Social Worker Problems :'(

verysillyguy06

StressedAndDepressed wrote: »

I've been a lurker for a long time (sorry!), but I've registered to see if someone can hopefully give me some advice before I go out of my mind with worry .
Ok, the basis is this - Back in 2005 my health visitor involved social services because I refused to agree to my younger child needing speech therapy and asked to be allocated a different health visitor (yes I know that sounds trivial but it's the truth!). Anyway social services made a home visit we spoke to them, showed them around our home, had them check our cupboards for food :eek: and even go through our clothes drawers :eek: ans I have never felt so humiliated in all my life purely over a disagreement with a health visitor!
Anyway roll onto this year and again we had another visit, this time because my older son's "friend" was claiming that my son was never fed, had no clothes and no bed :eek:, needless to say same thing happened again, all through the house, cupboards, drawers, etc! They made a report and we were told that everything was fine, no reason for any action and case was over, thank goodness we thought!
BUT no! roll on 6 months and our son (who is now 17) comes home from school saying social worker has been back again asking about his bio dad and saying they want him to have his own flat!! So we leave it a couple of days, no contact so we ring them to ask what is going on?! The answer has left us both flabbergasted! We have now been told the 2005 case was made dormant not closed?! And they re-opened it because our son has not been to the doctors in 6 years!!! , they want to know why he has not seen his bio dad (erm, ask his bio dad he's the one who walked out!), and they have admitted that they discussed his options for living in a flat that we would be expected to pay for if he doesn't want to live at home anymore!
Now we have an appointment to speak to her next Friday after she accused us of refusing to co-operate after we asked to meet away from our home, not going through that humiliation again! As far as I can see surely this is not a normal way for social services to operate?
Apologies for the length of the post but I'm at a lost and do not understand what is going on!

Hi, dont worry too much is the first. They have acted wrongly according to your facts and you should complain afterwards.

First of all me thinks that there could be more behind all this either that you dont want to say or that you dont know and possibly school or someone on else has not told you.

We are not allowed to have a case open longer than six months if we dont do anything, nevermind 6 years. Dormant cases do not exist and they were under no circumstances allowed to contact your son.

Something is not right. The only reason for Social Care to contact children directly would be Child Protection concerns. You are best to ask if there were any other complaints as that is more likely to be the case.

I also suspect that you have shown the social worker in the past everything rather than them asking you to show them? They are likely to have want to have seen the room but draws? Unlikely unless there was a strong referral made from another source.

Either they are very incompetent and are acting almost illegally, or there are more issues at stake. Best to co-operate but get them to tell you the exact reasons. If you were unaware that the case was 'dormant' say that it was not right and ask for complaints procedures....

Good luck

ani*fan

Hi there StressedandDepressed :wave:

I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble with social workers. I'm not a social worker but I work closely with them and wondered if I could offer you some info and advice around what may have raised their concern, what your rights are and what you can expect from them.

The first thing I thought about is your son's speech therapy. Sometimes one course of speech therapy is enough. Sometimes it's not enough and the child will need to go back later. Speech therapy concerns your child's development which impacts on his education and is not trivial at all but very serious. SWs would be concerned if you didn't get your child speech therapy when he may need it. It would be worth having him assessed again to put everyone's minds at ease. They can't hassle you if you have a recent letter saying he doesn't need any speech therapy.

SWs are not entitled to enter your home or rummage through your cupboards. You are entitled to phone, speak to a manger and make a complaint. As this has happened already, but you seem to shy to complain, I would suggest you let them know the last visit was unpleasant and you would like someone else. Keep a log of all contact with SW. The person's name, the date and time, what was discussed and agreed. This can help everyone. (i.e. If you're accused of being unco-operative you can check your notes and say 'I phoned yesterday and no-one phoned me back') If you arrange for them to come to your home, make sure you have a partner or friend their for support. See their ID.

