he had been using to research for his college course so I went in the history where I found !!!!!! websites and specific searches for skinny young girls. I have nothing against !!!!!! and know men look at it but at that point of my life he had worn me down so much I had zero confidence and he had also sworn that he had never looked at !!!!!!.

He eventually admitted he got me to look for the site in his history claiming he couldn't find it because he knew I'd find those other sites, yet another way to play mind games.

So now this new guy has shown 2 little signs of similar things but everything else is OK, the thing I am most unhappy about is him planting the dating website in his history to check up on me.

I thought he understood my past with my ex and thought he trusted me so now I feel hurt that he has done this and makes me feel like he is siding with my ex and thinking I was the bad guy or maybe it was harmless.

I don't know what to do.

Dump him. This is a sign of a control freak. I was married to one. dont fall into that trap.
Dont settle for second best.
There are far nicer people out there.

prudent_princess

He is playing with your mind too..i would get rid of him fast!

I lived with a control freak for over 6 years and it has left me with anxiety and paranoid thoughts.

I was perfectly ok before him!

LisaB85

That is what I'm thinking, he must be thinking of my past and planning to do something like plant websites in his laptop history to test me, I assume comments about 'hot' women are to test me too unlucky for him I have grown quite a thick skin and don't care, I just nod or ignore the comments.

Although last night I got a notification that one of the girls I chatted to on the forums had mailed me on pof (profile is hidden) so went on to read it and noticed he hasn't been online since we met.

edeneve

Hi all,
I've been a lurker for a while on the thread but just had to post my experiences...

I've tried most dating sites over the years and also been on single holidays.

I was married 14 years but grew apart then met my last ex online, he was lovely initially, planned marriage and a child but then he became controlling, abusive and a cheater, we separated 2 years ago.

Anyway, over the last 6 months i've tried POF (a lot of wierdo's and married people, but there are some genuine people but you have to use common sense and thoroughly check them out). My first date wasn't even the same guy, was entirely different race, second guy first date was nice but second date was incredibly arrogant and rude. A lot want to chat for way too long or arrange a date then dissapear.

Match.com, costs a lot and didn't find it much better.
Oasis...just far too many people to be able to sift properly.
OKcupid i found too slow and didn't like.
E-harmony expensive and not enough people on....so I have found I have stuck to POF and I've become a bit ruthless in filtering people in or out.e been on a few and made

Single with kids is fab has a forum and a dating site and do holidays for single people, i'v made a few great friends.

What works for me is:
Sending e-mails to people I like sound of, keeping it to a few lines of something interesting that shows I actually read their profile

I only reply to mails that also do the same, never reply to Hello's, hi there or one liners.

I usually chat for a week then swap numbers and arrange a date soonish but always speak on the phone beforehand as I find I can tell just by talking if we will get along and then not swept off my feet by what they look like.

I've dated a few guys I met in the real world, but most it turns out have been married or have serious issues about relationships or ex's.

I've also dated a few off pof and I found that the more I dated the more I found out exactly what i didn't want and also what I did. It could be a bit disheartening at times, when the same types surface, players, married men, sexpests, relationship phobes but I keep in the back of my mind that there must be someone genuine who fits the bill lol.

I have to add I have a large family (6 kids) and my bitter ex tried to brainwash me into believing no-one would want me...I have to say though I haven't found that, people I have dated have wanted me it has actually been me who has become more choosy because I want the right man. So don't give up.

Anyway recently I lined a few dates up and have met two really lovely men but I am now focusing my energies into one. We chatted online a week, then arranged a date, then chatted on phone before the date, he lives local but I always ask dates to come to a place near me, if they do to me it shows they are keen and caring.

He was a perfect gentleman and we hit it off immediately, another thing for me is that i want a man to pay on a first date...for me it shows there not stingy and like to make you feel special, after that i'm happy to split bills, i always offer but if they accept on a first date I'm put off.

Anyway second date, he booked a meal for us, brought me flowers and picked me up and it got even better....We talk everyday and see each other a few times a week and it is wonderful, we've both been married twice, had our fair share of troubles but get on so well....the funny thing was the week before I met him I finally got rid of my engagement/wedding rings...was it a sign lol!

I guess what I'm saying though is don't give up, we have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find the prince that is the right 'fit' for us...I have such a good feeling about him...so he maybe the one but if not I'm enjoying it....and I met him on POF, is profile was simple, clear and nice...I didn't swoon but I liked the 'normality' of it and in real life he was so much nicer than his pictue online, but his personality is amazing.

keep plodding on guys you never know who may turn up and when....just be yourself and be honest with yourself as to what you want and i'm sure you'll find it....