SW would not randomly go and visit your son at school and concerns must have been raised by someone. You're entitled to ask and be told what these concerns are. I wonder why his friend said that your son had no bed and not enough food? I'm guessing that, like the rest of us on here (!) money is tight just now. And 17 year old boys can eat you out of house and home. If there is not quite enough then a SW could help you work out if you're entitled to benefits. They know the system and can help with forms making it all much easier. Are you able to talk to your son about why he wants to leave home? Maybe he doesn't get on with your partner? Or does he sometimes have to share his room so it doesn't feel like his own space? Obviously you don't have to answer on here (none of our business) but these are the kinds of things a SW might ask. It can help to be ready.

Please try not to be frightened. Get support from people you trust. Try and think of social workers as a resource. It is their job to help you take care of your children so make them work for their money! See what they can come up with.

I wish you the very best in this situation. If you want to PM me, feel free.

Good luck

AFx

jess1974

I would'nt worry too much, at 17 your son is almost an adult, i would'nt have thought ss could force him to live anywhere he does'nt want too, my fear is that because you have younger children, they will find something else to poke their noses into.....Good luck.

StressedAndDepressed

verysillyguy06 wrote: »

First of all me thinks that there could be more behind all this either that you dont want to say or that you dont know and possibly school or someone on else has not told you.
I think maybe the school have some input that has not been mentioned, the social worker refused to state why she visited, only saying she was "reviewing" the case. She will not give me any answers to my questions which is why I insisted on an appointment.

Something is not right. The only reason for Social Care to contact children directly would be Child Protection concerns. You are best to ask if there were any other complaints as that is more likely to be the case.
Have asked her over the phone and she avoided answering the question several times.

I also suspect that you have shown the social worker in the past everything rather than them asking you to show them? They are likely to have want to have seen the room but draws? Unlikely unless there was a strong referral made from another source.
No I did not show them they stated that they "must" go through my belongings, fridge, cupboards, drawers as it was "part of procedure"


And no there is nothing more that I have not or am not willing to mention, hence the fact I find this so perplexing.

StressedAndDepressed

ani*fan wrote: »

The first thing I thought about is your son's speech therapy. Sometimes one course of speech therapy is enough. Sometimes it's not enough and the child will need to go back later. Speech therapy concerns your child's development which impacts on his education and is not trivial at all but very serious. SWs would be concerned if you didn't get your child speech therapy when he may need it. It would be worth having him assessed again to put everyone's minds at ease. They can't hassle you if you have a recent letter saying he doesn't need any speech therapy.

He was re-assesed and the speech therapist felt he did not need more therapy, she was happy with his progress but the social worker (who happens to be the manager) is insistent that he have more, she has not even spoken to him so I do not understand how she has made that judgement.

SWs are not entitled to enter your home or rummage through your cupboards. You are entitled to phone, speak to a manger and make a complaint. As this has happened already, but you seem to shy to complain, I would suggest you let them know the last visit was unpleasant and you would like someone else. Keep a log of all contact with SW. The person's name, the date and time, what was discussed and agreed. This can help everyone. (i.e. If you're accused of being unco-operative you can check your notes and say 'I phoned yesterday and no-one phoned me back') If you arrange for them to come to your home, make sure you have a partner or friend their for support. See their ID.
I did explain that I found it unpleasant when speaking to her but she just said, "that's part of the job and it has to be done". I will take on your advice re: keeping a log of all contact, thank you.

SW would not randomly go and visit your son at school and concerns must have been raised by someone. You're entitled to ask and be told what these concerns are. I wonder why his friend said that your son had no bed and not enough food? I'm guessing that, like the rest of us on here (!) money is tight just now. And 17 year old boys can eat you out of house and home. If there is not quite enough then a SW could help you work out if you're entitled to benefits. They know the system and can help with forms making it all much easier.
As with everyone else extra money would always be nice but we are not struggling to make ends meet, our bills are paid, cupboards stocked (social worker who visited last time thought we were stockpiling ) and my son has a perfectly fine bed, it seems this so called friend is for some reason just trying to cause trouble, I just don't understand why as I have only met him once!


Are you able to talk to your son about why he wants to leave home? Maybe he doesn't get on with your partner? Or does he sometimes have to share his room so it doesn't feel like his own space? Obviously you don't have to answer on here (none of our business) but these are the kinds of things a SW might ask. It can help to be ready.

He doesn't want to leave home, she told him she wants him to get his own flat or move into a hostel 10 miles away, he said he didn't want to leave home as he is happy here but she said it is for the best! :mad:

Please try not to be frightened. Get support from people you trust. Try and think of social workers as a resource. It is their job to help you take care of your children so make them work for their money! See what they can come up with.

I wish you the very best in this situation. If you want to PM me, feel free.


Good luck

AFx

I think I've answered everything, so much whirling round in my head.

Surely though a social worker cannot go into a school talk to my son and tell him that his step dad is a control freak who does not want him in his house and start demanding he moves into a flat or hostel? It just seems so bizarre!
The other thing she was asking that did not make sense was why myself & my ex husband split up, when it was and where he lives now, etc. I do not see what my private life has to do with any of this?

I am going to register a complaint, but I am worried that as she is the manager it will be swept under the carpet!

verysillyguy06

StressedAndDepressed wrote: »

verysillyguy06 wrote: »

First of all me thinks that there could be more behind all this either that you dont want to say or that you dont know and possibly school or someone on else has not told you.
I think maybe the school have some input that has not been mentioned, the social worker refused to state why she visited, only saying she was "reviewing" the case. She will not give me any answers to my questions which is why I insisted on an appointment.

Something is not right. The only reason for Social Care to contact children directly would be Child Protection concerns. You are best to ask if there were any other complaints as that is more likely to be the case.
Have asked her over the phone and she avoided answering the question several times.

I also suspect that you have shown the social worker in the past everything rather than them asking you to show them? They are likely to have want to have seen the room but draws? Unlikely unless there was a strong referral made from another source.
No I did not show them they stated that they "must" go through my belongings, fridge, cupboards, drawers as it was "part of procedure"


And no there is nothing more that I have not or am not willing to mention, hence the fact I find this so perplexing.

That seems all very perplexing to me too. I cannot imagine any reasons, apart from very strong referrals from other sources, that would warrant this type of behaviour from Social Care. If they keep not answering your questions, I dont want to alarm you, but I would then contact the manager. The going through your belongings is not part of any procedures that I know off unless your child is part of a child protection plan and even then it would need strong evidence of neglect to warrant this. All sounds a bit fishy to me and hints at other sources of concerns......

verysillyguy06

StressedAndDepressed wrote: »

I think I've answered everything, so much whirling round in my head.

Surely though a social worker cannot go into a school talk to my son and tell him that his step dad is a control freak who does not want him in his house and start demanding he moves into a flat or hostel? It just seems so bizarre!
The other thing she was asking that did not make sense was why myself & my ex husband split up, when it was and where he lives now, etc. I do not see what my private life has to do with any of this?

I am going to register a complaint, but I am worried that as she is the manager it will be swept under the carpet!

Just keep going through the official complaints procedures. Ask for a leaflet...they are not from CAFCASS are they? Sometimes the stepdad may go through court to get a well being report but they would have needed to tell you? Get their ID and yes, it is very good advice to keep a log

Amyrose

What is the likelihood of your 17 year old having initiated this latest series of enquires from SS?

Does he want a place of his own?

Is he sharing a room?

nic2075

Is it possibly your ex husband causing bother? I take it he is your sons Bio Dad? You said it was strange that he has been mentioned recently. Is your son in contact with him?

RAS

Me too - ask out-right when they last spoke to his boio-father and what that entailed. I thinky uo will find that this may be involved. Also ring school and ask for an urgent appointment with the head and find out if the school have any concerns.